Why isn't tallness a recognised disability?
Saturday night was a triumph, Coldplay were awesome. Not my favourite band on record but live they are a different kettle of fish and Chris Martin didn't once say "So er, lets make trade fair and all that poverty history and stuff yeah?", which always annoys me. The best part of the night for me was when they annouced that Shane Warne was there. The guy is a legend and even though im English I still felt moved to join in with the chants of "Warney, Warney'. Im hoping this will assist me in my citizenship application. I was then looking forward to watching the England match but I won't mention anymore on that, only that I successfully stayed awake till 4 to watch it. After 3 hours sleep it was off to meet Nicola to pick up the car and head out on the Great Ocean Road for 2 days. I was driving and Nicola was on Koala watch. This was a very important job and she didn't disappoint. She spotted one hanging from a tree with one hand and muncing on some leaves with the other without a care in the world. I instantly fell in love with the little creature and would like one of my own. If only id known this before I left work, not that a knife/fork/spoon in one and darth vader voice changer mask aern't great leaving presents mind. We spent the night in Port Campbell and stopped off at various places along the way, including Torquay which plays host to the World Surfing Championships and the Cafe that makes the slowest tea in the world ever. On the Sunday we took to the road back to Melbourne, me driving again and Nicola now expanding her 'animal watching' empire to including Kangaroos aswell as Koalas. First stop was to see the 12 Apostles only there was a twist as some of them were hidden, I felt slightly short changed, even though it was free. Next was the Airey's Inlet Lighthouse and this was far more rewarding. The Lighthouse is a pretty big deal cause it was the first one used to guide in the immigrant ships way back when. When settled down for a tea and a short bread esq cookie to watch a video about the lighthouse and got chatting to an elderly couple from NZ who had just been holidaying in Sunny Essex. They quaintely asked me what village I was from, for those of you that know Hornchurch, it certainly isn't a village. While allocating seats for the video one man sent his wife off to get a better seat and he said he'd "cuddle upto this fella here". I think I may be sending out the wrong signals somehow but I was nevertheless pleased at the lasting bonds of friendship that we'd formed. After picking up a sandwich in Apollo Bay that was slightly heavy on the lettuce it was off to the Great Otway Rootop Walkway. I enjoyed this because the walkway was a bit like the bridge the celebrities have to walk over to get to their camp in "im a celeb get me out of here", other than that it was a bit of a box ticking excercise. We then headed off for the main event, the night that would fulfill our destiny at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow pub in St Kilda for Neighbours night. The pub is alledgly a "Traditional British Pub" but I challenge you to find a pub in Britian showing Neighbours episodes on the big screen and with Harold Bishop there making kinky jokes. Our table contained 2 girls who im sure were lesbians who were heading over to NZ soon so we swapped stories of things to do in NZ and OZ, Nicola even took notes in her incredibly super efficient fashion. So the stars there were Harold/Dylan and Elle. Id never seen Elle before but stone the flaming crows Alisa cause she's a fox, she's a babe, if she was president she'd be called Baberaham Lincoln (name the film). One girl asked Harold "do you really play the Tuba?" to which he replies "no, but ive got a mouth organ you can have a go on" and then referred to Home and Away as "hOmo and [email protected]". Shocking. When getting my picture taken with Jelly belly his minder, seeing my stature told me to go easy on the handshake cause Harold has arthritis. I accepted this in good spirit and managed to hide my disappointment that I wasn't going to get a hug. Jellybelly is making a shocked looking up gesture in the photo, he never misses a comedy moment. It was also odd and annoying that people were smoking in the pub as Victoria is a non smoking state. On closer expection when you see that the night is run by the 'backpackerking' you realise that the pub must be an independent state and exempt from such laws. Smoking is bad kids. All in all a great night, I can't wait to get back and be a student again and watch it twice a day.