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An abridged recap of my first month in Nepal. You can safely assume that on any given day I:
ate daal bhaat (twice), taught between 0-3 lessons, the weather was hot and sunny, I was intimidated by Bernie the peacock, the electricity was off.
8th March - The One with the Spooky Double, in which our exhausted heroine is met at Kathmandu by a Nepali lad the spitting image of her brother David.
9th March - The One with the Monkeys, in which our enlightened heroine learns to say "awesome" in Nepali and scales 500 sheer steps in order to better appreciate Buddha. And monkeys.
10th March - The One with Holi, in which our culturally appreciative heroine participates in a poster paint and water fight with the rest of Kathmandu.
11th March - The One with the Bus Ride of Terror, in which our resigned heroine contemplates her own mortality.
12th March - The One with the Eggs, in which our ever hungry heroine eats the first of many plates of daal bhaat and walks 6Km in the burning heat to buy 4 dozen eggs for two pounds (for the orphans, not herself)
13th March - The One with the Big Fish, in which our ravenous heroine is slightly ashamed to be told by her fellow volunteer that portion sizes have increased since her arrival.
14th March - The one With the Hindu Goddess, in which our heroine is named after a goddess and considers the relative merits of Dan Brown and John Stuart Mill on the orphanage book shelf
15th March - The One with the Evil Peacock, in which our heroine is forcibly reminded of a) the vicious chicken of Bristol, and b) Tamara Petrovna's radish.
16th March - The One with the Goat's Head, in which our intrepid heroine eats bits of a boiled goat's head bought by Asim. She feels she was better off not knowing which bits.
17th March - The One with the Elephants, in which we meet a guide incongruously called Babs, and manage to cram 33 people into a tuk tuk. Also, we encounter kamikaze bus drivers. but no one seems to notice.
18th March - The One with the Walking Wounded, in which our saintly heroine diagnoses parasitic infection and dispatches children to clinics. Or alternatively suggests soap and water.
19th - The One with the Rhino Invasion, in which our capable heroine cooks egg and potato curry and is once more ritually intimidated by peacock.
20th March - The One with the Grey Hair, in which our irate heroine objects to Nepali ladies older than she is calling her 'Mum' because her hair is so grey.
21st March - The One with the Dancing and the Really Large Crows, in which our amenable heroine makes a fool of herself for the locals.
22nd March - The One with the Insect Life, in which our despondent heroine battles mosquitos, cockraoches and a really large mutant ant with 7 legs. Subsequently she gets rungi tungi on 2 bottles of Everest beer.
23rd March - The One with the Cards, in which our bored heroine attempts to teach Chris to play Yahtzee, but with packs of cards rather than dice. It takes some time.
24th March - The One with Raju Pariyar, in which our starstruck heroine is impressed by the local celebrity and a chicken is slaughtered inthe kitchen. Chris objects to eating gizzard, so our heroine finishes it off for him.
25th March - The One with the Really Bad Mood, in which our heroine has a cold and has not slept well, which bodes ill for everyone.
26th March - The One with Rice Pudding and Globalisation, in which a rice pudding of awesomeness is made for Chris's departure and our ever curious heroine continues to wok her way through the orphanage book shelf.
27th March - No title for this one, for reasons which will be explained later this week
28th March - The One with the Strange Goodbye, in which Sushila and our heroine are left laughing by the lack of said acknowledgment. They cheer themselves up by shopping for clothes.
29th March - The One with Seriously No Electricity, in which the electric has been off for 48 hours and our grubby heroine is unable to shower and has to wash in a bucket.
30th March - The One with Balloons, in which our kindly heroine has made a rod for her own back by providing balloons for the afternoon class and will ever more be haunted by importunate cries of "me one balloon miss".
31st March- The One with the Mosquito of Doom, in which our hapless heroine fails to notice said insect, which proceeds to bite her 20 times on the arm and once (really badly) on the backside.
1st April - the One with the Big Rum Baba. in which our impetuous heroine has the time of her life riding pillion on a motorbike with no helmet. Later, she sees a decapitated goat and wonders if Asim is visiting again.
2nd April - The One with the Sacrificial Goat for Tea, in which our insightful heroine realises Asim is indeed visiting and has arrived via the Big Rum Baba and the goat sacrificing pit...
3rd April - The Surreal One with Lord William Regal, in whch our multifaceted heroine, on being asked to translate wrestling cards, stuns the local small boy population by revealing she was at school with said wrestler.
4th April - The One with the Wild Animal. in which our heroine spends the first half hour of her day gallivanting in a rice field with half the village in pursuit of an unknown animal, potentially of demonic origin. As it has previously been seen in the company of Bernie the peacock, our heroine feels it's demonic nature is a foregone conclusion. Later there are goodbyes, a tuk tuk, a long bus ride, a lake and cold beer.
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