Our transfer picked us up at 10:00 to take us to the island of Korcula. There is a ferry direct to Korcula from Dubrovnik, but it only runs at 7:00am or 4:30pm and neither of those times suited us. The only alternative was to book a van to take us 2 hours along the coast to a town called Orebic and then a 20 minute ferry to Korcula.

The ferry had two flights of long, steep, steel steps up to the lounge area and I had to carry the suitcases up there, one in each hand. My back had been giving me trouble and it was excruciating lugging the suitcases up the steps. Once we arrived in Korcula I had to carry them back down again. I decided to carry them one at a time because Awkwardo carrying two 25 kilo suitcases down two flights of steep steel steps, with a sore back, on a boat is a sure recipe for disaster. Anyway I made it down with no major injuries.

We arrived in Korcula and met another driver who took us to our apartment. He couldn't fit our suitcases into the back of his hatch and after trying to force the hatch down he gave up and drove to the apartment with the hatch open. We were hoping our luggage wouldn't bounce out onto the road.

When we arrived at our apartment we were pleasantly surprised. There were steps leading to a rooftop with a view right across the ancient medieval town to the coast. We were all starving hungry and went for a short walk into the heart of the ancient town to a restaurant recommended to us called Aterina. We sat down and were served by a waitress called Jakica. She turned out to be a real character and we had a magnificent meal and were constantly entertained by Jakica. When Madi asked her what the pasta sauce was like, she simply answered "it's good". We complimented her on her English and she answered "Of course it's good, I'm a woman."

I am again amazed by how little the Croatians use vowels in their language. The consonant to vowel ratio has to be more than 95% and this is proven by the local wine in Korcula, which is called "Grk". Not one vowel.

After lunch, Lidia and the kids went for a wander while I found a Thai massage place. My back was throbbing by now and it needed some urgent attention. Jakica had recommended a place, so I went there. Fortunately they were able to slot me in immediately.

I realised as soon as the masseuse jumped up on the table with me that I was in for an entertaining massage. In fact, over the next hour she spent more time on me and the table than she did on the floor. I was hoping for a Thai massage where the masseuse walks on your back, because I had one in Budapest once and it sorted out my back pain straight away. This masseuse did indeed walk on my back. The difference was that generally a Thai masseuse is small and demure. This one looked like she had eaten one too many curry puffs and was quite hefty. She proceeded to stomp all over my back like an Italian wine-maker and I'm sure she crushed my bones to dust. I was genuinely impressed by her balance, because it must have been like walking on a sack of pudding by the time she finished pounding my back with her meaty feet. At one point she wrapped her legs around my legs and then laid on my back, bending my legs so far back I think I felt the soles of my feet touching the back of my head. I think I should audition to Cirque du Soleil as Pretzel-man. She then turned me over and wrung me out like a dishcloth. At this point I think my muscles actually tore from my bones and were flapping around like flags in the wind. I was a breath away from smashing my fist on the table and screaming "Uncle!" I am amazed I actually walked out of there of my own volition with some semblance of muscle control left.

I arrived back at the apartment to a s**t-storm. Madi and Jye had gone to the beach for a swim and Jye had lost the key to the apartment. Madi was ripping through him like a dinner roll through a coeliac.

That evening we walked back down to the old town for some burek and wandered around the town, which was buzzing, but nowhere near as busy as Dubrovnik. We walked around the promenade that surrounds the whole island, winding along the seashore. Some parts had luxury yachts moored with lights underneath lighting up the crystal clear water. We decided that we love Korcula.

The next morning, we went down for a swim at the beach and then had lunch at a cool outdoor bar called Fish & Go, which served fantastic fish and chips and beer. Then it was back to the beach for another swim.

We had dinner at a restaurant called Marinero's which was recommended to us by Jakica. They had pasticada on the menu, which Lidia and I loved last time we were in Croatia. It's basically slow-cooked steak in a rich gravy with gnocci. We were very excited about it, but the one at Marinero's wasn't as good as the one we had last time. It was still good, but not spectacular.

The next morning we packed up and said goodbye to Korcula, catching a ferry to the island of Hvar.