RanDom Well I do like to eat

Colin Cardiff And that ladies and gentlemen is the definition of the word 'bite'

Travel Information Colin Even though your subscription has ended, I found the last comment quite unnecessary and hypocritical. It seems that even though one may not have the capacity to smile as much as smiley smilerson from smilesville, it doesn't mean that one would be scared of life. Bunjee jumping for example, you're not strapped in like Alton Towers. Travelling to colombia and watching someone defecate in the street is an experience far removed from pretending to be hard with tiger tiger bouncer 'mates' and cycling on the edge of a 500m cliff for 4 hours is a little more risky than driving 90 in the outside lane in a 1.25 fiesta with petrol paid for by Chief Head. Unkind Regards, This message was brought to you by 'Keep em coming and I'll keep knocking them out of the park' Travel Information

Colin Cardiff Congratulations Carol Vorderman, no doubt you spent hours spell checking the last message you sent as youre clearly scared. To draw on this point I wish to address that you shouldnt be so scared of life. Try to enjoy it. Smiling helps. Kind Regards TravelCardiff.co.uk

Travel Information Dear Colin It is also with great regret that you took these messages in too much of a literal sense and missed the subliminal puns and wordplay inbedded in the text. 'Sea' was included as a reference to the lack of sea in your area and you may not have noticed the 'Wye' in the last message which was relevant to the positioning of Momnmouth in the Wye valley. Regards, This Message was brought to you by 'I've once again out smarted you' Travel information

Colin Cardiff It is with great regret that I agree to the cancellation of the subscription. It seems that 40 miles just inst enough anymore I do however wish to point out that the use of the word 'sea' relates to water/ocean/beach and not the ability to use ones sight or vision, 'see'. Therefore it is advised you attend English Lessons to aid your transition from Jew Land, and in order that you become an accepted citizen, one that likes salads, interesting conversation and keeping jobs Kind Regards Colin Cardiff

Travel Information Dear Colin As this is a free service and we have many subscribers who value our worldwide travel knowledge and make a concerted effort to fulfill their hopes and dreams with our help we have to prioritise those with greater ambition. Therefore we have cancelled your subscription with immediate effect. Travel Information This message was brought to you by 'stop playing with lego, travel further than 40 miles, stop pretending your bashy, reduce your intake of birdseye chicken and sausage rolls with cold beans, sea a punching yourself in the face and hitting doors counciller, go to a tiger tiger rehab clinic and go to tanning salon' travel information.

Colin Cardiff Thanks Travel Information, you've given me a great insight into my local surroundings. The Monmouth place in particular sounds right up my street. It does seem strange though that at just up to 40 miles away from either Monmouth or Cardiff its clear that there is far greater experiences to be had here than anywhere else in the world

Travel Information Dear Colin It seems that you haven't blogged for a while which made me concearned that you weren't fulfilling your travelling potential in and around cardiff. Therefore I have some suggestions which are within the 40 mile radius. Why not visit the nearby town of Newport for some bowling, go karting or if you want free accommodation in the local hospital, getting stabbed up real good may appeal. Even nearer is a place called Llantrisant which is a haven for pikeys and cheap clothes are the local attraction, Why not try purchasing something at 'mate rate'. If you want to push the boat out further, you could take a trip to Monmouth, a beautiful small wye valley town. Wye not indulge in 10 shots of whiskey and be sick on yourself outside the local public house. You could also start a fight with red hoodie and his 17 mates and perhaps take Jeremy out for a romantic meal. There are many possibilities so I hope this is the incentive for you to broaden your horizons. Regards, This message was brought to you by 'Sort Your Life Out Travel Information'

Colin Cardiff Busdiff is very good, almost as good as Carsame

Random Pun I prefer busdiff

Colin Cardiff Thanks for the kind words...I also think you should move to Cardiff. People protest that they move on to other places, but eventually everyone comes back. That old expression the grass is greener eh I think the tatoos will be marvellous. I once too had a tattoo. But then i realised it was a large freckle For further info please contact Adam Davis or Wayne Etheridge, Ambassadors of Cardiff

Lil Wayne Hello Colin My name is Dwayne Carter aka Lil Wayne Im kind of a big f***ing deal Anyway listen to Omarion ft me called Comfort, tune of 2009 im telling ya! Love the blog thinking about moving to cardiff cos vandiff is s***

RanDom Hello Colin Seems like you're really taking some big steps in life, those stories are amazing, and remember dont mess with the zoltan! We were thinking about getting 'dude' and 'sweet' tatoos as this would be so hilariously funny for about a week. Take it easy and try not to live too much, youre still young! Love you

Colin Cardiff This is amazing...just what I was looking for. It looks like the best city in the world. Actually it looks like the best thing ever. Amazing. What a place