We had been recruited to a mixed netball team which would take part in a tournament on Tuesday evenings for a few weeks. So called 'twilight netball' had been sold to us as a light-hearted affair with a few teams, just a bit of fun. Our first Tuesday arrived and Claire, who was on nights, dragged herself out of bed at 5pm especially for the great occasion. She gave Greg a quick outline of the rules which Greg decided not to listen to as it is a girl's sport, how hard could it be? If in doubt he'd just throw it over everyone's head.

Greg promptly went silent when they arrived at the small, social affair. It was, however, hard to see the small social netball tournament they'd signed up to amongst the 15 netball courts full to the brim with people of all ages either in the middle of games or warming up. It was not what had been sold to them. Rich, another Englishman duped into attending, appeared by their side looking equally as overwhelmed. Fortunately for Greg, he didn't know the rules either.

We made our way over to our team, made up of junior doctors, and were glad to find they were a little apprehensive as well. Although, on closer inspection, there did seem to be a lot of young men playing (including two gynaecology consultants from the hospital) on other teams who were equally clueless. Our team name was called for our first game and we frantically tried to allocate positions. We had forgotten bibs so a motley crew of players in different shirts went out onto court and immediately realised they had no idea where to stand. Claire, and the other girls who had played before, promptly started directing the boys on their positions.

Out of the mist a terrifying opposition appeared. I know what you're thinking, a team of giant Maori men and women in peak physical condition, matching uniforms AND knowing where to stand. Unfortunately it was worse...a team of 10-year old girls and boys. The tallest girl came up to Greg's belly button. The game kicked off, we hadn't been told we were playing a team of 10 year old international netball demi-gods. They moved and passed so quickly that if we ever did get our hands on the ball Greg had no reservations about just throwing it American football style to the other end of the court just to give us a chance...unfortunately that was against the rules Greg hadn't listened to. To everyone's surprise their young legs also allowed them to jump up high enough to intercept most balls headed Greg's way. To Greg's envy, it also soon became apparent that Hamish, one of the Kiwi guys on our team, had clearly played before as he exhibited his incredible post catch stance, not moving either foot even a millimetre.

After an unconvincing, but surprising draw, it was time to move on to play our second team. Now go back to your original thoughts, think a large (very large) selection of Maori men and women. Claire rarely got the ball as her entire body was eclipsed by the rear of her opposing player. Whilst Greg was trying to make friends with his opposition, a giant Maori man. They had somewhat interesting attire, with one of their centre court players wearing wellies and another with no shoes on at all. Needless to say, we managed to win this one, mainly due the lack of speed one can get up in a pair of knee-high Wellington boots. The whole event resembled nothing that Claire had been used to in the Bournemouth Netball League.