...yes that's right, the much maligned country of burning hotels, crashed tuk-tuks and dirty scheming Asian men is now remembered with a great deal of fondness by Luke and myself. Why, I hear you ask? Because it was so bloody cheap, that's why! Travellers of the future, do not let this opportunity of cheap food/accomodation/souvenirs/daytrips/scuba diving courses/DVDs go amiss - it's very expensive everywhere else in the world!

As we found out much to our dismay on our daytrip to Sentosa in Singapore. A lovely little island just off the coast, we were delighted to be greeted by a balloon sculpting man on our arrival. He made us swords out of balloons so we could play Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles with Donatello! It was great. Luke thought he was Leonardo but really he was Splinter because he was born in the Year of the Rat. So thus I became Leonardo doing the leading, and thus took us straight toward the luge ride. Luke won but only because he was heavier and I nearly fell out of my kart going around a bend.

After all the thrills of sword fighting and luge racing, we decided we needed to relax. What better way, suggested Luke, than a nice bit of foot reflexology? Suspiciously, I agreed, wondering whatever could have got Luke so interested in having a massage when he so vigourously avoided the bargain Thai beach massages in Ko Samui...it was when I saw the fish that were to EAT OUR FEET that I cottoned on it wasn't going to be as relaxing as first suspected. The fish were between an inch to 3 inches long, and it felt like we were being tickeled to within an inch of our lives as they nibbled off the dead flesh surrounding our toes. This lasted for a slightly mortifying 15 minutes, with the embarrassing issue of the fish refusing to leave our feet when other customers joined the little pool that contained the little pirahna wannabes. However, our feet were left softer than ever and the treatment was followed up by a lovely foot massage, in which the masseuses used a strange mustical ointment known only as "Nivea Cream" (Luke saw the blue lid).

By this point, we were pretty broke as the fish thing had cost us nearly a tenner so we decided that I would cover the aquarium whilst Luke went to look at some fort where the Japanese did something or other during WWII. Luke got to take some pictures of some big guns, whilst I had some little fish spit water in my face at the touch pool. We then watched some turtles get fed, although it wasn't pizza like in Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. It was lettuce. And with that, we decided we had seen enough and set off back to the hostel where we had a curry in Little India. Again. No junk food for us!

The next day, Luke was very sleepy and had to do his washing and so I went shopping. Accidentally bought two shirts in Topman didn't I? Haven't even been in the England branches for years and I come her and end up spending 40 quid! Since he'd been left out and stayed at the hostel all day, I bought Luke some little mints with a mirror that he could check his hair in and headed back home - only to find out that he'd been to the cinema whilst I'd been out! Apparently it wasn't very good though, something about table tennis, Balls Of Glory maybe? Anyway, Luke says don't go see it.

Later that evening, the sport was on the telly; "Hooray!" said Luke, "Boo!" said I! And so it was decided that whilst Luke watched England win the football with some other boys, I would go to Raffles with some girls I met and have Singapore Slings before heading off to Zouks, Singapore's biggest nightclub. The Singapore Slings were very nice, but as for the club...well, let's just say Singaporeans can't handle their alcohol at all. They were puking all over the joint! We soon got bored of this and headed back to the hostel, where we found the boys watching the rugger on the telly box. I believe England won again. But you know that.

And thus before we knew it, our time in Asia had come to an end! With only a quick McDonalds Delivery to sustain us (yes, that's right, they deliver here!), we headed for the airport where all the wonders we had heard about awaited us - free internet, a swimming pool on the roof, amazing shops, etc. Well, it didn't turn out quite to plan, what with the internet not working, having to pay to use the swimming pool, and not being allowed into the shops until 90 minutes before our flight. But we wouldn't let that deter us from having fun on our last evening, so whilst Luke had a Burger King and tried to get the Internet to work, I grabbed one last Singapore Sling at the poolside bar. This wouldn't have normally been a problem but they were also dishing out free shots of Absolut vodka in the duty free section, and I kept having to walk past whilst looking for Luke...it would have been rude not to really. So, several shots later, I rocked up to the gate slightly worse for wear and we boarded the flight ready for the next chapter of our adventure.

And what a start it got off to! You know what I said about Singaporeans not being able to handle their drink? Well I'm a fine one to talk. After our stop-over in Darwin and during the middle of take-off I started to feel ever so slightly queasy...this rapidly turned into full-blown nausea and I was quickly emptying out my duty free bag over the seat to make an impromptu sick bag, which I promptly filled. Luke just laughed at me and went back to his nap.

However, by the time we arrived in Cairns I was feeling much better and the clear blue skies and smog-free air were, well, a breath of fresh air after Smogapore and Smoga Lumpur. Our new hostel was set in the middle of a bunch of palm trees, and there as yet have been no sightings of giant scary spiders or snakes. Just a dead toad outside our window but you can't win 'em all can you? Wasting no time at all, we've sorted ourselves out with visas, bank accounts and new haircuts, all ready for life in the Outback. Today we haven't really done much but look around Cairns but I'm sure in no time we'll be living the good life and mingling with all the big Aussia stars such as Nicole Kidman, Madge from Neighbours, Kylie Minogue and Steve Urwin. Until then, I guess we better find Luke a job up here and then I'm off down to Sydney...the blogging will be a nightmare!

Lots of upside-down love, from Chris and Luke x x