Little China girl: Guangzhou
First pit stop is China. It's 4pm. It's dark with pollution. It's hot. Not the lovely meditarean blast that hits you when you leave a holiday plane but the 'oh my why aren't I (and all of china) naked right now' hot.
The first 12 hours have been effortless, the Scarlett luck has struck (is that a word?) again and there was a spare seat between myself and new best friend, Jack (named so because of his uncanny resemblance to the artful dodger in the original Oliver film). Jack has 4 black teeth in the front of his mouth and self drawn tattoos down his arms....
Jack offered me some milk bottles and to spread out on the spare seat. I politely declined and like the generous person I can be, offered to share the space- this sharing resulted in a twelve hour flight of my sleeping form spread eagled, over the two seats with my feet on Jacks lap. TREAT!
I had chicken noodles at midnight (quite divine) and pork noodles for breakfast (quite disgusting). Go southern china airlines!
In an effort to begin my cultural self development I watched a German speaking Russian film (subtitled occasionally) - which left me with the quandary -which area of Russia predominantly sprachen die deutsch? There is no wifi to answer me! Rah!
I also read the Chinese newspaper which informed me that the Japanese have invented anti-grope gloves ( I thought I may order a pair for Moaner to give to Rene).
The queue for internal immigration was a chore, on first glance the steward placed me in the domestic queue ;) but I was soon sorted away from the genetic gene pool and with a man 'call me Robinson' from Singapore. Robinson introduced himself, kissed me twice and then proceeded to stroke each of left ears five piercings in turn whilst stating 'I wish I was a girl, so beautiful to wear jewellery'. I was in this queue for 2 hours with this man.....
Once through however I made a quick scarper for a browse around the shops and to drink a bottle of salt/ dirt water before embarkation part deux.
I was fully aware 'call me Robinson' was on my next flight so sat with the boarders to Phuket in an effort to escape further analysis and interrogation.... Epic fail! this has resulted in me being sat with a group of Thai men- an older one who appears intent on hacking his lungs up into his cup o noodles eeeeeggghh and a group of Thai wannabe hipster paparazzi taking photographs like the flash is going out of fashion- look out for internet sensation of me eating a tuna sandwich!
I am now sat around... Waiting to board with Christmas jumper Pete and a Buddhist Monk, the staff are scurrying around on electronic Uni-cycles (I kid you not) which puts the Singaporean sedgeways to shame and a small child is attempting to play with me... I'm not sure if this is because he senses the inner SW and wishes to be saved or because I look like his mum.
The small snap of this little part of China has however stoked the desire to return and see it properly.
Next stop Sydney and now I'm excited!!! Maybe should have booked somewhere to stay though (don't tell Pat)