9/17/06 Mullets, rat tails, and cigarettes. Madrid. Ahhh, Madrid. I would have to say that this is the most beautiful city I've been to with Oaxaca as a very close second. The architecture is amazing and I find the people here fascinating. The men, to your surprise, I'm sure, are not very attractive in general though. Then again, I have peculiar taste. Also, when in love (so lame), I rarely find anyone attractive. The women though- goddamn, there are so many attractive women here. I gawk at them all the time. Not because I'm gay (I know what you're thinking), but because I am fascinated. And they have some weird and funky styles that I am intrigued by. Agh, they probably think I'm a creep. Oh well. I also noticed that people stare at me all the time. I don't know if it's because they can tell I'm foreign, or because Spaniards weird like that, or because they think I'm hot. I wonder. I had heard last year that mullets had made a comeback in Europe. I didn't quite believe it. I mean, why in the world would anyone want a mullet? Anyway, the mullet is, in fact, back in full force here in Madrid. There are many variations and they cut across race, gender, age, and class barriers- from old Spanish ladies to little Dominican children. Some are subtle, some are extreme, others are dyed, some are even curly! Ew. There are some, however, I am surprised to say, that are kind of trendy and chic. The rat tail though, that is a different story. There is no excuse for that. The bright side about the mullet is that I no longer have to fear the awkward mullet stage when I grow my hair out. I think that is a common fear among woman. Anyway, enough about the mullets. Let's move on to cigarettes. Unfortunately, I have taken up casual smoking. My new rule- smoking only while abroad. It's so hard to avoid. Everyone smokes here. It's so tempting when drinking a beer or a cup of coffee. Not only that, smoking is kind of a companion. When I get a little lonely, I'm like, "I'll just smoke away my loneliness." I'm sorry, I am sure you all are very disappointed in me. I admit, I suck. So these Spaniards really know how to party. This weekend alone wiped me out. Friday we all (fellow scholars) wandered around the city drinking beer at various locations. Saturday I went out with these two chicks I became friends with. One is this really funny Jewish girl from Pennsylvania and another is a girl from Colorado. The initial plan was to simply have dinner and a few drinks since we were exhausted from the night before. However, after dinner, some woman on the street promoting some club lured us in with promises of free shots. How could we turn down free shots? That would be absurd. So we get there and they give us shots that taste like goddamn Kool-aid. So then we started buying real shots and one thing led to another and we ended up staying there until 4 am. Anyway, so we left and tried to figure out how to get home on the nocturnal buses. I was amazed that the streets were full of people. I mean, by this point it's almost 5 am. Holy s***, these people party all crazy. I even saw some old people out at that hour! Freaking 5 am and these 70 year olds are barely going home. Agh, I love it here. Yeah, so I got home at 6. So Sundays, everything shuts down. I woke up at some ridiculous hour and hunted for coffee and food but everything was closed! This country is bizarre. Anyway, I eventually found a place then just wandered around the neighborhood I want to live in to see if I saw any "for rent" signs. I also just walked around, sat in a park, had some coffee, wrote in my journal etc. This life is fabulous. This is what it will be for the next year. I only work for like 16 hours a week and get Fridays off. What a sweet deal. (Thank you, U.S. government, for sponsoring my year of debauchery.) I've just realized how I've had an great life up to this point. I've had some amazing experiences. I'm only 22 but I feel like I've really lived it up. I get to live in freaking Madrid for year! I get to live abroad like a rich white girl. Ha! Ok, I need to lay off the tortilla espanola before I get a heart attack. My cholesterol is probably through the roof by now. Who knew that potato and egg could be so good? In general, I need to stop eating so many damn tapas. Agh, and the beer. People drink beer at lunch even. It's so tempting to drink one all the time. I will control myself though. I promise. Moving on, I finally got a cell phone which is so eighties the graphics look like that Oregon Trail game from grade school.. I'm a cheap b******. I am also currently in a desperate search for an apartment. This is making me nervous. I didn't think it would be so hard. I feel homeless. I hope to find one this week. Pray for me. I'll feel so much better once I find a place. Then I can really get down to business and write some deep s***. I think I will be producing really great work here. Goddamn, this is like every writer's dream. I do miss home but I am doing better than I thought I would. I think I'm getting used to it with all the traveling. There is a certain Pakistani fellow that I really do miss though but god bless technology for making him seem a little closer. I think I've spoken to him everyday since I've been here. The homesickness will really kick in eventually and some of you may get a phone call from me crying at some point. Don't be alarmed, this is perfectly normal and I'll get over it. In general, I am very happy here. I feel incredibly independent and I am living the life I've always wanted. 9/18/06 So I wandered around the city again looking for an apartment today. I was wearing heals like an idiot, it was hot, and people kept giving me the wrong directions. *Grunts* I was starting the get depressed after having seen two wretched apartments. They were so wrong for me. Then I went to see this other apartment in the heart of the city. I would say the neighborhood is the equivalent of that area in New York near Central Park. It's perfect. I have never really lived in a classy neighborhood so I am so excited. My room is bright, enormous, and has a huge window overlooking the street. I think I'm going to get a lot of writing done there. Plus, it's in the middle of bookstores, cafes, bars. I am so relieved to find a place. The rent is a little more than I expected to pay but I am willing to cope with it for my sanity. I know myself and I know I need a place in the middle of noise and movement. Those other apartments were depressing. I am also shelling out a bit more because I chose the room with the window but I really think it's worth it. I'm living with 5 other girls, I think. I got so excited about the room that I didn't care to inquire so much about the roommates. I do know that there's a Spanish girl and an American. I am bound to like at least one person so whatever. The apartment is freaking sweet. Plus, my two pals live really close. Anyway, now I can finally sleep. Last night I hardly slept and when I did, I had nightmares about being homeless in Madrid. I feel like such a grown up now 9/20/06 My commute sucks ass. It takes me over an hour to get to work. And, like an idiot, I wear heals and jackets and such while everyone else wears whatever. That's the end of that. No more dressing up like a chump. Anyway, I've been realizing that my apartment is great but a little too expensive so I'm gonna have to be frugal, which I am already used to. Today I had dinner for 3 euros! I should be on freaking Survivor. I also realized that I feel guilty for living in such a nice area. It's like I have a poverty complex or something. I deserve it, damn it! What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I feel like I have to live in the goddamn slums all my life? I guess I'll get over it. I think this place would be the equivalent of Lincoln Park in Chicago, only not lame. So the plans for the rest of this week include partaking in some serious partying since there is some sort of crazy festival/celebration this weekend, making some Spanish friends, sign up for an intercambio (basically having conversations in English and Spanish with a Spaniard to improve both of our speaking skills), read the newspaper, read some poetry, wander the city, and watch that new Almodovar movie by the art theater by my apartment (yeah, that's right, art theater). I LOVE Almodovar. That man is a genius. This will be the first time I will go to the theater by myself. In fact, I've been doing almost everything by myself, which I am really starting to dig. It's like Walden Pond, only not. Ha. Thoreau was such a liar. He used to hang out with Emerson when he got bored. Anyway, I'm just really glad I'm having this experience. There isn't anyone to take care of me here and I think I needed that. I need to learn to really live on my own. Man, this croissant I am eating is so delicious... Another observation- people love it that I am Mexican, it seems. It's like it legitimizes me. When people ask me where I am from I'm like, "Chicago, but I am Mexican." Then they're like, "Oh..." then nod and smile. I'm so glad I'm Mexican right now. I think people are nicer to me for that reason. I know I am generally treated better than my fellow scholars who are white American. Ah yes, my bathroom has a boday (how the hell do you spell that?). I always thought they were a good idea and want to use it but I am not exactly sure how. It intimidates me. I will try it though, and let you know how that all works out.