Saturday 12th February

I managed to buy a monorail ticket in Tokyo Haneda Airport in Japanese! Easy really - just had to match the symbols on the picture of the monorail with the symbols on the ticket selection screen - good job I had my glasses on.

Transferred on to the subway and after the weight training session carrying my luggage I arrived safely at the capsule hotel which was my box for the night. Hillarious idea for accomodation. Totally bizarre - leave your shoes at the front door and change into plastic slippers. My box was smaller than a single sized mattress and not even high enough to sit up in (and I was in the deluxe version). It was very clean but far too hot and my chocolate biscuits melted.

My backpack was too wide to fit into the locker provided. To ensure I had a good nights sleep, without worrying that someone may try to steal my worldly possessions, I struggled up my little wooden ladder with the backpack and slept with it inside my capsule. It is quite amazing how roomy these things are in an emergency.

Note to self: enroll in night classes to take up joinery and convert my home into a 150 roomed guest house

Sunday 13th February

Ahh back to 4* luxury with kimmono and more free slippers. Decided on a slow day today to recover and took a leisurely stroll around the Imperial Palace grounds. The day went without any 'incidents'.

Started to look like a proper traveller - I went out in my zip off pants (still with the legs zipped on of course).To help compensate though, as I did not feel I was totally ready for the 'traveller look' I got the hair straightners out and put a bit a make up on. Feeling good, all was going well until I needed some cash out of my pocket. Disaster - I undid the wrong zipper andmy trouser leg half fell off - FOOL. I casually zipped myself back together, without trying to look too dumb infront of the cashier and choose another zip to open which luckily was the one containg the cash.

Note to self: More training required re the wearing of zip off pants before venturing out in them in public again.

Monday 14th February

Seeing as I didn't get any Valentines cards to open I had plenty of time to do Tokyo in a day

Tsukiji Fish Market - smelt it before I found it. Decided I really wasn't a big enough fan of fish markets to get up at 4am to go and watch the auctions so arrived 10.30ish to see them washing down the sale areas. This was not a pointless trip however as I had the bestest sushi from one of the restaurants around the edges of the market. I pointed (in my best Japanese of course) to the pictures on the chart of which piecesof shushi I wantedand the guy then made it in front of me - fab.

Toyo Stock Exchange - made a few million to help keep me in the life I am acustom to.

Tokyo World Trade Centre - declined the opportunity to go to the top observation platform - just in case.

Fuji TV Centre - futuristic looking building with a large globe shaped observatory at the top. Closed on the first attempt of visiting but made it to the top eventually.

Rainbow Bridge - went underneath it on my water bus (boat from one side of the river to the other) and then had to wait till dusk, at the top of the Fuji TV Centre to take a photo of the bridge lit up.

Shopping - goes without saying there had to be some shops in there somewhere

OOps - made the mistake of being on the Tokyo subway at rush hour. I lost 15cms in width but have now grown 30cms taller. A few beers (naturally) were needed to help recover from this experience.

Note to self: Always purchase a full subway day pass when travelling around as this saves time and money when you get on the wrong subway line and need to turn around and start again.

Tuesday 15th February

I woke up to find it had snowed in the night and the city roads were covered. For one split second I thought my trip to Mount Fuji would be cancelled due to the snow fall and then I remembered I was in Tokyo and not the Isle of Man. Tokyo does not close when it snows. It was great just to sit on the tour bus and have some else do the arranging. He did a pretty good job, we never got lost once.

The bullet train was very modern and super quick. More like an aeroplane than a train. So on that thought, my only criticism would be they need to add the clickety clack sound back in to make it more train like.

Wednesday 16th February

Decided to do some proper sight seeing and went off to find the magnificant fountains in Yoyogi Park. Perhapds this was also a second home for our friendly pic - a - nic bear from Jellystone or maybe was the residence of his Japanese cousin, who unfortunately has a stutter. This was not to be. The only residents in the park were the local tramps. They must be pretty well off though as they all had more luggage than me. The fountains were lovely - well perhaps they may have been because they were missing the main companent which makes them fountains - WATER. I left pretty sharpish.

Note to self: Get more luggage to avoid being mistaken for a tramp.

Later that evening.....

After searching the streets of Tokyo for 90 minutes for a Teppanyaki restaurant I decided to call it a day - I was beaten but in the nick of time I saw a mirage - the Kirin Beer House (local beer place with food). My saviour. There was something lost in translation of my order. I obviously didn't point and nod at the right times.I had chips to start followed by steak and chips. No wonder they think the English are strange. Even though by this stage I could have eaten a scabby horse it was probably one of the best steaks I have ever eaten.

Note to self:Watching a McDonalds burger being cooked doesn't qualify as being a proper teppanyaki meal. Must try harder to find Japanese Teppanyaki Restaurant as I am in Japan.

Thursday 17th February

After more research on the internet I discovered there was a teppanjaki restaurant near the station I was using to travel to Narita Airport.

My pointing was successful and I watched my meal being created in front of me however all was not well when I started eating. Not wishing to offend the chef I had to weigh up which option would be less offense to him: a) don't eat the steak (pretty difficuly when he is only 1 metre away from me) or b) appologise and ask if he could put the steak back on the hot plate for another 5 minutes. I went for option b which he did look confused at first and then thought my request was hillarious. I can eat raw fish because fish don't make a noise but I can't eat meat that still mooos when you bite into it.

I missed out on going to a sumo match in Tokyo as unfortunately it was the wrong season. I guess the sumo men can't fight all year round as they may loose weight if they exercised too much.

Top Bizarre Sights In Japan

Japanese people eating English shepherds pie

Man hoovering subway steps

People sleeping on subway during rush hour

Shops selling prams for dogs