We arrived in Airlie Beach with our new bestest buds still in tow. Checked in to our new accommodation, which was a little way out of town, to find that we were sharing with a shady McDonalds worker that looked as if he wouldn't think twice about slitting your throat! Scary!!! Our first night in Airlie was spent slapping the Goon and checking out what the town had to offer in the way of nightlife. During the evening Gav discovered that he had something of an admirer from the Oz Experience bus and when we say admirer we mean psycho nutcase, who was the size of an Umpa Lumpa! She spent the night following him round like a bad smell and constantly saying how lucky she was to be in the company of such gorgeous guy! Chris came to Gav's rescue once again by stamping on the little dwarf and carrying Gav to safety! What a hero! We also got chatting to a Canoodian girl who gave us new nicknames by comparing us to A-list celebs, and apparently Chris looks the spit of Billy Zane, Gav - Johnny Depp, Loz – Colin Firth, Stan – Tom Cruise and Jess – Christina Aguilera! Then we noticed her reading a brail drinks list which explained a lot!The next day it was an early start and the beginning of our Whitsundays sailing adventure, and what an adventure it would turn out to be! We arrived at the harbour worrying that we may not have brought enough Goon - would 32 litres last us for a whole 2 nights?!?! - especially when everyone else seemed to be taking very little on board. We boarded the mighty Condor (our boat) to find that sleeping arrangement was somewhat cosy but it was all part of the fun. We set sail over to the Whitsunday islands and soon found out that we'd chosen the right boat because everyone was awesome. It didn't take long for Chris and his weight problem to come to the forefront of everyones attention as Kelly (old Irish hag) straight away pointed out that his belly had a little over hang and he was made to stand up in front of everyone in his very snug fitting stinger suit! What a sight! As the afternoon progressed the circle of trust began to grow a little quicker than Gav hoped, as everyone on the boat found out that he had brought a hairdryer on his travels and not one of the girls on board had! What a poof! We spent the afternoon snorkelling and the evening making a good start on our 32 litres of Goon whilst getting to know some wonderful new people, namely, Kelly (old, old Irish fecker), Isabelle and Helena (The Twins), Serena (good hair stroker), Mikey (unbelievably pale), Natalie (the onboard bike), Tom (the naked dutchman) and a load of Scandinavians in particular Patrick (swooon)!! Unfortunately the Goon soon took over and our camp tendencies were let out of the bag as well as the fact we both have Girls Aloud on our Ipods! The morning of day two was spent at the beautiful white sands of Whitehaven Beach and its amazing views. Like the kids we are we got ourselves suited and booted in our stinger suits (when no-one else was!) and headed off to play some cricket - where Stan was on his game with some mean, unplayable deliveries! What a true Yorkshireman! We then headed back to the Condor for a proper good lunch and an afternoon sail to our next snorkelling point on the reefs. It got to 6 o'clock and we were starting to get Goon withdrawal symptoms so we decided to crack open the next 4 litres - little did we know how the evening would eventually unfold! After some drunken chats and more getting to know each other we decided to start with some drinking games namely The Ring of Fire. We should have known it would turn nasty as Isabelle suggested it and she wasnt even drinking!! Basically the idea of the game is that every card is assigned a rule and everytime a card is turned over that rule has to be obeyed. It started off slowly with simple things like drinking two finger fulls but after two hours it ended up with everyone swapping Goon and saliva in a waterfall fashion, girl on man action, girl on girl action, man on man action, naked running around the boat, everyone having to lick Chris' tongue and Gav butt naked - what a night to forget but unfortunately the mental scars will be there forever!! Chris was just off to bed when a comment he made was taken the wrong way by a Norwegian kick boxer and his arse was severely kicked - did we mention she was a girl! What a pansy! The morning after we were informed that sober Isabelle had rigged the cards and had set us all up! We felt like throwing her overboard - the cow! Then it was off to dry land to nurse sore heads and catch up on some much needed sleep ready for the Condor Crew nite out back in Airlie. As most nights do it started off slowly but as the alcohol flowed we were all soon partaying hard and already reminiscing about the awesome two days we had spent together at sea! What an absolutely amazing trip- and to all of the Condor crew that have bothered to read this essay thanks for the superb memories!!

We arrived at Krombit Cattle Station feeling shattered after one hell of a bus drive from Airlie but looking forward to a bit of excitement on the bucking bull! The cattle station was remote and in the middle of the outback with loads of creepy crawlies lurking in the toilets and bed bugs a plenty! The evening was spent learning how to use a whip and trying to remain on a bucking bull for as long as possible - Gav managed 13 seconds while Chris could only manage 9 but he got extra points for his dismount!

The following morning we were up early and ready for a bit of goat mustering on horse back - it was proper Brokeback stylee! With neither of us having been on a horse before it was a bit daunting having to clamber on the big stallions but we soon got the hang of it. It was then onto some goat wrestling where Gav, Chris and Loz (The Goat Rapists) were victorious over every other team with and  an almost record time of 17 seconds to grab the goat, flip it over and brand its ar*e! We then had a bash at clay pigeon shooting where unfortunately we werent quite as good and we only managed 3 hits out of 10 between us!

Now off to Hervey Bay for our Fraser Island experience to begin..........