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Well we are down to our final 6 weeks of the trip now and already i'm sad about the thought of leaving. It's been amazing so far and I know we have still so much more to do and see. I'm led on the bed whilst my body tries to regain some of it's former self. I feel like I've been beaten, battered and bruised this last week. It's been a tough one to say the least and consists of stair sprints, weights, jellyfish, douches, horrid hill sprints and more hard Muay Thai training.
I've been doing weights with Peter and Scott now for a while, Scotts been talking about supplements and all sorts of other goodness to put back in our bodies after hard training. He was kind enough to buy me a tube of Berroca drinkable vitamins. I've been taking them the last week and although it does make your pee go a florecent colour it's actually very good. So thank you Scott. We had just finished lunch one day and I needed some sugar so we decided to grab a cornetto and go find He-Man. I walked past the gym and I thought I would pop into to see Peter about that nights routine. As soon as he saw me and layed eyes on my very tasty black forest fruits cornetto he gave me the most dissapointed look a master could give his apprentice. I felt bad straight away whilst I continued to eat it in front of him. He told me I can not eat ice cream if I want to trim up. I justified myself and explained I might only have 2 a week and he seemed slightly eased by this but still not impressed. He went on to say that magnums are better and he does have a cheat day when he is training for a competition but he normally does it in hiding away from prying eyes. So I said to him about joining him and Scott that night and he just told me nope as I've sinned. I walked away with my tail between my legs like a naughty dog. Later that night I turned up to the gym and the first words that came out of his mouth were "cornetto" as he shook his head and laughed about it. Half way through the circuit he told me I have cornetto power. See, some good did come out of it in the end and he did fogive me but still mentions it now. After a hard work out Scott and I went for the 6k run around the block to finish the day off. All the different smells you get from around the run is interesting, varying from scooter engines, dirty diesel trucks full of hard worked Thais and mystery meat stalls on every road. Nothing like fresh Phuket air. I do miss the Cotswold fresh air from home. Maybe I should bottle some and sell it here?
Time is running out here so it was time to ask about getting that fight sorted that some of the trainers seem eager to get you to do. I asked the head trainer at intermediate class and he told me to head up to the fighters ring that afternoon. The fighters ring is the place where people get prepared for up coming fights and the level of competition there is a lot better and more challanging. I was a bit nervous as I've seen some of the guys training in that area and they are some nasty, dangerous men, but steel sharpens steel as the saying goes. There were 3 other guys in the ring too with one of them being a Scottish chap called Jimmy. I've heard about him and seen him around and I've heard he is very good. It was nice to be training with people who are at a higher level than you as it brings out the best in you and you can learn a lot from getting beat up a bit. The 2 trainers at that ring were very welcoming and asked the routine questions "how long you here and where you from?" and seemed happy to except me into there gang. It was a tough session as it's all about fight prep and more realistic drills for fighting instead of just running through the motions. A lot more of what I need if I'm going to fight against a thai guy. Session finished, 3 new friends and 2 new trainers added to the list. Time to relax for the weekend.
Saturday morning started off as manly as any other Saturday morning should...watching Marly And Me!! For any dog owners it's a must, although a little sad, it's a great film. I think James had something in his eye or kept going into the room to try and find out what it was in his eye. A great way to start the weekend. We grabbed a few guys and hit the beach. Even though a tsunami warning was present it did not put us off going for a dip and catching some more rays. We happened to meet a few other lads from the camp there too so we hung out together for a bit. On the way into the sea just led there chilling in the sun was the biggest jellyfish I had ever seen. Again, being the hardy Brits we are, we jumped straight in and attempted to catch some waves but the sea was a bit odd for games that day, maybe the tsunami warning was real after all, well, it played on my mind why the sea was like it was. Just about to head out the water and up popped another jellyfish aiming straight for James. I didn't know people could get out of water that quick to be honest and trust me we didn't stay around to play with that slimmy fella either as I don't want my mates getting an excuse to piss on me. Simple really. We headed over to the next beach along to do some stair sprints that He-Man wanted to do and to justify me having the morning off training I thought I would join in too and Captain Jack did aswell. We arrived at these steps and when I got to see how big they actually were I did question what I was about to do and even thought how could this be legal or even healthy to a man like me. Just walking down the steep steps took a while and I felt the burn already. As we hit the bottom He-Man explained we had to sprint up them 10 times!! Him and another chap shot straight up there as quick as rats up a drainpipe but me and Jack Sparrow were a bit slower but we did it. On the way back down my legs were already starting to shake....9 more times I thought to myself. Let's just say they didn't get easier and my legs actually were shaking so hard I could barely stand. The last one we did was hard and when we all got to the top I think we all felt it. Legs all shaking like a s***ting dog, excuse the rudeness but it's true. That was tough work, James did take a couple of pics on Jacks camera so one day you might get to see the stairs of death. Jumped on the scooters and convoyed home to get cleaned up for our night out to the cinema and food.
So that evening we all headed into Central Festival for some Japaneese food and a Swensons ice cream. It was so so good and we all sat round like 8 little kids and enjoyed some good banter and ice cream. We then headed up to watch Prince Of Persia. I think He-Man actually fell asleep at one point but I didn't think it was to bad at all. James had a green looking Fanta which I have seen some of the trainers drinking and I think the sugar gave him a bit of a rush as he seemed a bit more hyper than normal. We all said chow and headed home. At a set of traffic lights a bit further down the road we all happend to roll up at the same time and it felt like a scene out of a biker movie, just with scooters and tank tops instead of choppers and big beards. All raced off at the green and stayed in convoy weaving in and out of the traffic. Most of us stopped outside our place and ended up chatting for another hour whilst getting chewed on by blood sucking midgits with wings and sharp teeth, apparently they are mossys or something but i prefer my description. We must of looked like some gang or something as a few shadey looking cars drove past very slow and looking very suspicious. We arranged to all meet up at 1am at our place to watch the England game. We all headed to the 7/11 for snacks to keep us awake for the game. Well what a waste of a nights sleep that was hey.
Sunday we chilled in the pool for a few hours just chatting to all our new friends and having a laugh and trying to enhance my wisdom tan. I actually have a tan line around my waste now which is quite something for Mr Milkybar Kid. That evening James and He-Man headed for a massage from the blind people. I think James explained it as a beating more than a massage. They then headed for an oil massage at our local place. He-Man actually got offered a happy endings massage but turned it down. There is only a curtain seperating you from the next person. I'm sure there are many other reasons he declined but it's still all very odd to me and I'm sure James wouldn't of appreciated it either being led next to him between a thin curtain. I'm glad I stayed and watched Top Gear that night. We went over for dinner and sat with Dave The Hand Grenade Canade. Marcus, you have not been replaced my freind do not worry. He is also known as the guy that shoots everything but i'm sure he doesn't really.
Monday morning and I needed a bit extra sleep as i've not been sleeping great the last few nights, think the air con is not agreeing with me. I don't agree with it either so the feeling is mutual. I headed to the gym instead of Muay Thai and as I walked past the fighters ring the main trainer Moo shouted at me "why you not train" and I explained I had no sleep and would be there that evening without fail, he was happy with that. Went to relax in the pool after but Satans spawn was in there also. He is about 7-8 years old and an American douche bag. The only way to describe him is a little s*** bag. He hassles everyone and annoys everyone. At one point he was playing with the Brazilian Bomber when the Bomber came out with "are you a boy or a frickin rat". Let's just say we all ended up nearly crying with laughter. The little b***** decided to start throwing a bottle around the pool. It hit me in the back of the head and I was going to go find his evil mother and let her know that her spawn is a s*** bag but she was not there no longer so I expect she was dealing with her other gobs***e daughters at the time. Douche bags the whole family. We all sat for lunch and enjoyed some more chit chat and banter as He-Man would say. Back to the training ring for more hard work and a good spar. The lessons are great as it's only a couple of us and they push you hard. All there little techniques are so different from stuff back home. That night UFC was playing at Tonys so we all headed up for the BBQ and fights. We have realised actually how many douches there are around at the moment. Captain Jack from Newcastle became one the other night as he decided to wear a USA top. He was the first of our group to be enrolled at doucheville. Also the other thing we are finding very amusing right now is the fact we saw a painting in Patong a while back with The Joker from Batman on with the words "why so sebious" painted underneath. Now for all those people that know the Batman film you will know that is not quite what he says, so we are finding great humour in this. Simple things are amusing us so much right now. I think it's down to being hit in the head so much.
Tuesday is clinch day all around the camp along with Thursdays. These by far are the most demanding and hard sessions as it's really quite physical and punishing on the body, especially the neck and shoulders, let alone being smashed with knees in the ribs. As said before I'm now training in a new ring with new guys. Jimmy the Scottish lad was the only one there Tuesday morning and I knew I was in for a tough session with him. It's almost a private lesson to be honest and normally you have to pay extra for those. We did 3 rounds of full power clinch work and 40% knees. Half way through your shoulders and neck are starting to stiffen up and arms are loosing power. There are so many little sweeps and trips the Thais use in there clinch work, it's like a whole fight in itself. It's hard work. Jimmy is fighting on Monday on the same card as Andrew (He-Man) so the training is extra tough at the mo trying to prepare him for his fight. I also have my fight in 3 weeks so it is good conditioning for me along with learning all the little bits that come with the clinch game. That evening I missed the muay thai lesson and hit the gym for a good workout. After this I met up with Andrew and Danny (crazyfrog, nick frost) and we ran over to death hill for some hill sprints. Now this hill is around 50-60 meters of steep, horrid dirtyness. He-Man told us we had to try and make it all the way to the top 5 times. Now that does not sound alot to be honest but you need to see the hill, it's steep! We started our first one, half way up you feel like your legs are on fire, danny stopped, I kept going until it became a slow jog until I finally stopped three quarters of the way up whilst He-Man made it all the way to the top. The walk back down was almost harder as your legs just want to give way and you just want to roll back to the bottom. The next 3 attempts ended the same way but I said that the last one was going to be the one where we have to all get to the top regardless of how long it takes. I managed to push it all the way to the top slowing right down towards the end, Andrew was the same and Danny also managed to battle his way to the top only taking a short break to regain his breath. Very happy with pushing through the pain boundry. Next time we are aiming for 2 times to the top. Then we took a steady jog back to camp for a good stretch off before grub. We all headed over the road to our local for some grub then we all piled in ours to watch a DVD. A good night sleep was needed after that days training.
Today has been a demanding day once again. This morning was boxing sparring and drills with just me and Jimmy once again. To finish off we had to do an exercise that consists of biting a bit of pipe with a few weights attatched and use our neck to lift the weights. It's to strengthen the muscles in your neck and around your jaw. It hurt is all I will say. The evening was muay thai sparring with clinch work added in also. This is when they mentioned about getting a date for my fight. They said it would be around the 2-4 July. So this gives me 3 weeks to get ready for it. As soon as you know you are finally going to get a chance to fight your brain has a mental shift and you start to think about different openings in sparring etc. It's a funny feeling and I look forward to pushing myself hard and seeing how well I cope mentally and physically when it finally comes to crunch time. I know I have a lot of hard training ahead of me now and I'm going to be pushed harder than I have ever been. I look forward to the challenge. James is looking to fight on the next BBQ Beatdown so he also has his own mental and physical challanges to deal with over the next few weeks.
So again this is a long one but you should know what to expect from me by now. Over and out. Let me know how your all doing and I hope everyone is well. Peace. Stu.
- comments
Captain Jack To complete the story i have now returned from doucheville!! Safe.
George Another great blog mate, its good to hear that your still enjoying it and pushing yourself, fair play to you i dont think i could keep up with even half of what you are doing! make sure you get plenty of pics and possibly even a video of your fight, it would be good to see what it is really like out there!
laura i think you'll find i introduced you to berrocca before you left this green and pleasant land!!! oh how the memory fades!! lol xx
Stu Laura, I know you did but I didn't even think about it until Scott bought me it. Your better of course though lol. Cheers George. There will be a video of the fight and pics I'm sure. It's great here bud, hard work but great. Jack.....your a douche, but your excepted.
The big sister Faye Hey Bro, Love reading your posts. I have a few comments..... 1. Marley and me? really?! I think its mum that said you become like those you hang around and I think the he/shes maybe getting to you. Just a thought....you big blouse! 2. I don't think cotswold air in a bottle is gonna make you a million. Bottled cow pooh really isnt a good idea. (health and safety...blah blah blah) Missing you and have to say I feel really nervous about your fight so you must be crapping yourself! Whats the set up for the fight? How does one win? (mum don't read this bit). Try and get a video if you can. Gosh just realised I go on a bit dont i?! Sorry. Love you millions. Stay safe and away from the jelly fish. Big Sis x
Heather Too late Faye, It's ok though-I am happy for Stu and know that he will give it 120%. Can't promise to watch the video Stu, I'm a bit of a wimp. However, kick ass and know that I'm rooting for you. xx
Stu I love you guys. Faye, your a douche! Marley is a great film and real men watch it. Your the blouse. As for the air, I miss the Cotswold poo smell, it's homely. About the fight, one wins by knocking the other guy out, referee stoppage, judges decision or the guy gives up. I'm aiming for the first 2. It's full contact, no protection except gloves and a gum shield. You can keep questioning my manlyness but I can tell you this....you need balls to do it and it hurts. Will be getting a video of it and pics no doubt also. I'm not nervous yet but I'm getting my fight head on already. Mum, you should watch it, will be good for you to see my amazing tan. Much love guys. Miss you all xx
faye Come on! Next blog! A douche?! Bet you wouldnt say that to my face? You may be buff now but I would still kick your ass! ha ha. Did you cry at the end of Marley and me?... real man eh? bless your cottons! Feeling very scared about this fight. You really have to do it? Its really gonna hurt. You may need to take off those false nails that we all know you love so much? Oh and whilst im on one...You...a tan?! Wooooohhoooohaaahaaaa yeah right stu! Your as white as a snow man! Keep up the good work though bro. Your on quite a little journey there. Thinking of you lots and me (and my grubby car) miss you lots. Mwah!! xxx
Stu Faye, your a queen douche. Yes I want to fight. It's going to hurt but i already know that silly, what do you think I do? Just play fight? No I did not cry at the film, but it did bring back sad memories. Anyway, real men cry. My tan is amazing, look at my recent picture of me sat on the sofa in my blue shorts....I actually have colour for the first time, it's amazing haha. Miss you too sis xxxx
Holly berrocca is brilliant! Loving the updates also! xx