Buongiorno, my dears.

We are home now, so this last entry is coming to you from our side of the pond. I'm sorry for the delay my lovelies, but, as it turns out, there's this thing called jet lag....and, because I'm old and get tired easily, I contracted "old lady jet lag" which, I would like to point out, is much much different from "young teenage jet lag." And, although I specifically requested that the Universe please hold all calls, emails and bills to clear my schedule for easy re-entry, it failed to oblige. So, things have been moving a little slowly over here. But we are together now, aren't we? And that's what counts. 

Our last day had us travelling North, back to Rome (via Pompeii) for our flight home. I have included pictures below but no descriptions. I did this on purpose so that the next time we see each other we will have something to talk about. 

So, when the conversation goes like this:

YOU: "Hi."

ME: "Hi."

YOU: "How are you?"

ME: "Fine, and you?"

YOU: "Fine, thanks."

...........Long, uncomfortable silence.........

Then you can say:

YOU: "Oh my gosh! Tell me about Pompeii!"




Having had a little time to think about our trip, I realized that I actually learned quite a bit (but I was expecting to learn a lot from travel.) I expected to learn what Italians eat for breakfast. I expected to learn how to catch a cab-train-plane in another country. And I expected to learn some basic Italian survival words and phrases like:

"Hello!" 
 
"Where is the Mercedes?"
 
"Why is the wine gone?" 

and the oft used:
"I'm-sorry-we-pulled-the-shower-cord-thingee-but-we-are-fine----really."

It's a strange thing, this learning and discovery; Sometimes what you set out to find is not what you actually discover. Just like some of life's greatest discoveries are by accident, so too were mine:

- I learned that people "over there" are really no different from people "over here." Some of them just dress a little nicer. 

- I learned that certain things are universal and that a smile and dash of gentle kindness works WONDERS on even the snarkiest of trolls. 

- I learned that Mercedes are really nice on the inside too. 

- I learned how to ASK FOR HELP. Now, most of you mastered this simple task a long time ago, but I've been a little slow on the uptake here. And, if you know me (even a little), you have suspected this deficit about me for years but were far too kind to mention it. For me, asking for help meant that I was incapable of accomplishing a task on my own (so this, of course, meant that I was weak.) Asking for help meant that I didn't understand how something worked, so I was stupid (Yes, I am familiar with the semantical difference between "ignorant" and "stupid".) Asking for help meant that I might need something from someone, and that might, somehow, mean that I was no longer the independent, strong woman I believed myself to be. (You may all send your therapist referrals to my @gmail.com account.) Here's the thing I learned though -- Asking for help says NOTHING about you. Except, I guess, that you need some help. You actually don't disintegrate or collapse into a pile of rubble and nobody revokes your college degree! However, if you ARE willing to ask for help, then something sort of magical happens - you make contact with another human! And, as it turns out, these humans LIKE to help you. It makes THEM feel good. And useful. Think about the last time YOU helped someone. With anything. Didn't it FEEL GOOD? Didn't it make you feel like you helped the planet become a little bit kinder? A little bit nicer? A better place to be?  

 So, ask for help. If you won't do it for yourself -- do it for THEM. 

 
- I learned to rely on the kindness of strangers. They still exist (those kind ones) and, it turns out, they are everywhere. I would wager that they also exist on this side of the Atlantic. Sometimes it might not appear this way at first, but if you look them in the eye and hold their gaze, for just a teensy second (like using the Force), they will REMEMBER to be kind. The fog clears and they see you in a different way. They are reminded that we all belong to each other and they tend to behave accordingly.

- I learned that sometimes it's better if you leave your map at home. And your travel books. All of your travel books. The ones people loaned you and the ones you painstakingly researched and then purchased. The ones you were SO looking forward to reading on the plane. And then tell people you MEANT to do it that way. 

-I learned that most of us need to learn how to live. Like Italians? Not necessarily, but we should all be LIVING. I found that Italians seem to really know how to LIVE. They are AWAKE. And living their moments as we all should: in appreciation, in joy and with love. And with that highly sought-after "Joie de vivre." 

Taking a trip is like pushing the pause button on our fast-paced and frenetic lives. This works wonders on the soul. Sure, it's easy to do on a vacation, but, it turns out, that you don't actually have to leave your house to do it. So, wherever you are, push pause. As often as you can. Take a moment and hold someone's gaze longer than you normally would. Leave your map at home. And, for goodness sake, go find a gelato and a fountain to sit by. I'll meet you there.....
 
Ciao!