About time!! What do you think your doing? Having a holiday??!! I want daily diary accounts of you day please, forget galavanting around Sydney looking for work! I want to hear what your up to!!! Anyway just going to watch Eastenders! See that's exciting, see what your missing out on!! Decorating my lounge, did the glossing of the wood work today. Ate your mothers iced cream and jam bun today, granny and graddad brought it back for me as they went there yesterday, it was a nice bun!! I am sure she will make some when you come home!!! Eastenders started apparently Ben is going to tell phill he's gay!! I could have told him that!!
The teachers told me salvo is ver advanced in maths and is doing stiff that reception kids don't do!! Genius see!! Donato wants to take all the credit for that gene!!
Weathers turned s*** you will be pleased to hear, autum is well a truly here, jumpers on!!!
So are you speaking the language yet? Don't come home with your sentances going up!!!
I am going now so good luck with the job search, hope you get something soon.
So make sure you blog as I always check it!
Have fun hear from you soon lots of hugs and kisses!!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dear Jo and Joe,

Well you are both safely in Australia now so the planning and preparation is over and it's happening! Time for me to make a contribution (no not cash!).

This letter writing thing may seem strange to you Joe but it's something I have done for some time now and I find that that it gives me the chance to communicate more eloquently with my children. In the past these letters have been part b******ing, part view point establisher, plan maker etc. They have never meant to replace conversations but more a chance to reflect on past conversations or events and to set the scene for the future. Jo will explain. It means I can bang on about all sorts and nobody gets stroppy and walks off half way through and if they do, they can carry on where they left off when they've stopped sulking!

This one is a little different of course as no b******ing's are called for (yet!) and its just about a bit of worldly wise advice (probably unwanted and almost certainly un-needed) from someone who rarely leaves his shed (sorry, Studio) and pays scant regard to any form of grammar, spelling or punctuation.

I was going to do this with bullet points but I was worried I might be tempted into a full on power point presentation!!! so rambling paragraphs will have to do. Most of this is obvious but worth saying all the same.

First and foremost look after each other. Even if you're sick of the sight of each other remember you are each other's support group. You are lucky that you are together so it won't be quite so daunting. Remember you won't always want to do the same stuff so try to work out a compromise (that is often what life is about as a 'couple'!). If one of you really isn't happy doing something, forget it. You won't be able to do everything so don't worry about missing things and just enjoy the stuff you do manage to do.

Try to enjoy all of it. Make the most of the s***ty jobs you may find yourself doing and (as my dear old dad always says) treat it as an exercise! Learn from everything you do even if its 'I never want to do that again'. At least you know!

Don't take silly risks. Dodgy hotels, lifts, people etc. It's easy to think that because everyone speaks English that it's a bit like home. It's not as much of a culture shock as some continents but never the less it's a different place. Australia is a very big place so don't get lost. Sounds stupid but plenty of people have.

Avoid excessive alcohol intake! It makes you more emotional, punchy etc. It lays you open to problems and upset.

If you get homesick just remember that within 2 days of coming back you'll be sick of home. A year is a long time if you're not enjoying yourself. If you're having a ball it will fly by so don't hang around too long if you're not enjoying it. Move on. If at any time (1 week, 1 month or 1 year) you feel that you have had enough, come home. That really isn't a negative thing to say it's just about realising that you are finished with something. Don't let it become chore to be there. Australia (and everywhere else hopefully) will always be there for another day. It's not your last chance. Be very aware of each other's feelings about this. One persons dream can be another person's nightmare.

You will undoubtedly get fed up with each other from time to time (as previously mentioned). Don't let this trip come between you, it's only a long holiday after all. It may lead to something much bigger but keep things in context for the moment. You may have a big falling out over problems in the middle of nowhere but it doesn't mean that you won't live happily together for years if you're in Cardiff, Oxford or Istanbul (If that's what you want). Brief but extreme situations shouldn't be allowed to affect the rest of your life together so be careful.

Drink lots of water or you will shrivel up! Use lots of sun block or you will burn and shrivel up!! When travelling don't find yourself stuck out in the open on hot days waiting for busses!!! Do not think that beer is a viable form of hydration. Never under estimate just how far from nowhere you can find yourself. I hope you will have got a grip on the scale of things before you start hiring vehicles but take advice from others about sensible routes.

Don't play with spiders, crocodiles, stone fish, snakes, platypuses (!), jelly fish, big bitey fish or any other wildlife. Take good note of lifeguards on beaches even if they do wear funny little hats.

Interesting 'facts'.

My general knowledge of Australia is not strong so some of the following may not be true! Most of it is based on QI, Bill Bryson, my limited imagination, unrealistic assumption and Wikipedia. There is also a some fibbing in there.

Australians never cook indoors. 98% of the population are either called Bruce or Shiela (Kylie being the obvious exception). Most of their young get eaten by Dingo's. No one lives in the middle. The 'Blue Mountains' aren't (it's the trees or something). The further North you go, the hotter it gets (weird?). Jo, your great great Uncle Fred Young ('Flammin' Fred) built the Sydney harbour bridge (with help). Crocodile Dundee was not a Crocodile and was not from Dundee. Rolf Harris is the only Australian ever to find fame in the western world. Oh, and Kylie. Also Dame Edna Everage…. Mel Gibson……. Amongst the many famous Australians are …… you get the idea. They have never heard of any of our famous people. Except the Queen who is also their Queen (coincidence or what!). Kangaroo's and Wallabies look like the same animal but are different sizes (medium and large. Like Costa's, there doesn't seem to be a small!) Koala bears are constantly pissed on Eucalyptus leaves (poisonous to humans Joe so don't even think about it).There are no snakes in Australia. No, sorry that's Ireland. There are snakes in Australia! Wombat is an animal not a ball game. Ozzy rules football shorts are not a good look (Joe). Flip flops are called thongs but I don't know what they call pants that go up your bum (uncomfortable I suspect). You can't walk to any other country from Australia. It is unwise to swim to any other country from Australia. The Great Barrier Reef is actually the foundations for an extension which was never finished (would have been named 'New South East Dorset,). Ned Kelly was either a nice guy or an outlaw, nobody seems sure. He famously wore a steel helmet and breastplate to face the Police. They shot him in the legs! Well he wasn't a genius that's for sure.Some early explorers were convinced there was a great sea in the middle of Australia. One expedition hauled a bloody great boat inland for hundreds of miles. When the horses died they pulled it themselves. They all died I believe. The derogatory term 'Drongo' is the name of a 1920's racehorse which was famously hopeless. The horse was named after a type of bird (I think the birds are ok, just the horse that was rubbish). The Tasmanian Devil is not really a devil and looks nothing like the cartoon character (they bite but are not venomous as far as I know). The last Tasmanian Tiger died in the middle of the last century in a zoo. It looked like a stripy dog. Hunted to extinction by farmers, it is now thought that it was not capable of the livestock damage it was blamed for due to the shape of its jaw! Bikini's have been outlawed in Victoria since 1958. Hats are obligatory in outlying suburbs of Perth. You've heard of 'dress down Friday', well a small town called Warumungu has declared the second Thursday of every month as 'Naked Thursday'. Julia Creek is a well known Botanist and sister-in-law of comedian Alan Davies. Marsupials are not confined to Australia. There are a number of species in South and North America and one living in Oslo called Olaf. The Nullabor Plain is the biggest lump of limestone in the world. The longest straight piece of railway in the world runs across it (nearly 500km). Believe it or not the second longest piece isbetween Didcot and Swindon although, strangely, its slightly shorter from Swindon to Didcot due to the curvature of the Earth. The Platypus is a mammal which lays eggs. The early examples (just skins) which found there way back to Europe were initially discounted as a frauds and fakes. The longest fence in the world is in Australia (3500 miles). It keeps the Dingo's in (or out depending on where you're stood). The box jelly fish has killed more Aussies than sharks, spiders etc put together. It sometimes rains in Sydney! Water goes down the plug hole in the opposite direction (same for anywhere south of the equator). It took me 15 hours and thirty seven minutes to drive from Adelaide to Perth on Google Earth Streetview (my eyes hurt!). It would have been quicker but I got a puncture just outside Kalgoorlie! The guy that cycled around the world said the most memorable thing about the Nullabor was dead Kangaroos and Coke bottles full of urine (lorry drivers wee in bottles so they don't have to stop then throw them out of window). Somewhere there is an interesting geological formation called the Devils Marbles. There are no active volcanoes in Australia.

Ok I think that's it for the moment. I've rambled rather but if I come across anything else you should be aware of I will let you know. This document has been approved by your mother so most of it has probably been removed as 'inappropriate'! If you do get time its worth reading up on the Platypus. It is a genuinely unusual creature which stands out in a continent full of unusual creatures. It's also venomous of course (well, why wouldn't it be?).

Be good and enjoy yourselves.

Lots of love,

Dad/Alan.

xxxxxxxxx.

Good morning or good evening! Well it's 9am saturday morning here!!! Hope your both good after that long journey, hope your tears have dried up and your smiling!! Let the adventure begin!!! Hear from you soon lots of love xxxxxxxx

Hope you both arrived safely and not to knackered. Xx have fun

Leaving tomorrow.....

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