I'm going to throttle my iPhone. Set the alarm for 7am to get a bright and early start. Stupid phone thinks it's still in Spanish waters which are 1 hour ahead of Portugal. Not being the brightest matelot on the crew it took me 15 minutes to work out, by which time I was up and ready to go. You have no idea how deserted a cruise ship is at 6.15 of a morning. The ship docked at Leixios near Oporto at 9am and we were suitably impressed with the efficient organisat...

We were warned that it was going to be a choppy crossing of the Bay of Biscay and were not disappointed. It seemed like everything in the cabin rattled - earplugs were very handy for that and I couldn't hear if Ian was snoring either. After breakfast first stop was to the gym to collect our pedometers and gym guide. The further you walk the more points can be gained to go towards treatments and hairdressing in the spa. So we set off round deck 7 - 650 paces - an...

Check in was effortless - if only airports could be so calm! It does help having an army of porters ready to take your luggage straight to the ship. Arriving at midday gave us the opportunity to explore the ship before having to unpack. Lunch in the Conservatory was very good - a wide choice of hot food, fruit, salads and sandwiches made to order. Our first impressions of the Oriana - gentle old colonial feel to it; several bars/lounges and restaurants and airy...

Writing this blog in order to avoid the packing carnage upstairs where every available floor and bed space is littered with clothes, shoes, luggage, toiletries, Mc Vities digestives, camera, ipad, binoculars etc etc. The donkey to carry the luggage is tethered outside - not you Matt! The squirrel has had his nuts removed because he's pinching them from the birds! All the loos have been bleached - God help anybody who wants a poo between now and tomorrow mornin...