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In our life, someone will cross our path that eventually play a big role in our lives and hold a special place in our hearts. There you go; I know you wouldn't get bored reading this blog of mine if you'll also read my love story …
I may not found the love of my life in Philippines but I'd never stop searching until I finally found the right one for me. As quoted from BO SANCHEZ - never stop searching rather expand the horizon and meet loads of individuals where you can choose. Am not expecting though that I would surely met that someone here in Thailand but what sink into mine is that in here I would have the greater chances of meeting foreign people and exposing myself to different culture and higher possibility of selecting the right one to love and live with.
Somewhere down the road, I've bump into an individual - named DJ from England. So diverse amongst those "falang" (foreigner) that I've met. I have noticed something different every time we hung out together. That no matter how I tried to resist the feeling, no matter how I tried to evade the possibility, it is as if hunting me down and that there is no way of escape. Days, weeks had past still an unexplainable feeling… Spending time together, lying at the benches along the lake whilst watching the brilliant moon and the vibrant stars that scattered like gold dust in the heavens. They were witnesses to our lovely conversation - dreams, plans and ambition in life.
28th July 2555, it's the start of the weekend class and the opening of the OLYMPICS. We waited until 3am just to watch but still energetic because we'll work together aside from the 2-foreign teachers. Right after the class, we take hold of the time left to go somewhere in the middle of the forest doing nothing aside from taking a picture. Ended up drinking to some bar along the way, then, heed to the next bar within the town of which my pinoy friends banned as to be there for some reason. There and then DJ clasped my hands and said "you are amazing" I like the way you are. The words enveloped me in sensations I only dreamed, but then they were actually being felt by every cell in my body. Like a bolt of lightning I got my heart desires. The air seemed to be warmer suddenly. The splendor of being loved filled me.
This is it! A magical moment we all wish would never end. That precious moment when we believe in pirate sails, wonderlands, magic spells and "happily-ever-after"… But then, it will just come and go like the wind, it seems that no matter how much we want it, times take them away. As before we met, has already a flight schedule to Australia. Even then, we manage to enjoy each other's company;
18th August at Khorat, I was invited by the thai couple to witness the English competition whom DJ's been coaching. Bit disappointed but "Mai pen rai", as we are craving for the pizza and instead of pizza hut they brought as to DanKwian- the pottery village. …Then with the rest of the weekdays we had some good time playing badminton had a chat over a cup of coffee at Dans and dinner to some cheap and expensive restaurant.
25th August, As usual Friday night out and got drunk with our friends. Simple life got drunk, sleep for an hour then wake up early for the whole day work on our week-end class at Chempleewittaya School. Hung over but doesn't matter as teaching here is different from ours. Just like minutes of lessons and the rest are games. Simple as that but still don't like it as teaching isn't my passion. But since I don't have yet the opportunity to get out from here so had no choice but to learn to love the environment where I am now and enjoy every moment of the day.
The next day we spent walking at Mo Hin Kao (Stonehenge of Thailand) even go through every cross roads in there and spent some time at the watch tower. I feel like home imagining myself sitting on the top of Fortich Hut at the Ver Over View while on that tower. Then, weekday's celebration of our 1st mansary by feeding the huge fish at the tortoise lake, dinner date and a gym date with some smoothie and waffles. I know I wasn't good enough in handling a relationship but now I think am becoming more matured with it. Just a thought!
1st September, Since I have a lovely weekday's as I had receive a lots of presents from my thai co-teacher, my students and our gorgeous director so think its justifiable to get drunk again. Oooops! Wake up and teach "Banana of the World". They love it! The rest of the day we spent joy riding and a second-time attempt to visit the white sitting Buddha but still not crowned, instead, morning the Saturday night drinking with friends and do the gangnam moves. The next day? Well, am still alive but bedridden.
15th September, had a brilliant weekend at Khon Kaen. Riding on a sung tew and randomly dropped off in the middle of nowhere but still lucky as someone give us a free lift going to KHon Kaen Universirty where we had the next ride going back to town. Even tried to pamper ourselves with an oil massage but wasn't good enough for me. However, café de Forest on the following day expensive though but was really good and the natured-ambiance was so cool. Nature lover!
22nd September, We skipped the Friday night out and reserve some energy for the Saturday night as it's paul's birthday. Groggy we are but we've manage to have a 4-hour biking at the village the next day. What I've got? Well a secret on my butt, lol! It's the dragon fruit plant rather. OMG! its just a normal pine plant where I used to wed at our backyard. Now I know. ..
Lucky me! Not our noodles but my very first jaffa cake from england sent by DJ's mum. T'was really yummy…
Monday night when one of DJ's friend arrives at chaiy. No more bonding time together. But, we'd catch up each other to our coffee shop on Tuesday afternoon and had some good time with friends at the Tuesday market. The day after, Maynard and I decided to have a noontime drinking session at home. Later on, moved to Siam River (don't imagine of how wide it is coz it isn't a river) and then ended up drinking together with DJ, lucas and his twin simbad. The unplanned get together doesn't end up on that river, still have the guts though soaking wet to have a good time in Stang pub and even disco on the other bar. They're really cool to be with. Not knowing, that was the last time we'll spent hanging out together here in chaiy. Really time run so fast when we love and when we are with the one that we love.
29th September, Prior to that day we had another Khon Kaen trip for a 90 days report. As it is our 60 days of being together so must have had something extraordinary moment - it's on the bus- just a bus ride anyway. A day was spent together teaching in chempleewittaya school. It's also the closing ceremony of that extra-weekend class so we are requested to deliver a speech in front of the parents and other VIP of that village and even received some sort of a token (mat and sarong). However, this is the terrible day of my life! DJ left chaiyaphum and last acquainted at Kao san road that night. I never thought it's this painful, when someone very special turned away and said "I'm Sorry" I need to go my friend is waiting for me, I'm Sorry you know it from the start that I will just hurt you because I'm leaving. Those words uttered were like blades of knives, piercing my heart and ripping my very soul. I felt enclosed in an abyss of isolation and such a deep feeling of fatigue thinking of the possibility that I would never have someone who would be with me and love me enough that would never let me go no matter what the cost was. Such loneliness oppressed me, making me fell to a deep sleep. If I only had the power to bind time and space, I would go back to the time when we were still on the process of getting to know each other. I never know; that loving could be such a burden, that love may not always be magical or miraculous, and that in a blink of our eyes love may leave. Love may cause as to weep or even cry a river when that loves bids us goodbye. But the pain that we feel is but a recognition we get for giving ourselves a chance to love and beloved in return, no regrets. It may be painful but the best way to realize that we love much is when we feel the pain we never think love can give. It's painful to say goodbye to the person who means the world to us yet, we know that the only thing we can do is to accept the fact that they can't stay in our lives for as long as we want. I know even if DJ has left me, in my dreams I will still feel the warmth of the laughter, the care and the love and somewhere in the depths of my mind lives a hope that one day, history will repeat itself, who knows in two-year's time. That's why, I don't wanna say GOODBYE because it hurts to say goodbye, I hate to say goodbye, I can't say goodbye. Just see you later!
- comments
Hannah Your are right dear, letting go of someone you love most is not easy to perform... but don't stop believing in your self that you will find a right person in a matter of time... even DJ just left for another adventure in life, surely you will always be apart of so called love and thinking of you so deeply ... Im sure Dj cant find a person like you, who wants to conquer the whole ASEAN country just to be with DJ. I f you only can fly to England to spend the rest of your life with DJ,maybe i wont see you again in the next term....Dont worry you will find another episode of loving another person....that deserves your unconditional LOVE.....so so so so!!!!