On to another blog! This time it's Paris!

An amazing invention greeted us as soon as we hit Paris; the foot-flush toilet. No button on the top, just a pedal at the bottom to flush. What a brilliant idea!

Next was the bus ride to the hostel . This consisted of us sitting there while a fat, bald man in the back of the bus loudly complained about how much he hated the USA in French.

Getting off the bus we moved to the hostel. At this point I should mention that I've got a massive backpack on my back and a normal size one reverse-style over my front as I trudge down the street. Luckily I'd dropped massive amounts of muesli and biscuits to one of Sarah's friends in NY and so I was down to only a about 15 kilos in my actual luggage and a few in the normal backpack. This in no way stopped me from looking and feeling like a giant turtle. I was slightly convinced that, if in danger, I could pull my arms and legs in and be totally protected. This may have had something to do with lack of sleep though.

Now here's the biggest point I have to make about Paris. The Big Cheese. The City of Love. Gay Pari.

The city f***ing sucks.

The people are rude in the worst way possible. Most both understand and can speak English, but simply refuse to out of arrogance. The city itself feels like it's stuck in a bubble that's keeping it centuries away from the rest of the world and does its best to make you feel like you're a nuisance and it'd be better off without you.

In fact, I met two nice people in Paris. The first was the owner of the kebab shop where Sarah and I got our first French meal. And before everyone starts choking on their croissants in regard to that last statement, you need to be aware that at that time of night nothing else was open and there are literally more kebab shops than there are street corners in the damn city (although he asked if we wanted cheese on our kebabs. What cheese do we get on kebabs in France? A Kraft single… wtf?). The other person was our walking tour of Paris guide. An incredibly gorgeous girl with a shining personality who was absolutely charming. She took us all over Paris to see the sights, the historically significant landmarks (from buildings to bridges to roads to gutters to arches). She had always dreamed of going to Paris since she was a little girl and had loved everything about it. It had taken the city only a few years to rob her of that spirit and make her decide that she would be leaving due to the rudeness of the people, inept driving and arrogance of the country as a whole. That's the magic of Paris. But that tour wasn't until the next day so I'll chat about that later.

So anyways, after that first night kebab, Sarah and I decided that we'd go for a walk to the Eifferl Tower. Which was on the other side of Paris. "No biggie" we thought, "We've got a rudimentary map and plenty of time, what's the worst that can happen?" Well it turns out that getting relatively close and then saying "Hmm… maybe we should try to go at it from a different angle so we get a better view walking up to it" isn't a great idea. It took us three hours to get to the Eiffel Tower.Of constant walking. Keep in mind that my holiday thus far had been as follows: LA was walking around the streets and Venice beach, NY was walking all over the island, London was walking and carrying bags everywhere and now Paris was more walking.

We finally got to the Eiffel tower and it was at exactly the wrong time. You know at the Arts Center how on the hour they'll try to make it "sparkle" by lighting up random lights all over it, but it only succeeds in making it look like a cheap and tacky rave toy? They do the same thing with the Eiffel Tower. I thought that they only did that to mess with tourists on the souvenirs they sell, but apparently they figured that it had to be a faithful recreation and so they went right ahead and tackyed the hell out of it. Thankfully the light show only goes for five or ten retina and soul destroying minutes and then you're left with the stunning sight of one of the world's most recognizable monuments lit up incredibly well. The night time view is simply stunning. Deciding that midnight was no time to start another 3 hour walk we cabbed back to the hostel so we could get up early for more adventures the next day!

Fun Fact: For some reason all the souvenir stores in Paris are running "The Best of 70's Porn" as their soundtracks. For some reason it makes you want to fast forward to what you want real fast, get it and get out of the store as soon as you can (and never go there again).