Jaisalmer
When we first arrived in Jaisalmer I had the same thought that I have each time we arrive in a new Indian city - "This doesn't look anything like any of the other places we've seen." Jaisalmer is out in the desert (Thar desert), so not only is it very dry but it's also very hot. The buildings in the street are all yellow sandstone and small and the whole set up reminded me of a kind of wild west living museum. I'm sure we went to one in Wales once where you get caps guns and go round shooting people. I was waiting for some cowboy to come riding in on the back of a horse.
On our first afternoon we took a rickshaw to a nearby oasis. It was due to this water source that the town was founded here. It was very pretty although, because it was the dry season, the lake was quite low. We got our second chance to go on a peddalo - this time we chose one which resembled a blue swan. He warned us not to go too near the edges because the water was low and if we got stuck we'd have to pay about 500Rs (7pound 50) to get rescued. After paddling round the lake we went to sit under a tree for a while. Whilst we were there, a British couple decided to rent a peddalo too. They also chose the blue swan (all the others were normal boring peddalos). They were a bit more adventurous than us - peddaling right up to the ancient buildings which were marooned in the centre of the lake. However, the blue swan soon got into some difficulty and we spent the best part of fifteen minutes laughing at them frantically try to free the swan who had got stuck in the shallow bit of the lake. It really was quite hilarious as the man used his arms trying to paddle while the woman sat there taking photos of his attempts. Near where we were sitting were two other couples all taking delight in the Brits' misfortune. Eventually, we spied the rescue boat coming over to help them. It had nearly reached them when their vigorous jumping up and down finally paid off and the blue swan was free. We started up a round of applause and cheers from the sidelines which the other couples joined in with. Looks like they just saved themselves 500Rs.
The next day was the Holi festival. This is celebrated all over India and represents the triumph of good over evil. Everyone takes to the streets with bags of powder paint, water pistols and water bombs and buckets of painty water which they proceed to throw over everyone. This is supposed to represent the playful nature of Krishna - one of the gods.
When we went downstairs in the morning, the hotel manager was sitting at his reception desk working covered head to toe in bright red powder paint. At first we were just going to watch proceedings from our hotel's roof top restaurant. We had heard that it could all get a bit out of hand and that it would be safer to stay out of the way. However, our hotel was on a quiet street and the celebrations below were only the people who lived on the road so it wasn't really crowded. We um-ed and ah-ed for a while about whether to go down. Then I made the mistake of squirting one of the hotel men with a water pistol from the rooftop. He came rushing up with his bag of powder paint and I had to beg him not to get me when I was in these clothes because they would have been ruined. He relented but said he would definitely get me later. This was the clincher, so me and Jane went downstairs and got changed into some clothes which we weren't too bothered about getting ruined.
We hadn't even stepped into the street when the hotel man came over with his bright red powder paint and smeared it all over my cheeks. We thought originally that they just threw it over you, but in fact they get two massive handfuls and rub it into your cheeks and hair and say "Happy Holi!" By the time we were two metres away from our hotel we were covered in paint. Most people had red powder, but there was also pink, green, yellow, purple. The little kids were also armed with water bombs. Luckily, most of them hadn't been filled up enough so they just bounced off you.
There were three Japanese guys staying at our hotel who were really getting involved. They started off dressed in white but by the end they looked like pieces of modern art. It seemed like the Japanese guy had some kind of protective force field round him - kids were trying to throw powder at him but, as the breeze was blowing away from him, it didn't reach him and they just got a faceful of powder. Unfortunately he wasn't totally invincible, and the hotel man crept up behind him and threw a whole bucket of painty water over his head which definitely broke his power.
We didn't make it too far down the street. We were definitely targetted more as Westerners and as girls. Everyone seemed to want to wish us a 'Happy Holi' and our hair, ears and mouths were soon full of the stuff. Jane even sneezed a little puff of red powder!
That afternoon, we got a jeep into the desert where we were to start our camel safari. Our guide introduced himself as 'Delboy' which I initially took to be a joke but it turns out he's been calling himself that for years. Jane's camel was called Mr Raj, my camel was Mr Burra and Delboy's camel was Pepsi. As a form of transport, I would have to rate camels fairly poorly.
1. Speed: They are very slow. It would be quicker to walk.
2. Hygiene: They are very smelly and Mr Burra had a serious gas problem.
3. Comfort: This was the real sticking point. I have never been on anything more uncomfortable in my life! On the first day we had no stirrups, so our legs just flapped around on the sides. Our bums were so bruised and legs so chafed by the time we finished! It was sheer agony and there were many moments when I thought 'I just can't do this.' I used to think that my idea of hell was an eternal journey on a sea kayak in the ocean in Portugal in very stormy waters, but I think a camel ride through the desert midday sun with no stirrups is definitely a close second. I guess hell would be an eternal journey on the back of a camel with the promise that the next leg would be travelled via sea kayak. I honestly can't think of much worse.

So, aside from the actual travelling on a camel aspect, the safari was good fun. We camped overnight in the sand dunes. Unfortunately, it was a little cloudy so we couldn't see the stars as well as we'd hoped, but there was a great full moon which meant that we didn't really need Jane's torch.

Delboy cooked us dinner on a small campfire. By the time it was ready it was pretty dark, so I'm not 100% sure what we were eating. I think it was lentil curry, probably with a few insects thrown in. We saw a few dung beetles around which we had to keep fending off with our flip flops. After dinner, Delboy made a slightly bigger campfire and we sat round it. He sang us some songs. One of them consisted of two lines repeated over and over again. Jane made the mistake of asking what it meant, thinking he would just translate the two lines for us. After a twenty minute story (no exaggeration) he concluded with "And that was the song the lady was singing." After that he told us a joke and laughed heartily at the punchline which was 'Where's Rosa?" Jane and I laughed too and then admitted that we totally did not get it. We asked him to explain it, to which he shook his head and said "No, I can't explain it. I don't get it either. Some Swiss people told it to me and they thought it was funny." The fact that he was telling and laughing at jokes which he didn't understand was funnier than any of his actual jokes.

The next day we were extremely reluctant to get back on the camels. Delboy fashioned us some stirrups out of rope which made it a little more comfortable - but it's all relative. I was exceptionally glad when we reached the jeep at 5pm and I have vowed never to get back on a camel again.

On our last day in Jaisalmer we had a look round the shops. We were invited in to a jewellery shop by a man who got out all his earrings, rings and necklaces to show us. We noticed some very rude silver pendants which emulated the Kama Sutra and others, which you could make move, of a monkey doing naughty things! As we were laughing at these, the man got a wooden box out from under his counter. Inside were some wooden sex toys which he tried to sell us saying they would be good gifts! It seemed like we had stumbled upon the Indian version of Ann Summers! We later found out that it's actually illegal to sell such things in India.

After that, we got a free palm reading from the man! He was quite impressed with my chakra (?) which meant that I enjoyed life and liked to have fun or something. He also said that I would make lots of money and that I had had one boyfriend and would have three more before I marry - so it sounds like it's all planned out!

That evening we got on the night train to Jaipur, which was our last stop before Goa where we are now.