Profile
Blog
Photos
Videos
Today. Was the day - of all - days.I found the equivalent of a Walmart.They call it Tesco here.I've never been so excited to buy a budget bra in all my life!Usually when I go shopping for underwear, I'm less than thrilled to have any sort of audience.But today I could care less.I was so excited in my own little world standing before a vast array of brassieres of all different shapes, colors and sizes.All on sale!The simple pleasures in life… Who knew one could miss Walmart so much.I about walked through every aisle just so I could feel some sort of normalcy… like I dropped in on my way home from work.However, I will say that walking through the baby aisle was less than comforting.That would not surprise many of you who know me, but a much different feeling brought on my uneasiness - the kind of feeling that makes a 'ticking' sound.It didn't help that there was a scrumptious, wide-eyed little lassie sitting in a cart before me.Needless to say, I moved very quickly out of that aisle.I'm just sayin'…
All jokes aside, it was definitely a day full of personal reflection.The night before I crept out onto the beach long after the sun set to take pictures.In the dark, the silence is more unsettling than it is peaceful.There's something about not being able to see anything - and being alone, that perked up my spidey senses.But I had a mission.I wanted to capture a long exposure of the shipwreck a mile down the beach.Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.The closer I got to the wreck site, the more creeped out I got.Nonetheless, I had to get the composition I had in mind, so the fear had to be set aside.Once I got the exposure I wanted, I made like a tree and got out of there!On my walk back, I wondered to myself why it felt so creepy standing next to that decaying ship.Aside from being dark and not knowing what lurked inside it, there was something else.
Having served eight years in the Navy - three of which were spent out to sea on a carrier.I developed an intimate relationship with not only my ship, but ships of all kind.I've felt things out to sea that are very hard to describe to those who have never experienced it.Ships have souls of their own and when the soul is under duress or unrest, you feel it.Call me crazy (not far from the truth), but there the myths surrounding Davey Jones' Locker, Mother Ocean and the whole bit were created around a semblance of truth.If you don't respect the Mother and her minions, you will pay a hefty price.This old salty dog knows!That being said, as I pondered over why that shipwreck bothered me, it occurred to me that the ship's soul is not able to rest.Ships are meant to be out to sea.They don't belong on land.If a ship is to be no more, their proper burial place is the great blue deep.Like a body's soul that hasn't accepted death, roaming around haunting homes and other buildings, the soul's restless stench hovers around the wreck site like flies buzzing haphazardly around a dung heap - lost without an anchor.Without a proper burial, it will remain a place of restless energy - even after the sand covers it completely like the ones I found this morning.
Jogging down the other end of the sandy stretch, I came upon a few more wreck sites.Although it was not dark anymore, there was still an uninviting aura around the still visible parts.Slowly, the sand was covering more and more it.At one point, the seaweed attached to the top of one part was the only thing sticking out of the sand… the ship piece buried below.I had to photograph it out of respect… so it wouldn't be forgotten.But however deep below, the wreckage will always be there.Like a festering boil… the poetry of unfinished business discolors the serenity of the sand above.Walking further along, I came across a glass bottle in the sand and found an opportunity to 'analogistically' link the two with my own experience and understanding.The shipwrecks behind me… the glass bottle in my hand… reminded me of one my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands:
Shipwrecked - Jars of Clay
He put it in the bottle and he threw it out to sea
but the tide would not surrender and it floated to the beach
so the message of apology his love would never see
he walked around that island all shipwrecked, and heavy
the scars of early childhood stood showing on the skin
necessary enemy so healing could begin
from the message of apology his heart might soon break free
for now he walks that island all shipwrecked, and ready
low beyond horizon lines across the salty sea
a boat without a captain makes its way to some city
he prays that it would sail its course to lover or to kin
and fan a thirst for searching and finding him again
My life and soul had become shipwrecked.In the process, I had ripped through the lives of others like a tornado, or hurricane rather, out of control.I hit the bottom and the bottom fell out.By the grace of God I found respite and healing, then reconstruction of the deconstruction that was my life.I turned it over to Him and he made miracles.A mighty change occurred.This 'Summer' is far different than any previous 'Summer' before.However, the memories of past failures and mistakes still weigh too heavily on my memories.With this bottle in hand, I decided to metaphorically and symbolically throw them away.I will write a few of the weightier personal matters, shove them inside this bottle and throw it out to the North Sea before I leave.I will give these shipwrecks of mine a proper burial at sea, and let them rest, as the band Bad Haggis sings, in the Water Church:
I will always go to her
Her doors are never closed
She's there
To feed and respite soul
And evenings when I lie awake
I'll slow it down
And recreate our every move
And how we pray
With each new sun we congregate
And some might tell of how they sinned
The night away
We've come to rinse it from our skin
Now if the sea will share with me
I will give in to her
And if the sea should swallow me
I'll rest in the water church
Wild how incredibly applicable the experiences in our lives are.But as I've said before, the heart's ability to interpret things differently at different times and in different ways is dependent upon its state of change.There are opportunities every day to find depth and meaning for us personally.But how many of these do we miss because we rush by or our heart is not adequately focused on that point in time?So many… so many… Learning is eternal.Are we seeking to learn with that intent?About to head off onto another tangent… better stop right now because, as Brad Paisley says, longs sermons can get in the way of livin'! Moving on.
- comments