Brisbane: Koalas and other lazy creatures

On my last full day in Brisbane I underwent some form of mental assault and subsiquently broke all previous records by doing something with my day other than sitting around in parks. To be fair I'd booked the ticket to the Koala Sanctuary the previous day so a court would deem it premeditated but none the less it remains a radical and positive departure.

To get to the Sancturay I'm going on a cruise up the Brisbane river, leaving from a jetty just next to the art galleries on a boat called Mirimax 2. There's about thrity passengers onboard divided between in the inside and of the boat, where there's a cafe, the rear andf the top deck, which was where I sat. The weather had been a bit naff so far today and was lightly raining as I set off, cue people edging their chairs under cover. There wasn't room for me to do the same so instead I stuck on my waterproof. By the time I took it off, because the weather had decided to make a sharp U-turn and instead opted to be a decent hot sunny day, I had actually started to sweat a little. Under the circumstances I decided it would be inappropriate to complain.

On route we were played a taped commentary about various sights along the riverside, only occasionally interupted by the captain when information was out of date and in need of correction. Most of it was interesting enough at the time, expensive houses excepted, but to be brutally honest not a lot of it has stuck in my mind. And whilst attempts at humour were to be applauded my cringe metre was approaching breaking point by the time we reached our destination.

At one point the tape was advising us to pay close attention to some trees on our right because Fruit Bats nest there and we should be able to see them hanging from the branches asleep. However the captain then cut in to say they had 'vanished' this year so we probably wouldn't see any. We were in luck though as a few minutes later he spotted a small cluster and even threw the boat into reverse so we could get a decent look. Whilst really all we could see were some vague black silhouettes handing from the upmost braches it was impresssive none the less.

I'd soon get a closer look as the first thing I came across in the Sanctuary was none other than some Fruit Bats. You could see much more detail from half a metre away than from twenty and I can safely say they looked like...Fruit Bats. I should at this point mention my animal description abilities are poor beyond belief. Bodes well for the next paragraphs but don't say you've not been forewarned.

The Sanctuary itself was very small and, thankfully, about as far from a zoo as it's possible to get. It was all open plan (except for the birds) and it was unusual to be walking right up to such animals without a barrier between us. First I slowly wandered through the bird cages. They were most definatly birds. To be honest they weren't really that novel to me and would soon be forgotten as I got to grips with some far less familiar animals. I'm sure they mirror my indifference so I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

'Cuddling a Koala' is a misleading phrase. What they should really say is 'ploping the unsuspecting half-out-of-it eyed critter into your hands and then quickly taking a picture before it realises you're not a tree.' And charge you 16 dollars for the pleasure. To be fair it is a nice photo and it was cool to have a close look. I can also report that they are much heavier than you might expect, not that I think you spend much time thinking about that sort of things. The first Koala I held was too restless so I actually held two, a sort of buy one get one free deal. They had names which I probably should have made the effort to remember. Hell, they wouldn't answer if you used them so why bother.

There are over 100 Koalas in the Sanctuary and they are grouped into age groups from a nursery through to a retirment home. Almost all of them are asleep or look like they're on the way, which perhaps is statistically likely when you consider they spend twenty hours a day unconcious. They spend the other 4 slowly eating. Doesn't sound a bad life though the threatened extinction (due to loss of habitat...see I did learn something) might prey on your mind from time to time.

The next area I went into had both Emus and Kangaroos in it. Emus are bigger than me so a bit threatening what with the large legs and beak and all but apparently are so stupid that were I to hide behind them they'd be baffled as to where I'd gone (I may be using some artistic license there!) They were very tame in the event and mostly just stood around waiting for people to feed them, food being available to buy from the gift shop.

Being amazed by Kangaroos is a very touristy thing to do. You can easily see them milling about during the day and a comparison would be somebody coming over to the UK and being dumb struck in the presence of a cow. But I don't care, they're interesting to me and standing amongst around fifty of 'em whislt they lazed around in the shade was probably worth the trip more than the Koalas. Ask me again in a few months when they seem more normal and I expect you'll get a different answer but for now I'm holding to it.

Wombats give Koalas a good run in the laziness stakes, I didn't actually have the honour of seeing one awake. Instead they were flat out on their backs, limbs poking about in the air and tongue hung down with saliva halfway to the floor...OK I imagined the drool but it adds nicely to the image. It was hardly the most flattering of angles to look at them at but it did raise a smile.

There was also a small area with lambs, tiny horses and, for some reason, dozens of Guinea pigs. It was very out of place and confused me immensly. Who comes to a Koala sanctuary to see Guinea pigs? Are they exotic here or something?

There were some small lizards too. They were lizards.

On the cruise back I went completely mental and went to the downstairs cafe abd brought my first drink in Australia, XXXX seemed appropriate. Drinking it whilst sat on the deck sailing down a pictureque river in the glaring hot sun...there were worse places to be...