Howdy Doody from a very happy young man! As I have realised I always say, it has been an eventful few days. I realised my last blog was a bit negative, so Im going to get my bungles/negativety out the way early, which are amusing for others I am sure!
1) In San Diego, I bought a bag of ice as I decided to be a rebel and drink them in my room AGAINST THE RULES! Well I fell asleep and left the ice on the floor. It magically melted and soaked about 5ft wide on the carpet, up into the german girls bags and wetting their passports. As I was leaving I gave them a cheery bye bye, and they b******ed me for about five minutes. I now know new german swear words.
2)I was walking in san diego, and made the mistake of moving slightly to my left and an old disabled guy b******ed me for not walking straight. I told him to "Get a life", I felt it was a bit harsh!
3) In LA I had my headphones on and sunglasses on waiting for tyhe bus in my own world. The bus pulled up and I went to get on, but didnt realise there was an old disabled woman waiting to get on. She went mad at me shouting that I didnt know the health and safety regulations. I put on my Hugh Grant Voice and said "Well clearly I don't", and she said they were (They?!) going to "Tear me a new ass". Everybody around her was shaking their heads. Again I felt this was a bit harsh!
4) Getting on the greyhound bus, I got my favourite trousers caught on the chair, and they ripped badly leaving half of me exoposed. I was gutted, I havent taken them off in four weeks, even to wash! :-(
5) And this is probably my least favourite. I was in LA getting a subway. The girl behind the counter was chatting away, and wished me a good trip, I cockily said "Yeah I will as soon as I get out of here!", messing around. I went to fill up my cup with drink from the machine with my hands full with bags. Did this and went to put ice in, of course the immense force of the ice tipped the cup back into my crotch, about a litre's worth. This was hugely embarrasing, and as the subway was in a laundry there were more people to find it hilarious! They were rattling away in spanish and pointing. I thought people in america stared alot but it is nothing compared to when your entire crotch is soaked. I may as well have had a kkk outfit on singing "Im a little teapot", and less people would have stared. Nitemare.
On with the blog! Well I was quite pleased to leave san diego in the end. I tried to hire a car, andc spent half the day at the airport qing up and shuttling back and forth. I was quoted $500 for the week and decided this was too much, so I hopped on a greyhound to LA at about 6. I booked 2 nights in a motel. Got there at about 10 after much merriment with my non-english speaking taxi driver. The guy at reception said I would like the tv very much. By this I took it he meant the free porn on 24/7. Ahem! Had a decent nights sleep and was up early to try and master the LA public transport system. I heard it was the worst in the country, and it was but I got the hang of it after a few hours. Had to get about 3 busses to get to Beverly Hills, but it was nice there. Not what I expected, but an experience! Got a long bus down to santa monica beach, it was lovely there. Went down the pier (A profile picture of somewhere I have been!), and soaked up the views and the rays for an hour or so. Got another couple of buses and found myself in holywood! Did a bit of tacky pressie shopping, and spent ages walking up and down looking at the stars. The first one I saw was Maraliyn Monroes, outside maccy d's, the way she would have wanted it Im sure! I walked for ages and eventually found Vince McMahon's one, it made my year. By the time I looked it was 8pm and time to go home. Got up the next day (Yesterday), and booked an Amtrak to Monterey. home of John Steinbeck. Of course I missed the train by literally 30 secs. (Damn you free porn, ha ha) I had to get one a couple of hrs later, which they didnt charge me for, but meant I had to get a bus from santa barbara. In my wait time I had a wonder and found Chinatown, which was an experience. It was just like how I imagine china to be, not a word of english anywhere. Got on the amtrak, it was so nice! Lots of leg room, lovely. Got chatting to a guy who owned a pub in britain, but this is a story for another day.
Well my time is running out so I have to cut this mid bore. I am in Montery atm, am planning on going canoeing tomorrow. More then!
Missing you all lots