Oh god. I've failed miserably at keeping up with this "regular" blog about my Thai adventure. Though I guess between bamboo-rafting through caves, cartwheeling over canyons, endless hours squished into an overly air-conned coach seat, getting lost on bike rides locating the local "Monk on the Hill", hopping across the border to Myanmar for a last minute visa switch, crashing motorbikes, climbing mountainous temple staircases, camping beside the sea, Christmas parties and of course the week-consuming lesson planning, can you blame me…? (Sorry!).

So, new year, new blog - here goes!

I can't believe I'm half way through my little Thai experience now, I've survived! (Considering some of the dining options here, that's probably quite an achievement). It's definitely been the craziest, most challenging, most memorable, most exhausting and best experience I've had so far. On the school front, although standing in front of classes of up to 44 students feels very much like a 2-hour long performance to a large, expectant, teenage audience, I seem to have just about found my footing; my very important School Director strolled into my office one morning, announcing that all teachers had been observing me (oh god…) and now 'hated' me (OH GOD…) because he'd asked them all to adopt my style of teaching (wait, what?) because students were loving it (say WHAT!)! So after a few months of thinking I was just bumbling clueless through each week and still feeling my way around the system, this was unexpected to say the least! Felt just a teeny bit proud though

So after FINALLY getting all of my 600+ listening and speaking exams done for the first half of the semester, I am now officially a "badmintoner" (as an English teacher I feel I'm entitled to add a few words to the dictionary, OK?), joining a little after-school badminton club with some students and teachers (cue me a sweaty mess whilst they all prance around looking like they've just stretched a leg). I've also taken up running around the track in an effort to combat the CRAZY AMOUNT OF FOOD THEY KEEP FEEDING ME. Seriously, they are trying to fatten me up, I will be considerably lumpy when I return. Every lunchtime in the office I'm summoned to the table to feast on every kind of delicious rice platter, noodle dish, soup, or selection of fruit they'd each prepared that morning - who can resist, right?! (Though they love to sneak the odd "unknown" onto my plate to see my reaction - fish eyeball was the most recent. And no, I wasn't gonna be thanking anyone for that little joyful pop in my mouth).

I was once again taken out to a restaurant one evening with my department for a second welcome meal (they're very eager…), and for the first time I officially felt like I was a part of this teaching family. I've never had a job where I've felt so appreciated and loved! As per, I was plied with beer after beer - accompanied by some unnecessarily spicy food - and joined in with a very quaint little rendition of English nursery rhymes with the old male English teacher (who rarely speaks to me so this was a novelty!), whilst trying to appear normal as my eyes watered, nose dribbled and I slightly died inside. Damn chillies.

I've in trying to be a good "farang" and keep up with the customs while here, I've already been invited to 3 funerals, very different to our sombre ceremonies at home! On the coach rides it honestly feels like going on a school trip with a bunch of excitable kids, not a host of teachers going to see off a close friend/relative! They always take place at the home of the deceased, with everyone laughing and joking around and pop music playing in the background. The coffin is literally festooned like a Christmas tree in the corner, all neon flashing lights, gold-encrusted, draped in curtains of flowers and surrounded by burning incense and large gold-framed portraits. Monks chant and pray on little thrones whilst offerings of new robes and money are made. (Tried my best to copy everyone, which is hard when you instantly become one of the star attractions as soon as you step over the threshold, are grabbed by an excitable groups of middle-aged ladies and plonked down at the front, where you have to peer slyly behind you at what you hope are the right moments to see whether you should still by bowing/praying/chanting/ chatting…). They've got it right, though; a celebration of life is what it should be.

A few other little quirks of the Thai culture are probably worth mentioning too. Mothers cruise along on motorbikes with toddlers strapped to their back, one hand on the accelerator and babies casually hooked under the other, and whole families balance on one bike like a circus act with the laundry basket nestled on the handlebars. I mean, seriously, health and safety, what! Also, homosexuality here is so refreshingly accepted and embraced, it even seems desirable. "Ladyboy" is more often used to label the campest boys in town. They're by far the most confident and outspoken of the lot, and THE most popular crowd in school - maybe because of this they are often my best English students too. I actually think my first proper conversation with my students involved a group of them prancing gaily into my office, parking themselves daintily in front of my desk, and informing me in their little high soft voices which in the group were "ladyboy" and which were "lesbian" - wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that…"Um, congratulations…?"! There are, of course, many of the surgically-enhanced ladyboys too, way more glamorous than many of the women I've met! Loud and proud, daaahling, simply FAHBulous.

Despite being a 5 hour bus ride from our nearest western-teacher-friends (actually relatively close considering the size of this country!), the American girl Kris and I have been busily planning weekends away with everyone when we can. In November, we celebrated Loi Krathong, the festival of the new moon, stalking Chiang Mai's beautifully-lit riverbanks swamped with street vendors selling Chinese lanterns and lovingly woven "loi krathongs" (floating lanterns), ready to be sent downriver to welcome in the new moon. We set our own lanterns alight to join the thousands already accompanying the stars in the sky with their little fiery orange glows, and spent the night watching the sky lit up with fireworks (whilst trying to avoid getting a fire cracker in the head from the local kids, see what I mean about health safety?), along with parades of beautiful Thai's geared up in their traditional, bejewelled outfits and headwear - stunning.

9 hours spent on 3 different buses - a slight underestimation of travel time there - was totally worth our weekend in Sukhothai, the ancient Thai empire's old capital. Forget the postcards. The sun setting over the ruins of the old city and the remnants of its giant Buddha's (may have been told off for cartwheeling in front of one but you can't have it all) was breath-taking. We also managed to stumble across a local school's ethereal performance of their Thai history amid the glowing lights of the ancient temples' pillars. After which the evening culminated in a session of corny line-dancing in the streets with a very eager ladyboy who insisted I partnered with him. Only in Thailand.

On a more schooly note, "Teacher Stephanie" has been invited on 4 school trips already with my students - a pretty sweet way of seeing Thailand for free! I can now tick off my list The Golden Triangle (where Thailand meets Laos and Myanmar), the busy Maesai markets on the border with Myanmar, The Hall of Opium (for medicinal use only, of course…), my province's "swamp" (a very unrepresentative label given it's a huge, serene lake where we were punted to a tiny island temple on a local long-boat), Phayao temple (picture a hilltop monastery reached by a long, winding, crumbling, stone staircase echoing something out of Indiana Jones), Chiang Rai's famous and striking White Temple, and an oolong tea plantation. Long journeys made all the sweeter (a hell of a lot worse) by the constant howling of my darling students down the microphones on the bus karaoke systems… and through much field observation and in-depth analysis, I have come to the unhappy conclusion that THAI PEOPLE CANNOT SING. SERIOUSLY. Stop. Please.

Meanwhile, I'm still loving my little Thai village home from home and its beaut of a surroundings. A little bike ride to find the 'Monk on the hill', with no other direction but to "aim for the distant hill visible from my house", resulted in a great little find - we may never have found the hilltop Buddhist but we did stumble upon Chiang Muan's 'mini canyon'. Totally worth the flat tyre I achieved. Felt like I'd really found the Thailand I'd been looking for.

Thailand does have one fault, though: Christmas. It's no big deal here for these Buddhists. Santa bypasses this little South-East Asian corner of the world. So, although nothing beats a cosy Christmas at home, and with all of us feeling a tad nostalgic and crimbo-craving, Kris and I organised a Crimbo party at my cabin with my Thai teachers and the rest of the northern teacher chums the weekend before. And mention party to a Thai person, they come a-running! I got a very early and very eager delivery of table, chairs, karaoke set and projector, BBQ, decorations, alcohol (generously donated by my landlady too), and a whole Santa-sack full of Xmas lights that morning - I definitely used up about 90% of the village's power supply for the month. (There was a power cut the following week which I can probably explain…). It's safe to say we brought Christmas to my village, though! The kids played my 'pin the nose on the reindeer', made balloon animals and learnt how to play 'pass the parcel', whilst the adults sang karaoke and drank (A TON) of beer and rice whisky. The BBQ was a complete novelty to the excitable Thai teachers so we set them to work on fixing up the kebabs (which had NOTHING on a trad English roast but I'm in Asia, guys!). My advisor also amazingly managed to dig out a Christmas pudding from Tesco and for once it was THEIR turn to try some of MY native food muhahahaaa…though it wasn't quite a hit, sadly… Oh and while dancing on my veranda, Kris fell through my floor. I guess we ended the night with a bang.

So although I was technically supposed to be teaching on actual Christmas Day (eurgh), I was lucky to be invited on a school trip down south with Kris' school that week. Which actually resulted in around 80% squished on a coach (with the beloved karaoke), a whizz-stop zoo tour, theme-park visit, beautiful garden visit with majorly depressing elephant rides (next travel adventure: wildlife conservation projects), late-night session in a VIP karaoke bar with a ladyboy, and Christmas night unexpectedly sleeping in a tent beside the sea after a drunken night of digging in the sand for crabs (next week's dinner) and fully-clothed dips in the sea. Not quite how I've spent most Christmases, but definitely memorable! Then it was back on the bus at 6am heading up north to Pai, a beautiful mountain town not quite ransacked by tourists yet, to spend New Year with my northern pals and stay in, get this, a hilltop circus school! Think waterfall plunges, canyon scrambling, caving on bamboo-rafts led by a lantern-wielding imp, shrivelling in hot springs whilst the locals boiled eggs in the next pool, morphing into pretzels at hilltop yoga classes and watching hippies juggling with fire whilst strolling along the tightrope. And the New Year was seen in dancing around the campfire, with a 360 degree view of firework displays in the valley below, watching the backpackers launching balls of fire around their heads.

2014 is one to remember.

Happy New Year, all, and here's to the next 3 months! xxx