The secret to a masterpiece painting and the Bernabeu visit.

After my long siesta last night i woke up bright and breazy ready to take on the spanish capital. We had already said that we were going to visit real madrid so we jumped on the metro to the station. We got to the bernabeu and bought a tour ticket for €15, we wandered around the place they are the most sucessfull club in europe and boy do they let you know it the trophys were everywhere and all the time the songs were either the real madrid song or we are the champions pumping around the place. We even got a place in the dug out and through the oppositions changing room. Well worth the money.

We grabbed lunch from the supermarket came in at €1.59 for some bread, crisp, cake , water and a mandarin, bargain. Best lunch id had in a while. We then got the tube to the centre of madrid. Copey spotted a museum on the map he wanted to visit. We got there and it was free after 6 so as it was 4 we went to a bar for a few beers. It seemed in spain every beer you buy you always get some side plate of something free. We had some mixed veg, sausage and fish balls over our 3 pints there. The barmaid was lining up mojitos seemed all the locals loved this stuff they were battering them all afternoon.

Six o'clock came and we went to the musuem prado, we saw our first lady boy a picture of a man with his tit out feeding a kid. Definetly weird, i tried to get a picture but a woman stopped me. I had now been to several museums and i now think i know what makes a masterpiece. It has to follow one of these simple rules using the latest in technology in them days it was paint.

1. Be set in a war.

2. Be religous.

3. Show some woman with her t*** out feeding a kid.

So when i get back im going to create my own masterpiece it basically involves taking jordan to afghanistan while harvey sucks on one of her t*** holding the bible all made in stunning high def 3d. Trust me in 400 years it would be considered fine art, Im copyrighting that so please dont beat me to it!

We ate tea in vitimina , copey got ribs , i went for a ham and cheese sandwich. We had our food before our drinks came. We must of then hit madrid at rush hour the trams were packed as much as the streets. We headed back to the hotel we put deportiva and valencia on the tv and we cracked out the wine id bought the other day.