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So it has taken me a while to update, so i figured i would try and keep to the days as much as possible! I left for Malawi on Saturday 21st September and swam through security etc. no worries! Went for a ciggie in their airport smoking lounge (love africa!) and then went to the loo, this was all in about the space of half hour and i kept checking the screens for my gate and flight. Nothing seemed to be coming up so figured i still had time MISTAKE!! Heard an announcement when i was in the loo but was really muffled because of where i was so when i came out, I checked the screen again and nothing, so went for another quick ciggie. Whilst in there I heard another announcement and I didn't catch the name and I thought it said Kenya Airways not SouthAfrican Airways, (it had said SouthAfrican Airways) so again didn't panic. Then my brain started working properly and i was like, i need to go and ask someone when my flight is leaving, as i am doing this a man is angirly walking around and i bump into him, about to ask him if he knew when my flight was due and what gate, and he said "Are you Zoe Thomas" i was like "Yes....." "WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU THE PLANE IS ABOUT TO LEAVE!" so apologising profusely as i go i ran with him to the gate which was about 10 seconds away and apologised furthermore to the gate people who just looked at me like i was a d*** (fair enough really!!) and i tried to explain i was looking on the board for the gate number "You shouldn't be looking at the board!" Like i am supposed to know that though, any normal airport the boards tell you!! Geeees!! But i was in the wrong, and seriously learnt my lesson- In future- just always bloody ask someone!!! So the plane attendant met me half way down the walk way to the plane, again i am apologising profusely, and he was absolutely lovely about it!! "Not to worry miss it is ok, you made it!" THANK LIFE I DID!!!!! Was hard enough getting that flight- I lterally booked the last seat, i can only imagine the call to my Aunt and Parents... "Sooo ummm... I kind of missed my flight to Joberg..." :-/ Hell would have insued! But alas these are the things we learn in life! Sheepishly walked onto the plane and got in my seat and just stared out the window not wanting to make eye contact with anyone lol! Fell asleep for pretty much the whole journey which was awesome. When we landed i apologised again getting off the plane (so English!!!) and then went through immigration and went to the carousel to collect my bag. It wasn't a busy flight so only about 20 people collecting bags and one by one they collected theirs and left... leaving me standing there watching an empty carousel go round and round for about 10 minutes.... Convincing myself they have not lost my bag, did they do this on purpose because i was late? But they wouldn't have had time to take my bag off... could it because it is a connection flight? HAVE THEY LOST MY FREAKING BAG!??? So after this 10 minutes of sheer panic and trying to calm myself down, i wander over (canter) to baggage claims and ask the woman, who asks for my luggage ticket thing they stick on the back of your passport and low and behold one of my theories was correct, it was because i was on a connection flight from Joberg to Lilongwe... in the attendants own words "If you want your bag today, it is going to take a long time" now when someone at an airport tells you this will take a long time... it is going to take a long time, so i thought to myself it's only clothes, all my electrics (laptop, cables, phones etc.) are in my hand luggage (Thank you Aunty Sheena for convincing me this was the best way to carry them!!) so figured if they do get lost it's not the biggest deal and no one is going to want to steal my clothes most likely! So i wander out into the airport, which was MASSIVE!! O.R. TAMBO airport in Joberg- not going to lie it did have a very strong smell of crap but i got over that quickly, went to the bureau exchange to get a little rand to last me the day and then headed 3 stories up to the train station that sat on top of the airport. Got my ticket, hopped on the train and ended up coming off at a station i can no longer remember the name of (the last stop) to make a connection to Rosebank where i was going to be meeting my cousin Andrew and my uncle John. Got to the platform and got told off by the security woman as i can't drink water in the station (WEIRD!) so quickly put it back in my bag... she meant business!! Got to Rosebank and then couldn't get hold of my cousin (damn country codes for calling!) finally got hold of my aunt Sheena and she called Andrew and then was told to meet him at Nino's... after a bit of walking around and asking two very nice Thai guys where Nino's was (one of which even offered to walk me there! So nice!!) i ended up finding it quickly after his excellent directions, got a bottle of water and had sat down for about 20 seconds when i heard "Hello gorgeous!" My uncle John :-) cannot say after the day i had already had how incredibly happy i was to see him and Andrew walking towards me! Big hugs and kisses and then we wandered into the shopping complex quickly and i bought a new top so i didn't stink the next day! Luckily my toothbrush etc. was in my hand luggage (thank you Mum!!) so no dramas!! We then went straight to drop my uncle at the airport i had just left (their birthdays are very close together so he had come down to see Andrew for a few days after i got to Zim, so was really lovely to even see him for half an hour before i came to Malawi!) then me and Andrew headed back to his place (WHICH WAS GORGEOUS!) went out onto the terrace and had a ciggie and he poured me a glass of vino which was sooooo welcomed and then after a chat and a catch up decided to head to his local pub which was about 30 seconds walk down the road and filled up on more vino and him beer. I can't remember exaclty how long we were there, probably a good couple of hours or so, and after maaaany wines/beers and ciggies could even smoke inside crazy it seems now lol! We headed back to his place for Steak and salad YUUUM! Literally can remember a handful of our conversations, by this point i was incredibly tipsy and absolutely insisted on playing him some Ludovico and trying to convince him Dynamo is a wizard and he must watch him at some point, as well as some very deep conversations only alcohol can be blamed for bringing up! We called it a night and i went for a lovely slumber that was seriously welcomed as we had an early start the next day. We both got up and had a quick bath and we figured we had a bit more time to play with as i didn't need to check in with my bag... so we headed off and we got there in good time, my flight was departing at 9.30am and we got there about 8:15. Plenty of time right??? WRONG! The airport was quite literally packed compared to the afternoon before and i asked a woman where i was supposed to go (learning my lesson from Harare!) and she told me, i went to go through security and they closed that after the guy in front of me went and told me to go round the corner to the next one, which i did, queue wasn't massive so i was like, yeah this is ok, going to be fine, got through security and OH MY FREAKING LIFE, the queue for immigration quite literally had about 100+ people in line already ahead of me.... panic started to insue, but there was nothing i could do but stand and wait, stand and move forward a pace, stand, move, stand, move, like cattle and sheep being herded!! I was tapping my foot, 8:45am, tapping my passport and boarding card against my hand, 8:50- reading on my boarding card countless times "Your gate closes 20 minutes before departure" - So closed at 9:10am... i kept looking at it, staring at it, thinking it might magically change to "Don't worry Zoe the plane will wait for you we know you are in a queue" , stand, move, stand, move- I must have seriously looked like a dodgy character by this point i was getting so jittery (good thing i had already gone through security!!) and i was checking where my gate was and it said on a nice big blue sign "Gates 20-43 8min walk..." 8 MINUTE WALK!??? Panic has definitley settled in now and i am so close to begging everyone in front of me to let me go first, and then suddenly the queue started moving pretty quickly, and finally i got to the woman, quick check of the passport and off i pop, running like a looney toon, my trousers falling down, my bag over flowed with things holding it down so nothing fell out whilst holding my trousers up and trying to pull my top down, i haven't run since the Zombie Evacuation and if i can avoid it at all costs i do! Shouldn't have worried though as the 8min walk was obviously for gate 43 (they have to put the longest time on there DUUUUUUH!) and saw gate 23, 2min walk, still ran as by this time it was like 9:05am- and started freaking as i quite honestly had no idea how i would have gotten another flight to Lilongwe! Got down to the departure lounge and there were about 15 gates there, all with absolutelt tiny queues if any queue at all... and then one MASSIVE HUGE line of people, went to the front to follow it back from the gate, and obviously it was gate 23.... had no idea so many people would be going to Lilongwe but it was packed! We got on shuttle buses that took us to the plane and all crammed on, it was quite literally packed, some SA dude had been speaking to a Malawian woman and only caught tiny bits of their convo but when they got on the plane he asked if she wanted to swap seats because he was in 1st class! She looked pretty shocked and he just took her ticket out of her hand and gave her his and said ENJOY! Either a really lovely genuine man, or he was dodgy and didn't want to be sat there in case someone else was around or looking for him (i have definitley watched and read too many spy stories haha!) Sat next to a lovely guy again and chatted for a bit, got a huge meal which wasn't too bad at all, had a glass of vino and listened to some music and just chilllled and slept a bit more lol! Woke up before landing and soooo wish i hadn't! Coming into Lilongwe airport we dropped about 1000ft in the air and you could hear everyone go "Oooooooo---hahahahahaha" everyone laughing nervously at the fact we hadn't crashed and died! But we landed safely, and it couldn't have come any quicker as i wasn't feeling great by this point lol, and i cannot remember what the pilot said but he was an absolute joker- don't get pilots like him back home, great sense of humour! But then we all got off, and walked over to the airport entry and had to go through immigration first... now this is a TINY airport i mean TINY. 5 immigration desks, 2 only for foreign visitors and then one carousel. Two flights had landed.... Quite literally spent 40minutes waiting for immigration, when i got to the desk a little Q and A and then i had to have my photo taken, fingers and thumbs scanned on their machine!!!!! Like seriously!???? Not even Harare did this kind of thing, that was a quick stamp and pay and off you pop! Felt like a criminal without even doing anything! And then i got through to the carousel..... Oh my days..... Oh my life..... 2 flights had landed...LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE! I literally had to fight my way through people to even see the bloomin bags on the thing, and then people swinging bags off, people standing on your toes, bags hitting people in the face as people grabbed them in desperation, not wanting to have to stay there until it came round again. I started actually freaking a bit- What does my bag actually look like again? Thought the green tags my dad had put on would be a key indercator but when i went to grab one that looked kind of simialr in hindsight it was another womans! I mean really!? LOL. So not in the mood by this point, a bit trampled and slightly elbowed to the face- they did apologise a lot and me saying "Hey don't worry about it it happens, it's carnage here" and finally i saw CaribeeFasttrack... HUZZAH!!! Grabbed it, and got the hell out of there! Walked through expecting to see a Malawian man named Moses with my name on a sign to pick me up and ended up meeting Abbie whose job i was covering! Great stuff! I recognised her slightly from having looked at the BERL website so we got out of there i apologised for the delay and explained the immigration wait and carnage carousel and she said not to worry a wife had called her husband who was on the same flight as me and she had heard him say it was a nightmare lol! We got in the car and headed off for Lilongwe Capital. Was really nice to have a chat with her and get to know her a little bit better on the journey, it's probably about half an hour away from the city centre. She dropped me straight at Mabuya Camp where i was staying for the first 4 days before house sitting for her and her boyfriend Sam when they went back to the UK for 2.5 weeks. Met the owners who are really good friends of Abbie and Sams as Sam used to work there and got settled into my room. After a bit i figured i should text Mum and Sheena and let them know i got there safely.Decided to text my Aunty Nonie also just to do the rounds and make sure :-) ANGER INSUES. O2 you absolute pile of w*** s*** (apologies to my family for the language) but they really are a pile of w***. I asked O2 to cut me off on Monday 23rd Sept so i could have my phone to call and text on the day i got to Malawi to ensure i could let people know i was there. Suddenly "ERROR" "ERROR" "ERROR" every message i tried to send.... What the f***? Figured out exactly what had happened- they are a phone company after all! And by the time i had figured this out and went to buy a WIFI card to email them to tell them, they had run out!! I would be lying if i didn't say i didn't have a little moment in my room... let's leave that there, but arriving alone in a country you have never been, where they speak a completely different language and not being able to contact your family and tell them you are there safe... i wasn't worried about me i was thinking of my poor Mum! I knew she wouldn't be able to sleep that well that night (she probably slept like a log haha!) but it really got to me. So shook it off, figured there really is nothing i can do so just deal with it, got a glass (or 3) of wine and smoked myself silly before calapsing on my bed into sweet slumber. I woke up the next day at 6:30am as i had to start work with Abbie the day after i arrived and they start work at 7:30am. I had given her my mobile number when she dropped me at Mabuya obviously thinking it would still be working on the Monday- Another thing wrong!! Showered, got changed (after hanging my work clothes up the night before like a good little girl!) and went to the bar bit where there were loads of chill seats and got a bottle of water and had a ciggie.. started chatting to this dude called Dave who was from Oz and had been travelling Africa on his motorbike since May!! Awesome!! He was a really nice guy, and suddenly time got to 7:30-7:45-8:00 and he was like "Has she forgotten about you?" and i said no she can't have must just be me! Low and behold Abbie goes horseriding some days so starts at 8:30 some days and because she was leaving that Thursday she went on the Monday instead of the Tuesday. She had text me to tell me this but obviously i hadn't got it!! She had whats app'd Janey (one of the owners of Mabuya and her friend) to tell me also but bless her she had been up all night with her kids so forgot to tell me lol! All was well though she picked me up and we headed over to the office. We jumped straight in with a meeting that morning in their board room and if i am being 100% honest i cannot for the life of me remember what else we did on that monday... i am racking my brains trying to remember and i really cannot lol! I think that isn't completely unfair as starting work the day after a hellish travel into a new country, etc (making up excuses now!) but yeah, oh and the fact my Doxycycline was seriously playing up on me, whole body went tingly and my lips and i felt sooooo ill, NEVER TAKE DOXY ON AN EMPTY STOMACH!! After this day i decided to take it every evening after a full days worth of meals and i haven't had any issues since! So yeah... that was getting to Joberg and Malawi... now to catch you up on the last 2 weeks! I really need to start updating this more often i should know myself by now and not only do i word vomit when speaking i can write a short novel in the space of 2 days!! Will update the rest ASAP but this should keep my avid readers going for now ;-) Peace!! Xxx
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