Buscando the Silver Lining
The problem with living amongst non-English speakers is that I have no one to whom I can vent. Sometimes I try to get out my frustration in Spanish but to them it sounds like, ¨And then went he to the up and then and well and said I because I will be going there two but then, well forgetted me he will do.¨ Exactly.
Sometimes it does prove to be a good exercise because one of two things will happen. They will either try their hardest to make sense out of what I´m saying and their faces make me laugh or they will just burst into laughter and well, you know that when someone else is laughing I simply can´t help but join in. Every once in a while, if I´m really worked up about something, Manolo is good about letting me just rant in English. However, I have learned that a rant is rather unsatisfying if the person to whom you are ranting just gives you an uncomprehending smile and a nod then calmly takes a drag of his cigarette. I´ve found that the dog is a good listener as long as I don´t get too loud (she startles easily, poor thing) but the tried and true therapy for this crazy girl is writing. So here I am, trying to put a positive spin on a day that would make Alexander´s (10 points for whoever gets the reference) seem peachy keen for you, my beloved, supportive audience. However, if you are not the type that enjoys even a moment of ranting, I´d advise you skip down to the bottom where I plan on sharing some great news. I have marked it with an asterisks for you :-)
So what´s this all about? Why am I in such a mal humor? Alright, here it goes. I´ve always had a lot of internal conflict thinking about all of the things that I want to do in the next upcoming years. I want to travel, I want to write, I want to open a cafe, I want to teach Spanish in America and English abroad (Valencia, Lyons, Siberia...yes I´m serious), I want to volunteer with ARC, I want to get a masters and a PhD (although I don´t know what in), I want to teach Pilates, have something published, finish a painting - just one! - and oh yeah, choose a good man (for once), settle down, and have a family.
Now I know what practically everyone who reads this page is going to say. ¨Liana, deep breath. You have plenty of time. Just focus on finishing school.¨ Having received that advice in various languages as of late, I have taken some time to do just that and have decided the following: I will not, as I originally planned, drop French in order to graduate early. Instead, I will switch to a French minor and add Japanese. I have taken so much time to organize everything, select classes for this new plan, etc. and then when I tried to put the plan into action today, I literally couldn´t do a thing! Every time I log in to my online account to look for classes the computer REBOOTS! Truth be told, I don´t even know when I am supposed to register! So then I try to e-mail the Office of the Registrar and every attempt comes right back saying it´s undeliverable. So I tell myself, ¨Don´t get worked up, try again later.¨ So I go to class, come back and play musical chairs for AN HOUR in the computer lab trying to find a computer that will let me into my e-mail account. Finally I found one and - silver lining - got a response from one of my advisors that helped tremendously in my scheduling. Then I go to make the required changes to my summer classes and Oh! REBOOT!!!
I cannot tell you how many hours I have spent in this computer lab today, trying everything I can to make things work. The day to register is coming up so fast and I am literally sitting here pulling my hair out because I can´t get an e-mail out to the people I need or a reply from the one office who is supposed to be helping. It´s frustration on top of frustration and me sabe mal (¨I feel bad¨, haha that just came out, so I put it in italics and translated. You´re all going to learn Spanish with me from now on :-) because in the three or four hours I´ve dedicated to going crazy today, I really wanted to put up pictures from all the places I´ve been and write about fun things, and...well, it didn´t happen. I do have the option to go to a locutorio where I can pay to use the internet but I tend to be the only female with men that like to discuss movies that in English we rate with a letter far, far down the alphabet. I think today I shall pass because I´m not sure what the physical assault laws are here in Spain (and I don´t mean if I were the victim).
I know, I know, it´s a shame I have no spunk. But truth be told, I have to say muchas gracias for letting me get all this off my chest. Just knowing that anyone who reads this whole thing (aka Mom, M.P., R.S., and C.H.-soon-to-be-C.S. for sure) will understand it makes a world of difference. And now on to the asterisks!
*** The best thing to happen to me all day was seeing pictures of my cousin´s baby. He was born two days ago and everyone is doing well - thank you for all of your prayers. My mom called as soon as she found out and I freaked out, jumping up and down. Marisa happened to be in the kitchen with me and wanted to know what was happening so for the next two or three minutes I ended up translating a conversation between two mothers about hours in labor, pounds and inches (hastily converted into kilos and grams), and all that fun stuff.
But today my Dad forwarded some pictures to me and he is a handsome little devil. As cheesy as it sounds, it did make me realize (for the millionth or so time, believe me) that there is more to life than worry about classes and schedules and technical problems. My cousin and his wife became parents, my aunt became a grandmother, my other cousin an aunt. It is beautiful how life changes and I know that God has good changes in store for me. I just need to be patient and before I know it, I´ll be looking back and laughing at this crazy day. That said, I´m going to walk home now, focusing on the monton of blessings He has already given me and pray that it´s just the time difference that´s keeping things from getting accomplished.
All my love and promises of good things to come,