zinho YES!!!! Martin Jol's back!

Martin Jol "i can't f****** take any criticism"

Martin Jol (on Arsene Wenger) "Everyone saw what happened and I think I did really well to hold myself back. I really don't think he realises how strong I am. Otherwise he wouldn't approach me with headbutts and everything."

Pete Hello everyone! Sorry i've been rubbish replying to messages! Here goes in one using PK's number system: 1- MC i'm sorry i haven't sent you a postcard i've actually bought 4 postcards but haven't sent any. One that i thought would have been good for you had naked african women on it! I'm also sorry that ur bored at work but the fact that i am home in 3 weeks should brighten up your day! 2- Zinho. 1- yes, 2- no, 3- yes i saw it and since then he's made another! 4- thanks, 5- me too, 6- I'm sorry i missed it, 7- 16th september. Hope your still having FUUUN! 3- Pal and Debs. Thanks for your message i'm sure we covered most of those points on the phone! 4- Lou xmas?!! what a lovely surprise! I heard you are now Nepalese or you went there or something?! Hope you're well we should def meet up wen im back, clear out the barn put that snails shell back in place where you keep it and me paul and alan will be there!! 5- Hello to howe family, Win and the heseltine family i'll see you soon! So, thats about it. We arrived in Delhi yesterday and its well hot! Rach is sick with food poisoning so i'm just mincing around Delhi on my own getting stared at cos i don't fit in (mainly because i don't wear chinos pulled up to my nipples and a long sleeve shirt buttoned to the top in the 100 degree heat!) We also saw an old man that looked like Gandi wearing 3 fleeces over his shirt...! Anyway we're going to try to navigate round Rajasthan maybe probly on monday but more importantly i have to try to find a tv showing spurs v man utd tmo!! Take care, PEDER XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Win Hi peter and rachel Went to Joydens Woods last week and saw with your Mum, Peter, all your lovely photo`s of Thailand. Have been seeing a lot about India on tele. Looks very interesting. Can`t wait to see your photo`s. Bet you will love it there. Take care. Tons of Love Nan.

MC Im so bored at work.

zinho Peder piper. 1. Have you picked any peppers? 2. If so was it a pickled pepper? 3. Did you hear about Jens' cock-up? Was very funny. I think you'll like it. 4. Shame about Tottenham. And Man U. I'm gutted for both of us. 5. I like Paul Kiley's system of numbers to make points. So I've stolen his idea. 6. My birthday bender was grrrrrreeeeeeat. 7. When are you back? 8. back to Paul Kiley. I can't wait to read his jokes. Bye bye peder and hezzur!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sue and Chris Hi Pete and Rachel, Happy 21st birthday,Rachel for Friday(texts don't seem to be getting through). Hope you have a relaxing time in that lovely hotel. We've had a look on the internet. You look as if you're having a really good time by all the photos. Enjoy your 2 weeks in Thailand before you fly to India.Try to avoid the floods. See you in September. Looking forward to having you home again. Mum and Dad xxxx

Mum H Hi my lovelies! Loved the latest photos! Looking forward to seeing you both on Friday in Thailand for a relaxing time and some nice food! Dad sends his love and sorry he can't make it! Weather has improved here - supposed to be thousands on the beach in Bournemouth today - look what you're missing! Take care, see you Friday - party on the beach I hope! Lol Mumxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Paul & Debs Hello guys! where to start. i hav a lot i could talk about. i'll start with the most important stuff; 1. i saw steffen freund playing for the world xi in alan balls testimonial. - i didn't go i just saw it on tv - he played extremely well. 2. erm dan and george hav e bought some inflatables. 3. spurs have signed some good players - Kevin Prince Boateng is the only one i haven't told u about i think - i think you'll really like him he's very outspoken. 4. me and deborah are fine - not much exciting news - just workina nd hangin out with usual peeps. 5. zinhos party tmo - should be good. guess where it is? brazil bar? yep. 6. photos are good i like the animal ones 7. curtis has gona and got a tatoo. it says Nicola in fancy writing. We call him the illustrated man. 8. we've been playing 7aside at goals every sunday has been really good - you'll like that when ur back i reckon 9. dans coming over now to play cricket 10. i can't think of much more and i'm not writing that funny stuff so i'll think of some jokes and write something funny. hope you are both having a great time! we're well jealous... especially when we saw the bounty island pics. did they sing u a song when you left? the 'bounty islaaaand.... bounty islaaaand' song? brilliant. right will speak soon - can i call you? or will it cost you to pick up? it wont cost me anyfin obviously. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxpaul and debsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxsexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxsexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Graeme Hi mate, Looks like you and your 20-stone, flatulent girlfriend are having a great time! We'll have to catch up when you return. Take care, Lou P.S. - Forest now have Neil Lennon on their books, look out!

MC

zinho Peder The event of the year is approaching. Gutted that your missing out. Though I'm sure you're not too bothered. these smilie things are pretty weird. when you go to vietnam try snake wine or scorpion wine. Its rice wine with a scorpion or a snake in it. Sposed to make you more macho apparantly. Lates pezzer howezer and rachez hezzar

Ma and Pa H Reg & Ped Loved the slide show, especially South Africa. Sounds like you're both having a fab time! Seems as though you have been gone 5 months instead of weeks! Looking forward to the sous-chef bringing his new culinary skills back to Dorset! Lots of love Mum Hxxxx R&P hope the smiles on your faces are real and not caused by wind. Clearly you're both having a great time - long may it continue. It seems ages since Ma has had to clean up the kitchen after another performance by the Master-chef of Bexley. Enjoy your trip to the max. Love Pa H xxxx