After non stop partying in Koh Phangnan i headed to Koh Tao for a chill out. I ended up going with 3 Israelie girls, Tootie, Estlee and Sivan. Tootie's English is faultless but her 2 compatriots arent so great and as a result much of the ferry journey across was lost it translation. Our attempts to recreate the Titanic scene were also cut short by a storm.

Oh, before i continue ive just realised i never mentioned in my last blog i got a bamboo tattoo. They are of the permanent kind and mine is a dragon on the bottom left of my back. People you meet will tell you that they dont hurt as much as normal tattoos. THEY ARE LYING. I was constantly being poked in the back for 7 hours, its like chinese torture!! (although if it was really torture i would blatantly have spilled the beans after 20 minutes, trust me!!) So now i permanently have a dragon on my back!!!

Koh Tao is a small island but none of us had done any research prior to getting there. When we arrived on shore i was frantically trying to read the rough guide whilst being harrassed by numerous thai guys waiting to rip us off. I was their main focus of attention as i was the only man and spoke the best English. I was about ready to throttle one of them so we sought refuge in a cafe to gain our bearings.

We caught a soaking wet open top taxi/safari thingy to Sairi beach and set about looking for somewhere to stay. These taxi trips often feel life threatening and despite tootie's best efforts to throw herself onto the road, and my equally enthusiatic efforts to follow her we survived. Normally when i search for guest houses i will check out 2 or 3 and then choose the cheapest as its a real pain when you have your backpack on and your tired. (plus im just plain lazy, all this hunting around to save a quid just isnt worth it) Unfortunately for me Israelis are penny pinchers. We dragged ourselves around 8 places. Realising i was close to suicide they finally settled on the 1st one that we looked at. (I love it when i waste 2 hours of my life sweating blood and guts for nothing, its a ball!!)

Koh Tao only has 4 or 5 bars and just a few more resturantes. A lot of people from the the full moon headed there, and with it being so small we were constantly bumping into people we knew which was pretty cool. The bars are a lot more chilled out as well, i finally got to here some guitar music which was like an orgasm in my ears.

The next day was spent chilling out at the beach before a night that was largely similar to the one before. I did get to watch Arsenal beat West ham. We've been winning a lot recently, don't know if anyone noticed?? There was a lot of Lady Boys in Koh Tao and needless to say with my boyish good looks and natural charm im a prime target!! (arrogance takes a while to be picked up so they tend not to notice my faults) At one point i got cornered and i literally had to duck beneath ITS arms and run away. Anyone who knows me well knows that i don't run unless its an emergency or im seeking pity.

Everyone goes to Koh Tao to get your license to become a scuba diving instructor. Its the cheapest place in the world to do it but i never had time so thats another excuse to head back to Thailand.

The next day the 4 of us headed to Ko Samui. I had spent one night there before and i am pleased to say that this time there were no pimps or Mafia involved. Tootie had been there before so she knew a good place to stay (sparing us the 2 hour farce that we had in Koh Tao) and she also knew where the decent parties were.

As this was my last real night out in Thailand the Israeli girls decided we would all get battered in my honour. The only problem being that they are lightweights. (Thats right people, im actually hardcore in Thailand) So they were legless and i was sober, although like a world class sprinter i caught up pretty quickly. We had an awesome night dancing away to the same 20 songs that seem to be on repeat everywhere in Thailand.

The combination of another sleep deprived night, too much alcohol and early checkout ensured that my 5 hour trip on a tiny speed ferry was a miserable one. The boat was constantly rocking and i spent the whole time cocentrating on deep breaths and not being sick. The guy next to me clocked this and moved seats pretty sharpish. I then caught a 5 hour bus to Bangkok (the first one without theft) and arrived at midnight.

I knew that i was just around the corner from Khosan Road and could easily have walked it but i wanted one last tuk tuk ride. The driver obviously thought i was stupid and took me around the block twice so that i didnt think i was being ripped off. I knew i was being ripped off, i was infact ripping myself off!!

Midnight isn't the best time to arrive into Khosan road. The ratio by this point has largely shifted towards hookers, yobs and tramps. I got myself a no frills room and went back out. (when i say no frills i must have been next to a fish market, the place stunk so bad i was hiding under the duvet trying to use my mosquito head net as some kind of air filter. It didnt work. These were dark times!!) I remember having a good time in Bangkok before but this time i hated it. The place stinks and all the pople look proper dodgy. Luckily i found a Canadian in the same state of mind and we had a beer and a b****. I also managed to get a good deal on a new man chain.

The next day i flew to Sydney. My month in Thailand was awesome and i have to go back. There is so much more that i want to do. I didn't get robbed, sleep with a ladyboy, and only have a minor crack addiction so im pretty proud of myself. (Thats a joke Mum, i couldn't get enough of the ladyboys, also joking, ill shut up now/stop typing, whatever)