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CHATPER 5 - LAOS WHERE THE LAOTIAN PEOPLE LIVE. Got here 6 hours ago (it's 3am now) and already I f***ing love it. Chilled. Calm. Relaxed. Nice people. f*** U VIETNAM MAN. We flew into lurang purang and we are waiting for the new addition to de group LAURA FITZ :)). So we have 3 nights 3 WHOLE nights to sleep and sleep in and not effin worry about getting up and on the move. WAH HOO. REST. It's like chiang mai here I love it alreads.
WELLLLL I had a lovely lay in and the best breakfast since being in Asia TALK ABOUT MASSIVE FRESH BAGUETTES WOOWEE. Today me Greg and steph got some bikes out and we rode around lurang prabang all day was so much fun. Went over some bamboo bridge to a little tribe had a mini trek oh I love it here it's amazing and Jungley and chilled and just ahhhhh (sigh). We hadn't been with Katie all day she had a me day. But 12 hours without katie yes we all started to f**** panic it was awful def thought she had been snatched i was an hour away from reporting to the police!! Whilst Katie was lost in her adventure we (me, stephy& Greg) went night Market OH MY DILLIO so much amazing food it's like Europeans best food mixed with the best Asian food (and I don't even like Asian food unless it's a curry) but yes amazing me and steph were in heaven even Greg was and he ain't eaten a frikkin thing since being away. So we got to a stall full with food and it was buffet and BBQ and amazing and a couple of quid oh my god making me feel sick I ate so much but so so so good. Most I have eaten the whole trip. And I had ice cream AND A f**** DOHNUT A PEAKO DOHNUT OH MANN OH MANN. The best food is laotian (that's what Lao people are). So by the time we got back to the room again Katie still weren't with us and we started to panic looked for her in some hidden bar not there she had been gone since 9:30am and it was now 9:30pm. We got back to the hostel again she was sitting there thank f**** god she had been lost for almost 4 hours man 4HOURSSSS. I was so scared but shes safe and not lost and not leaving my side. Currently we are all back in the room (well minus KJ she is getting food hopefully she don't get lost again) chilling& jamming it alll good it's our first night in together oooo. And we got another night TIL LAura arrives wahooooo!!! Update ma s*** tomorrow.
Well it's sat night me KJ and Greg sitting and empty bar in loa with 2 teas and a vodka bit of lemon drizzle cake with the nicest bar man with 'hot chocolate - I believe in miracles' playing. OH THIS IS BLISS. DJ Good (his real name) is playing our own playlist brilliant next is Disney oh yea. OH BUT WE SHOT ABSINTH WE NO HOW WE DO.
Earlier today the 4 of us went to see a waterfall little did we no when we got there it had a bear rescue centre. Oh my daysssssss they were so f**** cute man. Got some photos. Then we got to the mini waterfall it was amazing so so beautiful, the water was soooooo blue you cant even see it on the photos it's that blue THAT BLUEE. Walked up the river abit more it was like loadsa springs but cold and waterfalls ha lovely pics. Then went a bit further and there like a massive swim bit and it's so blue and loadsa trees it was like jungle book with loadsa mowglis running round (def avin brown babies too) then this big ollll tree which went over the river pool bit and people swinging off into the water (some fat munter bird was up there was sooo funny watching her struggin) so we are watching away laughing I'm adamant it's too cold n I ain't gettin in but no KJ desides she's guna swing in. SO U NO WHAT THAT MEANS?! I have to do it to becos I'm a competitive/peer pressured little cock. Got sick photos on katies camera. Then me n Greg got up there (then started s***tin me self) Greg did it fine was jokes. Now me did it was funny got out my middle finger was numb about 20 minutes later this pain comes AND I'VE BROKEN ME f**** FINGER (calmer for laughing at the fat munter before me) so now I can't do s*** all like a nob and we are going tubing tomorrow. WOULD BE ME. Was well worth the jump tho STILLLLL. Going down to veng viene in the morning last night with just the 4 of us, laury will be here in ZE morn woo hoo. I don't wana leave lurang prabang it's the best I wana stay forever. I'm def comin back to Thailand and laos for like 2 months as soon as I get more money it's the best THE BLUDDY BEST. Anyways sleep time over and out.
(oh yea spoke and see the face of lain today made me so bluddy happy even if it was for like 6 mins. Skype is magical)
RIGHT SO IT'S BLOWING ME f**** MIND LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE THAT IT IS CHRISTMAS IN 3 DAYS!! What the s*** dawgggggg. And Laura fitz has arrived and 'chapter 5' has been in full swing. Mate Laos is the most B E A U T I F U L country I have ever stepped foot in. It has honestly blown my mind (I'm loving being mind blown OIOI) so many beautiful photos SO MANYYYY. On the journey from luang prabang to vang viene it was f**** awful. Long and winding roads (just like the beatles) bumpy as f*** literally these girls in the back in the van were jumping out there seats and smacking there head on the roof haha (imagine 4 hours of that haha). So the night we arrived we dived straight into the 'buckets' (and I dont mean fannys here) buckets of alcohol. They were orrible but what can ya do eh? Shut up and drink the b******. We found this bar called 'Q bar' was a bit grim but we ended up there every night. Oh yea and I thought I'd lost me f**** watch and got soooooooo upset then this other bloke from behind the bar said he found it gives it back to me BUTTT I later find out this dik head magic (madge) man (who was well alright in the end) stole my watch as a magic trick not once tho oh no no TWICEEEE clever f***. Laura def brought out the 'slut' in us (not literally we are all virgins) and we was right slutting around haha. Propa c*** fest man (poor old Greg). So we bumped back into the Irish we had met in Hanoi was the best to see them honestly the funny f***ers ever! They had 2 boys from england with them too which we hadn't met and honestly as a group they were so much fun. Day 1 of tubing and we are all s***ting a brick. All these f***ing horror stories and almost everyone with a bandaged up arm or leg or foot or hand was bad but we got the f***in 'tubing talk' it was like a military run down to the soldiers about to go on the front line mate (some old ozzy bloke who had obv been in the area for at least 8years and seen some trauma in his days). YOU WILL NOT GO IN THE RIVER IN THO SHOES OR YOU WILL DIE YOU WILL NOT GET YOUR FLIP FLIPS BACK ALIVE THEY CALL
THESE DRINKS THE BUCKETS YOU WILL DIE YOUR MIND IS GONE BUT YOUR HEADS AWAKE YOU WILL DIE (basically like this for about 30-40seconds) now now the death slide (he explains more) it's called it for a reason you go on it you will either DIE or break your neck. Then kind of looked at us and smiled and we were off. On the tuk tuk there get off an Greg is like oi I am nervous is anyone else hahaha we didn't get tubes first day we just went IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. Peoples f***in horror stories could suck out the only way you could of hurt yaself was being a complete c*** (excuse the language!) it was so nice we was at the first bar got out buckets weather was amazing sat on these wooden things in the river had a dance it was honestly better than Ibiza (but with s***ter music) everyone is on ya level (except a few nob heads but theres always one). The water was so clear was wicked man had such a funny day. See the Irish (Niall, Glen& Shane) and the English (Paddy, Billy, Michelle & Naomi) we was with them they so funny get absolutely blotto (they tubed for 5 days fuk noes how). Anyways moved along the bars throughout the day and when we got to 2nd bar the irish lot ask for one direction (you dont no your beautiful one) and basically every time is comes on they (the boys) do this massive gay dance haha it was so f**** funny I tried to film it but didn't press record (what a nob I no) so so soooo funny Greg joined in and he was poorin beer over himself then laura though her bucket over him then i did then we all bundled it got out of hand was so funny! Can't explain you had to be there. FUNNY s***. (oh yea and even funnier as the song started you see paddy & Niall running from the toilet in a panic runnin in the gayest fashion with arms dead straight SOOOOOO FUNNY HAHA wish I just filmed the run man). Oi yea and you could like jump off some wall into the river was so in but the f**** current took you away man my bodies in bits! We did a cartwheel in too cos we cool init. So the first day was so funny and over with was so lagging went home ate and flakes early!! DAY 2 of tubing. Laura Greg and steph all got tubes today so me and KJ was determined not to drink and just chill by the water whilst they went off floating down the river. BUT NO 3 buckets later me n KJ are the biggest social butterflies on the river haha! It was so much fun man. Anyways later that night met back up with Greg lau n steph they said it was well nice down the river but there werent a chance in hellos be sitting on a river or 2&half hours. Day 3 no one got tubes again. We chilled more just sat and danced and drank bucket loads not sure why but day 3 was the funnest and we propa went for it we wnt home washed then straight down to Q bar (who is run by these 2 wicked bloke who are like waynes world but blonde and they are just sweet as man I need to work there too). We met some Essex blokes earlier in the night they were so funny man off there f**** heads but harmless funny blokes. So we was with them then some gals from the Hanon bay Vietnam trip ha turned up and obv the Irish were there so it was a quality last night were everyone was f***ed and we was just skanking out (propa gay) HIP HOP HIP HOPPPPOPP but I love dubstep now and me and Greg guns go to a dubstep rave when we are home but I dot wana go home man. So today we left for Thailand at 7:30am the worst bluddy journey (oh yea just remember 1 of the Essex blokes Tristan was cracking me and Greg up saying lines from chopper (the film) NEVILE BARTOOOOO funny man so f**** funny) but wort journey bumpy jumpin out ya seats I held my sick down so good and slept for 3 hours until I smacked my face or somink tho. So now we are back in Thailand I'm so sad to have left Laos defo the best week of the 4/5 weeks I been away- Laos is the place AND IF YOU DON'T NO NOW YOU NOOOOOO. So waitin for a flight to Phuket and going to meet CASEY&& SAMMMMMM IM SO BLUDDY HAPPPPPYYYYY Christmas an new war with the reamest sorts. Chapter 6 Xmas and new year well can't wait for you man.
OH s*** MISSED OUT A MAJOUR PART ON DAY 1 OF TUBING. Laura got brave and wanted ago on the zip swing she done it and it went perfectly. Greg done it before and was like Tarzan haha. Then Laura done it again and KJ decided she was guna do it too. So I was standing at the ready with the camera. Laura swings and pings off hahahaha was so funny. Now Katies goes she jumps pings straight off into a 30ft drop belly flop (I'm f**** creasing as I'm writing this) KATIE IS A TROOPER thank god for the bukets she thought she had died it all happen too quick I didnt even get a pic ahhhh haha so funny Katie comes out the water black and f**** blue hahaha. TROOOOPER. Lauras fall didn't look half as bad but hurt her t*** bless her (and we all no how that feels). Oh god funny funny funnny s***! Thanks for the reminder Stephy!
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