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Full report to follow, but here's a quick update on the Bangkok leg of my trip as I board a bus to the north for a Thai-Norwegian wedding!
Top 3 embarassing moments:
Getting a motorbike taxi and holding on to the driver instead of the back of the bike like you're supposed to! The driver was too polite to say anything as I clung to his middle... But having my legs around an Asian man on the first day was a good start to the trip!
Before heading to my very first massage, I asked my brother if there was anything I needed to know. He told me to keep my underwear on. So I was led to my room and told "first you take shower". Here was my first issue... showering in my underwear seemed silly. So I stripped and jumped in the shower. Only to realise that my masseur had scarpered from the room, and that I simply should have waited for him to leave so I could shower in privacy. But anyway... I showered then put my pants back on and he returned. "ok mister take it off" "what?" "take off" "yes it's ok" "it's ok or you want me to?" "yes". So I got naked and had an amazing massage, and he only accidentally touched my bits twice! Luckily he wasn't a looker so I retained my composure at all times, but arguing with Asian men over keeping my pants *on* is a new experience for me! And his bum massaging was impressive!
And on Boxing Day we went to a gayclub in Bangkok where I drank copious amounts of vodka red bull (it tastes much nicer here and the Thais invented it apparently). When my brother and his bf went to the loo, an Asian boy began what can only really be described as grinding on me. Since it was rude not to, I reciprocated in only a slightly more respectable way. Then my brother returned and told me "if you go home with that one, you'll have to pay!" The moneyboy noticed that my Thai company would know this and said "nice to meet you. I leave." Lucky escape!
And there concludes my Thai misadventures, for now at least! ;)
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