Captain's Blog, stardate… uh….

So I've arrived in London and have made it through security. The first thing I've noticed is that the train I've got to take is on the line that goes to Cockfosters. It says something about my maturity that I giggled every time the automated voice mentioned that name over the loudspeaker.

The trains in London are tiny. And I mean tiny. They're roughly about half the size of Melbourne trains (both length and width), they have seats in an incredibly non-efficient pattern and the seats all have arm-rests. This should tell you something about the demand for trains over there.

Finally I got to Angel station and found that the number Sarah had given me to contact her was no good.This meant that I was stuck in a town where I knew no-one, had no means of contacting anyone (my mobile phone had run dry and I had been unable to recharge it). I ended up calling dad who called mum, who called Sarah and so without knowing what was happening (I had no way of anyone contacting me) I waited on a brisk London morning for 3 hours wondering if the rest of my holidays would be spent at Angel Station until Sarah rocked up.

The house Sarah's staying at had one major feature that Kris would love. A double shower. It had two shower heads, one directly above you and one in the normal position. Luckily for me this meant that I was able to turn both on at the same time and spend my shower pretending I was in a submarine that had suffered a direct hit.

We grabbed something to eat at a convenience store and here I learned an important lesson. Everything in London is mayonnaise flavoured.

Heading to the station I noticed several bobbies and was tempted to grab their little hat/helmet every time. Sarah doesn't think that Australian tourists are allowed to grab them and run and be let off the hook if they explain "but it's my first time in England and you look so goddamn ridiculous…."

On the train to Luton Airport (so we could get to France) I also noticed I seem to inspire people wherever I go. There were two chairs on opposite sides of the aisle and so Sarah took one and I went to take the other.A large British chap was asleep in the chair next to it though and had draped his chair over the seat (probably trying to deter anyone from sitting there). I had no qualms with picking up his jacket and moving it to his tray table though. At this point one of the notoriously polite English decided that was his cue to elbow me in the back. I s*** you not. It took me about 10 minutes to stop laughing about the fact that I'd only been in the country for half an hour and I'd already brought the citizens from the home of gentlemanly behavior to resort to pushing and shoving. How delightful.

Fun fact: While going through Nottingham I never once saw Robin Hood. I'm beginning to think that maybe he's not as common as I'd initially believed. Combining this with the lack of Spiderman viewings in New York has meant that I am now reconsidering next year's trip to Gotham City.