Now is the time for me share my latest experience with the world. During April I was offered a job a Sarasass private schools teaching dance for one month. I arrived at Sarasass schools a day early to settle in , I was welcomed by a UK teacher who's first reaction was " your so black " you may have problems here they are racist, how bad could this be ? .I've never really encountered severe racial abuse in my life , people generally warm to me just for me being me. The first day of the orientation I felt the frostiness in the room from other staff who was also aware of the school s policy. I was finally called in to Rattamanporn's office she said "Show me how you dance and sing " so I did exactly that , she was overjoyed by the performance she had just seen "but you are black so you must make the students love you" , but because you are beautiful and talented you can stay and prove yourself ", do I really want to ?! Hang on, replay did I just really live through that surreal episode ? This just does not happen in my world in a place of work , after a long think and talk to friends I decided to give the situation the benefit of the doubt. I worked with 5 year olds in Kindergardern and had a great teaching month , the kids loved me ,no problems as I expected. The last day of summer school Ratamanporn contacted me and said " you can stay". I was moved into her building with the real teachers and older students. For two days I sat around and did nothing, something felt wrong , why am I the only teacher with no timetable ? The teaching staff in my office reassured me this is how it is the beginning of term just go with the flow. Something felt wrong. Ratamanporn approached me in the school canteen in front of an audience, looked me up and down and said "You must prove yourself you have 2 weeks then you can leave" , Just like that, prove myself again !? For what !? Why doesn't any of the other 300 teachers have to prove thereself , I knew it was a colour issue I just needed to hear her say it to me. I later found out Sarasass schools which are the Mc Donald's of education in Thailand , they have 100's of schools with a "NO BLACK POLICY" seems I was banging my head against cement , this is a loosing battle , what should I do ? Walk away and be defeated or fight for my rights? That afternoon I went to her office to talk about what I should be proving , after already being in floods of tears feeling humiliated and very insecure at this point , I'd picked my self up ready to challenge the case .I'm not a person who holds back on how I feel, in Thailand ,Thais don't do confrontation so in many ways I've been force to restrict the real me and how I generally deal with authority or any situation. As I stepped into her office my whole inner self broke down , I started to uncontrollably cry ,she leaped around the office gathering tissue s not knowing what to do with this broken girl. This broken girl who is also human has a heart, feelings and does cry like everyone else despite the colour of my skin . "AlI i ever want to do here is my best ,why do I have to keep proving my self ?!" She had a sympathetic look in her eyes and sat next to me and said " Sing ,dance do your best, this weekend stay out of the sun , be beautiful like me ,wear pink lipstick".Bang there it was ,"stay out of the sun", does she think by me staying out of the sun i will dramatically turn white ?Despite all of this and the ignorance i was facing i like Ratamanporn , there was something about her i could see in her eyes and i warmed too, behind all the brainwashed barriers deep down was a genuine spirit i just wish she had the same eye as me .I had a long think about the scenario and now developed inner strength tunnel vision towards what I was going through , I refuse to walk away or be sacked for my outer appearance and colour of my skin.Friends who work at the school advised me to walk "your fighting a loosing battle they have made there minds up" , I'd also made my mind up to dedicate
all I have and fight this out win or loose , if I go down I go down with dignity. I gave my teaching 100% ,my outer appearance fit the "Devil wears Prada bill", my spirit and bubbly persona surly did not die evan though i was breaking inside .Monday 27th May was a break through moment for me in Thailand. After Blood sweat and tears a roller coaster ride fighting for a job because of the colour of my skin. Monday I was faced with the director Rattamanporn she said "when I was young I was taught black skin is dirty" it's not beautiful. You have taught me that you are beautiful on the inside as well as the outside , I did not see it before now you have made me see, You are a talented credible teacher I would love for you stay at Sarasass schools, other people here may not see what I see in you , but I will protect you and help them to see you for YOU . My whole body went through an emotional process as I looked into her eyes of honesty and love, I was so chocked up wanting to cry with happiness and at the same time i felt freedom and euphoria buzzing around in a place where only sadness and despair lived in my heart. I've just broken a moment in history , I am the first black girl to defeat the "NO BLACK POLICY" in Sarasass schools in Thailand. Sharmayne Kirsty Marie Whitter I did it I beat the system, I followed my passion, intuitions and changed the mind of someone who only saw black as dirt before and now she sees black as the person for who she really is. I came to Thailand because I wanted to change the world in some way and have a life experience, I did and got exactly what I wanted.
There is only one race " Integrity and inner spirit " We are all one , We all are equal.- Sharmayne Kirsty Marie whitter
"She who dares wins"-