Toronto, make up or break up?

So I move in Five sleeps ( yes I am six mom) destination Hafford Saskatchewan, population 450 (ish) ;)
Why? Because i'm impulsive and my mom didn't talk me down as i'm sure getting me half way home and out of the city is appealing on her part, had I said I was moving back to the yukon not sure she would have been so encouraging lol. So i'v been very bitter the last month or so living in Toronto and figured I may as well make the change while I have no attachments or I will never do it, at first I was going to put my stuff in storage and planned on coming back but then somehow the plan changed to selling my furniture and shipping my stuff...always good to have the freedom to not have to be tied down... so ya if I want I could go back west but now that it feels real I am already upset about leaving, there is just something to this city!

It's funny how I spent most all my 20's packing a bag and booking a ticket somewhere with little time to think it over and never had a care in the world, never looked back, only looked forward. When I said my goodbyes I didn't get teary eyed because I knew that home would be waiting but this time WOW!! I was walking with my roommate to go for dinner and a movie last night and kept finding myself tearing up and getting emotional about leaving everything and everyone. So with this fact alone I have not decided if i'm moving or going on a summer retreat lol. Through out the years I feel like I was always moving towards something, discovering more things and finding myself through these adventures but for the FIRST time I feel like i'm leaving something and leaving a big peice of me with it.

I will tell you that I am damn excited to see my sister and niece, it's been over three years. The last time I saw my niece I had her taking her first "crawl" bribing her with a phone ( must take after my sister) and over the years I got sent videos and photos and watched her grow into this beautiful little girl. Talking to her on the phone always amazes me how fast they grow up and I don't want her to not know her aunty "ChriSSina" I can't wait to see her and my sister.

So i'v spent alot of time just walking my fav areas of Toronto and find myself looking at all the ghosts of friends who i'v met here ( most gone as they were travellers)
~the Hide out ( with my what fifteen roommates being led by romdog)
~the fox and fiddle ( the hostel days, the munt house,The bouncer more so my own personal body gaurd, About a dozen different dates with different men lol... it was my own personal cheers
~the firkin... People watching on the patio with abbie...cider aful food lol)

for someone who doesn't get drunk much alot of my most visited spots were pubs lol hmmmmm!

You could say i'm confused right now, scared, excited, nervous, koo koo for coacoa puffs!
No matter what I need a break, I need to see family, I need to breath fresh air to have time to think, to focus on my goals, to get into doing some writing to get in touch with me and not all my surroundings...I always said if the city changed me I would leave... bah I don't know what I want at this point......
"if you love something set it free" maybe I shall let it go and end up coming back.... cast ur votes lol

Anyways.. so maybe I shall be seeing Toronto in a few months time again, maybe I shall be seeing Vancouver... vancouver would be ideal but yet something tells in my heart tells me this is where it needs to be, but I definetly do need to get away... so yes maybe me and Toronto arent breaking up yet.. just taking a break!