So where do we start- Well apart from all the tears at Heathrow (most of mine *Shannon ) i may add haha- we got on our plane to Delhi....

I managed to blend in quite well- saw a few relatives, Gurpreet- Harpreet- and cant forget Singh... Plotted down on our seats for our 8 hour journey.

I only took 1 valium this time too- and with the vodka that was consumed before and during the flight- a cosy 2 hours rest was BANG TIDY ;)

Well for number 1 laugh of the plane, at my expense of course LOL, i was peacefully watching Bridesmaids when a Gurpreet leant over my chair- held on to the inside of my leg and steadied himself... let me set the scene- there was no apology- he didnt even look at me, and acted like i was part of the furniture- typical man eh? Answers a few questions LOL!!

I kindly asked him- and the rest of the plane in my best Northern accent "Are you ok?"

He didnt reply...

So the chickpea curry and Chicken Tikka Curry wrap went down nicely- although the smell of the toilet after these 2 courses was a lot to be desired- in fact- i think that was just the plane ;p LOL!!!

So we land at Delhi, and Emmas t*** are the apple of every Indian mans eye!! So aswell as having the 2 pastiest people in Delhi with me- they also think there is a mild porn show going on.....

We get through passport Control, And out into a sea of Rickshaws, goats, people, police, and taxis- that look like they have been made from a f***ing lego set!! So part of r journey we hop into one and get on our way to our hotel....

So the sights are amazing well what i can see out of the one eye thats open. Then there it is,after 15mins in the country a near miss with a yellow and green tuk tuk. jens life flashes before her eyes as it head towards her side of the car while the taxi man says no problem. After laughing it off we all carry on through the mad traffic seriously missing the sound of an indicator.

We come to the busiest road we have ever seen before taking a sharpe left up the back streets to find our hotel in neon lights. before even have time to think whether we really wanna stay here, the bags are out of the car and into the lobby. we are then taken to our rooms via a lift. shannons only words to emma were just dont look. when inside the lift i can seriously understand why. im sure there are 3 men underneath it pushing it up 4 floors.........once inside the room the mood changes. its clean, tidy and cool. maybe this want be too bad.

so we decide on a short nap which ends up in a 6 hr sleep thanx to jens duck noise alarm. but hey we are up and off into the center we go for some food and a bit of exploring...... the hotel gives a car and a driver for the next 5 hrs at the total cost of £4. maddness.

we find some great shops and some amazing little places, we get followed to give back the coke bottles, run from the fighting dogs and get stared at in the market but 2 pairs of sunglassand a new bag later we are ready to eat. pizza hut seems liike a good safe meal for the next 3 weeks.

So after a veggie Pizza, Garlic Bread and a drink for £1.50 (we are all still here to tell the tale LOL) We head back to the Hotel- for a nice sleep in our comfy beds NOOOT!! Lights out and Shannon pipes up- typical West London-"You are having a f***ing laugh aint ya?!" the girls shoot up thinking some1 has been shot- Shannon Replies- " I cant sleep- Hotel f***ing Balaji sign is flashing Green, Red Orange Blue white and yellow- right outside our window!! Great!! I feel like im in the poxy circus- so after a resteless night- we get up for our Taxi Tour of Delhi...

so we hop in our taxi with our little man who is shall we say interesting. shan is sitting in the front and seems to be keeping him entertained so jen and i sit back and laugh as the tone in her voices changes to complete bordem. we go to india gate where we become film stars in our own right. pictures of us are wanted by everyone so we just strike a pose and lap it up. We then return to the car and drive around the army, millitary, raf and presidents house. constantly told to "take photo" by our driver. shannons impersonation has us giggling for the rest of the day.

we then go to the lodi garden and the lodi restaurant for lunch , such amazing place to eat sitting on hugh cushions in amongst trees and hanging latterns. the best meal in 3 days so we lap it up.... this is why we wanted to travel.

After a few more amazing temples and a light show on hare Krishna, we head back to the hotel and do the only english thing we know to do when tired. order a pizza to the hotel room. heaven.

The next morning we are off to Agra, a long drive but with so much to see. Drinking water is the key on these trips- well so every other tosser keeps telling me- so after a litre of water- my bladder is close to bursting point- however- were not on the M1 here where we can pop to Costa or Mc Donalds for a decent standard of toilet cleanliness...Were on a dirt track in some state in India... but i needed to stop, to be faced with a hole in the floor and a smell worse than rotton eggs and fish piss s*** and every other nasty smell!!! So after I (Shannon) turns green, vomits through her nose and is close to fainting. we pass on the toilet and wait for something a little more western. The only western thing that i see is the word wash room. I step into a hole in the floor... Some absolute a******* thought it was funny to snap my kneecap at footy 2 weeks before travelling- so squatting is near on impossible- let alone trying to aim in a hole without a penis... so needless to say with my lack of aim and spraybacks- i ended up with a very nice wet patch on both of my ankles NICCCE!!

so we drop our bags off at the hotel leaving the cockroachs to watch them for us. We head off to fort agra where the smell of monkey s*** is pungent. After stopping to take pictures of the cute red arses we suddenly realise we are surrounded by them and make a really quick exit to avoid the monkey diseases to add to the god knows what else we have already picked up. As we head into the fort Jens sudden need for the loo is desperate, after paying 75r for the pleassure of 2 squares of recycled newspaper. jen appears a shade whiter and a stone lighter. We look around the fort and take pictures before making some home movies of our day which lightens everyones mood. Heading back to the hotel we know its gonna be a long night when shannons foot in her new indian shoes become the stopping point for a mouse outside the entance. this just confirms even more that we really dont like agra. Now safely in our room its dinner time, so we settle down for a cuppa slimmer soup in a glass and some veg crackers, cant say we didnt push the boat out. If im not a stone lighter when i leave this place i want to know why.

Back to me (Shannon) well i was feeling a bit ropey last night when i stopped skyping beanhead... Got into bed with a headache- prob from all the s*** she was chatting lol! jokkkes- got up 2 hours later at 530 and thought i was going to die- i had the worst headache ever- and stomach cramps that would knock a horse out... LOL!! So i had to stay n bed while the other 2 went to the Taj Mahal- i slept like a baby- was force fed Diaoralite and made to eat toast... I felt a bit better- but was absolutely gutted at missing the Taj- i so wanted to see it ;( then was packed off for r 6.5 trip to Rahombalore? i think thats what this place is called LOL!!!

So eventually after nursing shannon back to health we get her in the car in her bright pink pjs to start the 8 hr journey. After getting out of the mad traffic in Agra and finally being able to smell something other than s*** again we head for the open india roads. we watch crazy tuk tuks with 20 people in go past and buses filled to tipping point, not to meantion the 10 people sat on the roof. Then throw in a few cows, pigs and small children walking in the roads and u have our india experience in one.

We stop at a restaurant on the way which is finally clean enough to eat in and grab some supplies, shan gets a dirty look from a russian because she has her bright pink pjs rolled up to her knees, hair on top of her head and no bra on. Her usual look at home u all may say, i just dont think they are ready for her west london style here yet lol.

Shannon's back... So i stick to plain crackers as i dont believe my stomach is ready for any of the delights tandoori nights at the side of the road has to offer ;p the girls get toasted cheese sandwiches- chips and Jen, the Paddy ventures with a vegetable samosa- which she has kept down- and she said it was the best veg samosa she had ever tasted- about 500 times...

LOL- So finally afetr 6 hours 22km down the bumpiest sandiest dirt track we arrive at this hotel ready for our Safari tomo...

To sum up our experience so far- there has been laughs- i think a few tears- s***s, giggles- no rows, banter and a HUGGGGE eye opened into a completely diffreent world- if it has taught us 1 thing- that we are so lucky to have everything we have in our lives and we are so fortunate to live the lives we do!! So we are all greatly humbled and even if we are living off cuppa soup and masala mix crisps- we so fortunate ;)

Peace out and we will blog again soon with more adventures xxxxxxxxxxxxx Jen Shan and Span