Oh. The overnight train from Hue to Ha Noi. How can I describe it to you?

I asked Chi, as I leaned against my birth, how many standards of accommodation are there on the train?

Three, he replied.

So, I guess this is the bottom one?

He fell about laughing. Genuine hysterical, sides-clutching belly laughs.

This is 1st class, he said.

Before collapsing into the bunk (I had the upper one, which was scary for Michael, below) I walked the full length of the train to the restaurant car. The array of ablutionary facilities would scare a French campsite owner. In the open seating someone had a birdcage full of song birds (this is an over night train remember). But the restaurant car itself was the jewel in the crown. Like the whole train, I'd say it was from the 1950's, and it was completely unrefurbished. Wooden panelled with communist era light fittings, and all the staff in ersatz military attire. It was like being on a film set of an oriental remake of 1984.

I had the rice soup, which was actually delicious and cost 20,000 dong, or 65 pence, and turned in for the night.