It's 2am. I was awake at 11pm too. I've just wedged the toilet float up with the lid..I think it was the sound of running water that's been waking me every few hours with an urgent need to pee.

The flight was good, considering it was 20 hours long. The first leg into Bangkok was on a new aircraft, the thai food was fantastic and the air hostesses must have changed outfits four times. So glamorous. I on the other hand was slowly deterioating with every passing hour, so that by the time we landed in Bangkok, Ewan was actually sitting next to the bus driver from South Park.

Bangkok airport is enormous. Very new, very clean..and everything you need is 4 kilometres away in the opposite direction to what you've been walking. We only had to wait about half an hour to board (the first hour being taken up with getting to the gate). Time to brush our teeth and prepare for the next leg.

12 hours. 12 hours in an old plane, cramped seat, some b****** in front with his seat back through the whole flight, meal service the lot. On the seats opposite were a family. The baby started screaming as soon as we were on board. He calmed down though once his Mum fell asleep and he could wander around the plane on his own.

The food was again brilliant. We worked out where they stashed the water so we were helping ourselves throughout the flight (so rock n' roll).

Johannesburg airport is the polar opposite of Bangkok. Run down, falling down, no systems or procedures, worst of all, not a single smiling face. They've all got heads full of gleaming fangs, I don't know why they don't share. We showed our passports, got a stamp, our bags made it. Hurrah! We then went to go through customs, we didn't have anything to declare but we still thought someone would care. No. We just walked straight through and out. Customs there is a bit like a booze bus, some get stopped, most get through.

John (from Pretoria Backpackers) picked us up to take us the 50 kilometers to Pretoria. He drives an immaculately kept 1960 something corolla. The speed limit is 120, he was doing 140 at times, which I loved, because there were no seat belts in the back where I was sitting.

My first impression of the South African landscape was, "Gee, it's a lot like Werribee". Flat and Dry. They farm maize really close to the city, but the crops were long harvested and there's just dust there at the moment.

Pretoria is a lovely city. It's South Africa's administrative centre, so all of the embassies are here along wide, tree-lined streets. The backpackers that we're staying in is a lovely hundred year old house. Wooden floors and beautiful timber furniture. Our room is big and clean, tea and coffee making facilities and a tv. There's a communal kitchen, big dining room and a little Balinese style garden out the back.

We were a bit shattered when we got in, so we thought, we'll have a shower and go for a walk, in an attempt to stay up for a while and become aclimatised. I had my shower and discovered I didn't look like the bus driver from South Park anymore, now I looked like Cartman. My God the Cankles!

Off we went with strict instructions from the staff, to "not look too touristy". The weather is beautiful and warm after coming from Melbourne's winter. It's pretty easy to find your way around. We went and had a sandwich at "Harry's Pancakes". Good food and incredibly good service, Australia has so much to learn about hospitality. We wandered in search of a guitar for Ewan. Every home, regardless of it's size, has a barbed wire fence and/or electric fence. It's a sad reminder of the poverty driven violence that occurs here.

I should have worn hiking boots. We walked about 5 kms. Found one music store, but Ewan wanted to find others. We didn't, but we did see alot more shops, bought a few things in "Pick n Pay", we bought fruit and didn't know we had to weigh and price it, so we held up the line while some poor girl had to go and do it for us. Everyone was pretty kind about it really. The checkout lad asked where we were from and when we had got in. Our answers didn't suprise her. The woman behind us in the queue offered me 3 disprin she pulled out of her pocket. I'm guessing I was looking pretty special.

We came back and had a snooze, then played cards and hung out at the house for a while. They have 3 dogs here, 2 poodles and a mastiff. The mastiff is E Normous and beautiful, the poodles are poodles. My favourite poodle is Carlo. He wears a red ribbon in his hair. Ewan said he's getting in touch with his feminine doggy side and to be fair we should call him Carla.

More walking and an early dinner. Ended up at a sports bar watching a game of rugby union. Block heads on the field and block heads on the tables around us. It could have been a club in central queensland. The peri-peri beef nearly killed Ewan, they're not afraid of spice in Africa.

Early to bed, we're off to Kruger at about 9am. It's 6 hours drive, we need to get there before they close the park gates.

While I've been writing this some fellow traveller has got up and used the broken loo. It's running again. I'll try and dream of waterfalls.