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Any big night out is always preceded by a quick tour of the local area to pick up supplies and life experience
And so at 4 o'clock on a saturday afternoon I took the bus to a local attraction. I fancied this option as it is always difficult maintaining a car whilst travelling, especailly without free petrol, car cleaning, or insurance. Plus the bus offers a great scenic tour of grey terraced buildings and cultural co-op shops
So my one and only stop was a picturesque location named Aldi. Here you are greeted with intelligent attractive people that are overtly friendly, and more than happy to sit down at a till and serve you rather than leave you there waiting while they stack shelves. I purchased some fine wine which had been imported and was very expensive. I think it was called Lambrini
So with alcohol sorted I headed back to my pad to drink the entire bottle because im an all out nutty butty. And i needed dutch coverage, as later on i was to be a guest in Cardiff city centre, which is a lot like a zoo
My first stop was the Great Western. Its name originates from it being really great and being on the southern side of town. However i felt that, despite the incredibly cheap and full of flavour drinks, I stuck out somewhat, as jewellry, tattoos and heavy clown like makeup seemed to be the look required for entry. It also helped if you had the body of Dawn French
After some standing still at Walkabout, some Derek at Edwards and making some shapes at the Square, I moved on to a tropical club named Oceana. This is what travelling is all about. You have so many different attractions to choose from...
The Disco room, full of people that look strangely like your uncle
The Ice Room, full of people that are difficult to see
The Boudoir Room, full of people that like to use the words 'arrogant xxxx' a lot
Queuing for drinks is quick and easy, and you can get a bottle of top quality smirnoff ice in 40 minutes. Everyone around the bar area is very friendly and give you plenty of space to move around
After having a quick chat about incest with a few locals outside the club, my night takes me to a place that claims to do the king of burgers. Here i chat to other customers about how i model for the restuarant. As a whopper. Five minutes later i swiftly jump into a taxi after an encounter with a staff member named Zoltan, who didnt appreciate being called Dude, or being asked where his car is
All in all another electrifying life changing experience in Cardiff - Centre of the World
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