Mikee Mikee Mikee, at last i am here in sri lunka! no thanks to Bangalore 'we do you good deal smelly frenchman' taxi company bandits. i managed the sneaky trip very cheapy trip with taxi, ferry and meal thrown in with Eeza Azbeen travel, only 50000 rupees and my bike!!! so hot footing to you now, tell Doug Deep i only eat authentic french cuisine, the naughty little chef man!!! my petanque balls are swinging below my big shorts at the thought of a game with you and eema, much better than the silly 'ooh what a hard leather thing you've thrown at my middle stump' cricket...

Mikee and Eema. My second cousin twice removed from Bangalore has phoned me to tell that you need taxi to Kandy this weekend. I can offer special offer for friend of my cousin twice removed. Very good rate. He also say that you are looking for cricket bat. Left or right handed?? I joke of course. My very good friend Will Ripurandoff has many good bats all hand made in Turkey. Kookabura, MRFF, Grey Nicols and Gun More. He can make you good deal for more than one. What about your mate Tanner. I'm sure he will pay good price. Maybe we both make money!!! Phone number of taxi in gents toilet on corner of street behind your mud hut.

Monsieur LeCont. Apologies for not being in touch earlier! We are in a small village called Pusselleyaya and would very much like a visit from you. A few warnings though, due to extended Monsoons i fear it would be near impossible to get to us by bike, the roads have been destroyed. The elephants are everywhere as are giant squirrels and they have a penchent for French men! Also there are more frightening creatures lurking in the hedges and rivers, the locals only call them the Guignol, we are not sure what these things are but beware! If you still wish to join us then please let me know, we have no address, only GPS and i shall give you this information. I will also inform our house keeper Mr Doug Deep about your coming so he can get a bed ready and our cook Jar Vegemiteformeanddad to prepare some daal for you.

And yes the cricket world 'CUP' you mention does involve the silly game we once played. I would refrain from such terms as calling cricket silly though as the locals seem to like it and i have heard rumours of anti-criket fan bashing, particulalry in the slums around Colombo and in small villages near the Wasgamuwa National Park.

After all my warnings maybe its best you stay in Varkala, the locals are quite friendly and i believe the local taxi service quite reliable and not the rip off merchants you encountered in Bangalore.

I look forward to your reply. Your friend.

Mikee.

Mr Pierre LeCont. I refute your claim about not existing and your "boy cow" accusations. We have checked records and no outside calls received in the past month. My St Palais cousin Mr "Fairy Boy" knows of your address and will be paying a visit with the boys. I do not bear a grudge and will offer you more help in finding this Mikee and Em. They are now in Sri Lanka so if you make your way to Ferry port at Varkala my Uncle will give you very cheap rate for crossing. Please ask for Char boy E.Dontgiveasheet. He will be your servant for crossing time. I also hope that your arms have recovered.

Very very welcomes. Please see we are open 24 hours and are suppliers of such items as Gran has said to keep children interested in your teaching with things like paper coloured pencils and glue. We do not sell scissors, they are very very dangerous and many roughneck squirells try to buy or even steal them from us. A tip Em and Mike, do not encourage squirells, they are a bad bad bunch

Welcome welcome Mike and Emma to Sri Lunka. Please please accept our hospitality! I am concerned,however, that you should choose to watch the ones who wear canary yellow against a side that contains such unstable charecters seen earlier in the messages as Mr E and I Dontgiveasheet. Vagabonds. Sri Lunka will prove that we are the kings of cricket, 'smashing' as 'the chap' says...

Hey Mikee ans Em, wher are yous? i havbe made the verevery long journies to Varkela on my bike, you dont seem to be here!!!! i tried to telephone the 'Bangalore taxis' but they do nt exist, bigger boy cows than st palais 'fairy boy' taxis, so i have rolled up my arms and got my head down and cycled all the way!!!! what is this 'cricket world coup', is this the sill silly game you used to play with thos fuuny girls anna and meellia? contact me!!!!

Absolutely smashing to hear that cricket has been played! Simply exquisite. I must say though, is it not a tad concerning that Mr Leopard struts around by night, taking the lives of chickens, in quite ghastly fashion to boot! One almost feels theres need for the raging beast to be pursued through the deepest darkest depths of the jungle! For an epic battle of wit, courage and strength between man and monster. If there is call, I am on excellent terms with the hunter from the film Jumanji. He's the man for you should anymore chickens go astray! A remarkable man might I add. He will rid you of your dreaded night stalker! And then it is back to the Kings House for tea and treats. Truly, a day of leisure! Breakfast with the Queen, followed by hours of pomp in the Lords Rounds. What ho! But I digress. And I talk nonsense. Which is customary of me. Sounds like you guys are seriously having a great time though. The photos look awesome, and by all accounts your doing a sterling effort bringing education to the younglings of Sri Lanka. However, I am concerned with the level of English that The Harpie is bringing to the classroom. I have always been less than impressed with her grammar. Let us pray she passes on no bad habits to innocent and fresh minds! Keep enjoying it guys!

Hey one and all. I hereby resign from all blog writing with immediate effect and hand over the keyboard with immediate effect!

Brief news, tomorrow we are off to an aboriginal (well the sri lankan version of aboriginal) village and then monday we have been given the day off and are joining the conservationalists trekking elephants in the national park, all day! Very exciting, even the 5.30am leave!! Next weekend we are off for a weekend in Kandy where cricket things will be purchased. World Cup update, we have decided not to go to Sri Lanka Pakistan and have now purchased tickets for Australia vs Pakistan in Colombo on the 19th March. Its easier to get to from the elephant orphanage. Oh and the most exciting news today is that we have cold beers in the fridge! Im off to have one. Then back in my cage for the night.

Great to be updated with life in Sri Lanka. Both of you have missed your vocation. There must be a niche for a new occupation " blog writers for travellers". Can't wait to see pics of the village and your mud hut visitors. Mike's foreign clothing appears to have disappeared. Love the trousers Em. I agree with Gran. You must have learn't something from watching Blue Peter for all those years. Beech hedge trimmed for another year if anyones intersted!! Only minor cuts. Hopefully the weekend has given you a chance to explore and devise Mondays lessons. Sounds like your both having a great time. Long may it continue. M&J

Paper .coloured pencils ,glue and scissors is all you need keeps them busy for hours . you dont need to speak the language to teach that Take care stay safe Love Nan

Paper .coloured pencils ,glue and scissors is all you need keeps them busy for hours . you dont need to speak the language to teach that Take care stay safe Love Nan