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Adrian Murphy's Challenge 2 - Who ate all the pies?
The Challenge - For one whole week (seven days) you must eat one food. Pie! This is for breakfast, dinner and tea, and any snacks you require. Any flavour pie is allowed. But nothing more than sauce and the occasional cheese slice are allowed to accompany this. Ok a more relaxed challenge. Who hates pies? everyone loves pies! surely there is no way I can get bored of pies. Surely my ingeious cullinary tallents will pull through and keep it interesting.
To clarify, I have discussed with Sir Adiran about the fine print in this challenge, so for you people out there heres the specifics;
-Everything appart from the sauce and the cheese slice must be INSIDE the pie
-Any variety of pie is acceptable
-Homemade pies are a bonus
Ok so a chance to show you people some of my Michelin star cooking skills, (because we here at "Tom's Aussie Facebook Challenges Inc." aren't all horrific alcoholics all the time). I have a few ideas, some crazy, not many sane, but I think the real challenge is when I need to eat food at work. What if the Microwave breaks? What if I move to another banana farm and they dont have a microwave? What if I get attacked by a glover bird again and it steals all my pies for the day? What if Coles RUNS OUT OF PIES?!!?!?! - these are serious things one must consider.
This is going to have to be a running entry, so keep your eyes peeled. I will be posting photos of most of my meals here that I have to eat. Expect many more pies coming your way.
-Day 1:
Breakfast - 3 Mini pies, 2 with a cheese slice on top accompanied by Sweet Chili Philidelphia. Breakfast was boring. I have been used to Bacon and Egg Sandwiches, or Banjo Sarnies as we here at T.G.A.F.C. like to call them. Still I ate them and enjoyed them. Raymond was like.. "WHAT DA HELL SON? WHY YOU DO DAT?" and I was all like... "It's a challenge homie" and he was all "WHAT YOU GET AT THE END CRACKA? MONIES? PRIZES?" and I said "Nothing" and then Adi was all like "he gets pride" and I nodded.
Lunch - Adi saved me on this one and decided to use up some of his remaining food to create a shepard's pie. So we went to Coles and came back and made a Shepards Pie the best we could remember, as we really had no idea what we were doing. 4 Cheese slices in the middle, and 4 cheese slices on top. Brilliant idea. The final product was tasty, however if anyone knows why Coles own brand value cheese slices turn orange in the oven please write to us and let us know why.
Dinner - Well this one was a massive gamble. The free soup kitchen has been known, on occasion to put on pies. Also, the dessert could have been a sort of pie. Well my life wouldn't be interesting if everything went according to plan, and it didn't. So there I was, standing because I didn't want to take up a seat for a poor homeless person because I wasn't eating. Instead I decided to occupy myself by getting all of the Crown Hotel drinks at the squash dispenser, to which they took the piss. But it kept me busy and made me feel less awkward....
-Day 2:
Breakfast - Nothing here! I decided to skip it and say f*** you to all those nutritionists (including myself) who believe that eating breakfast boosts matabolism and helps keep down weight, because at the end of this week I might be packing an extra 400kg of pie fat.
Lunch - Some more Coles pies. I also took the spare time I had to create a Carbonara Pie, as I am now missing out on Tight Arse Tuesdays at dominoes pizza and still want to fit in with the Italian b******s.
Dinner - The time has come for my first creation.... check this out... Carbonarapie! It was incredibly tasty! tasted like comfort food. Hana Ratcliffe kindly lended me a puff pastry top to cover the b****. The final result was a little dry, probably shou;d have added a bit more cream. Let it be known I missed out on dominoes pizza, and now I'm so stuffed I feel like a tactical chunder. Still it went down well with people who tried it, especially Giampaulo (Goeffry Peters) who said it was the best thing he's ever tasted outside of Sardinialand.
Day 3
Work today. This could go wrong...
Breakfast - 4 mini Coles Pies. everyone was munching away on their cereal, but I was there with a long face eating another f***ing pie.
Lunch - I took 3 Medium sized coles pies to work. Boy I was hungry. Turns out though pies give you stomach cramp when combined with stacking pallets.
Dinner - I couldn't be arsed to make a proper pie. I still had a cooked, yet burnt pie base from making the carbonara pie. So I used that and just put some Heinz Beef and Potato Curry on. Here it is
Day 4
Breakfast - again 4 coles mini pies
Lunch - 6 coles mini pies. I really fancied a banana at work to give me some energy, so the only thing I could do was ram them into the pies. and I did. The result wasn't all that bad
Dinner - Haruka decided to make me a pie, so I told her to make it Japanese. I don't know what it was, but it had chicken, potato and some random sauce. It was nice.
Day 5
Lunch - Skipped breakfast due to Thirsty Thursday hangover. One large Coles Pie.
Dinner - This one i was looking forward to. The back of the pie bases had a Bacon and Egg pie recipe, so I made it. It was Delicious!
And so I come to the Final Entry of this Challenge. During the evening, after several goons were skulled, I was making my way from the toilet when I saw the Krauts with a bunch of cheese slices. If anybody knows the story of the first rave in the jungle, James, Adi, Luca and I are addicted to Coles Value Cheese slices. So I follow them into the kitchen where they are making cheese on toast. And so I ate one. This is the point where my challenge failed. James remembered, and offered me a deal. Take $10 off his debt he owes me, or he tells Adi. I couldn't afford 10 bucks as I needed to go down the East Coast, so I let him tell Adi. And he wasn't all to pleased. To quote,
"You've let me down, let yourself down. You had public backing and yo failed. Our friendship is under evaluation!"
So I had to write an appology on his wall. It went something like this;
I, Thomas James Basford, would like to humbly and sincerely apologise for my failure of your Pie Challenge you set for me. The incredible lapse in judgement and concentration on my part led to me eating, of all things, a cheese slice on toast, which then caused the disqualification of your great challenge, "who ate all the pies?"
Whilst I write this apology, I am eating what I am going to call "The Pie of Shame" - as pies are the only food that I have to eat. This Pie of shame will forever be engraved in my mind, because I managed to get through 4 days of Pies, but due to my drunken behaviour I failed myself, and more importantly, I failed you.
I understand your disappointment in me, for I feel it too. You believed in me, you supported me through the hard times. I wouldn't have gotten to day 4 without you, yet I let you down. I also understand that our friendship is now under evaluation. I must accept this. I can only hope that someday, we can still be friends. I further understand that this day may never come. I can only hope that this chasm in our relationship will not hinder our great East Coast Adventure.
So, Adrian Murphy, I am sorry.
Thomas James Basford, s***head x
And so I fail another Challenge... Almost 5 full days with only 2 more to go.
Challenges Completed - 4
Challenges Failed - 2
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