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The past three months have been the most incredible experience for me.
Travelling alone, stepping away from the daily grind means you are responsible only for you. You are free from everything. That in turn means you have a lot of time to reflect and get real with yourself. To process thoughts and emotions and to be honest.
It wasn't a conscious decision to do so but an organic development, a product of long bus journeys, walks and time.
And wow have I processed. Forgiven. Felt free. Made life decisions. So may times I've stopped and felt my heart full, the indescribable feeling that is happiness, for no other reason than why not? Look at the beauty! Be present in the moment. Remember how unbelievably lucky you are.
Get ready the clichés. I feel like a different person from three months ago. I can't remember the last time I felt angry or even annoyed (Skype and Asian wifi being the exception), the last time I didn't try and weigh up the situation instead of reacting. I know how tired it is but I really have felt so much, seen so much, been humbled by so much.
I'm feeling tumultuous about my return. Obviously I'm sooooo looking forward to seeing you all. But letting go of the life less lived is going to be hard.
So. What's the past three months been?
42 beds. 22 books. Five countries. Boats, bicycles, motorbikes, scooters, tuk tuks, taxis, pick up trucks, trains, planes, many, many buses.
Forests, jungles, rivers, dust, rain and cold, limestone karsts, yoga, temples, South China sea, beaches, cities, bad jokes, good jokes, laughter, singing, getting lost, history, memories and opinions, waterfalls, Buddhism, monks and holiness, Gulf of Thailand, the Mekong, Chinese new year, more yoga, massage, meditation and reiki, fires and animals, lakes and agriculture, more monks, fishermen, horrible toilets and amazing food, bad food, ubiquitous helpers, tropical islands, sand, sea and sweating, Andaman Sea, Bangkok times three.
Dom in thailand. Bruno, Sarah and Micheal and Kathryn and Julie in Laos. Ashlin and Brittany, Will, Moon, Tom and Mr Bin in Vietnam. Ryan, Nina, and Vanille in Cambodia. Lena, Simon and Manu in Myanmar. And of course Tobias. And the other countless people I met, exchanged fleeting life stories with, travel tips and ideas, dreams and losses and hopes.
The local people. Nothing like the warmth of a stranger, the fascination in your life, free tea, the time for a conversation, the waving hand of a curious kid, the photo taking, shouting hello, sharing food, endless kindness.
What a world hey? What a wonderful world.
- comments
Loz Oh, Rachel that is so good to read. It makes me so happy to hear (read?) you say these things and ive been waiting to hear you say them, i knew you would. Its wonderful that this trip has been everything you hoped for and has given you catharsis and closure along with such a rich experience. I can't wait to see you when you get back. Excuse me, i think i have something in my eye *ahem* Xx.
Rebecca Day welcome home beautiful one! Only just caught up with your last few blogs as been away too. As your bro said I have something in my eyes now...What a beautiful account you have given of your awesome trip and amazing insights into life and the universe.....I am looking forward to catching up when my nose is not dripping and my eyes not leaking onto the screen.....
Bruno Very beautiful story. I hope this journey helped you to know yourself better then before. Backing to the "real world" I miss the peace, the calm, the landscapes. Just walking, without any kind of concern in my mind. Taking life duties and responsibilities beside for a moment. In fact, I think I'll never feel my mind so peaceful than I had in Laos. I lived very good moments in that place called Luang Prabang. Hope you relax and enjoy this trip until your last day. I think a new Rachel will arrive at London soon :)
Saroj Bell Well said, Rachel and for someone of your age this is fantastic. You have the rest of your life to live, having forgiven in order to be free. Being out of the country and seeing more of the world does indeed put things more in perspective. Thank you for sharing your experiences, your heartfelt emotions and your enlightened new beginning. Go for it, girl!