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And so my time in Tokyo ends. Rather than spend my last day wandering the street before my 9pm flight I sit writing out a small memoir of my experiences on a strange keyboard that seems to lack any useful punctuation.
Arriving of the plane from Heathrow with a big `I`m travelling, everything is just super` smile on my face, I soon realised I had come to a country where I was essentially illiterate. Undeterred, I cunningly made use of English translations to work my way into the city. Meeting two girls who were staying in the same hostel as me, and apparently leaving on the same day, we determined to make our way there together...and promptly got lost down the myriad unamed backstreets that make up most of Tokyo. Still, language is no barrier, and after some pointing at maps and frantic flailing of arms by the locals to indicate directions we were soon at our desired location.
Japan appears to be a land of no crime - bikes are left out recklessly on the pavement overnight without a lock, and vending machines stand at every street corner without being smashed or having `Nick luvz Lucy 4eva` scrawled on then. Being a wide eyed, ponderous gaijin I was not expected to follow Japanese customs exactly, but a little conformity was expected. This unfortunately meant I couldn`t eat in public. I only worked this out after attracting horrified looks as I shoved a baguette down my throat on the metro (which is a fraction of the cost of London Underground, while being infinitely cleaner and more efficient). On top of that people here are expected to wear face masks when ill - a good idea maybe, but any poor school kid being made to wear one in Britain would be mercilessly beaten up.
I spent my days wanering around small back streets, every one of which seems to have its one room drinking den (they`re hardly big enough to be called pubs) and a variety of shops selling various useless knick knacks. Every so often I`d come across a major sight - these come in two varieties; fancy shrines or tall skyscrapers. Japan does both of these very well, and if I like you enough some day I`ll cruelly force you to sit through a photographic journal of my adventures, with many pictures of said sights. I spent almost an hour talking to an old Japanese man who seemed to be collecting sticks, mainly because I was too polite to say I had to go. He may have been a tramp. In any case he gave me a detailed analysis on the differences between westerners and the Japanese - essentially we can take more alcohol and don`t feel the cold so much. He also told me that all Japanese food was getting supplanted by Chinese dishes, and how to chat up Japanese girls. I`m not sure whether chat up tips from an old tramp are worth using or not. After finally escaping his mental entrapment I felt very good about myself for having spoken to a local in a situation that didn`t involve a financial transaction.
As it turns out, a friend from university was in town on business. As my phone won`t work in Japan we hastily agreed a meeting over Facebook - never a good idea. How people ever managed to meet up without mobile phones I`ll never know. After wandering the bright streets of Shinjuku, one of the main business areas, for a while I eventually ran in to him as he came out of a business dinner. We went to a 45th floor bar in a fancy hotel and had a real Lost in Translation moment, drinking while looking out over an illuminated Tokyo. Unforunately for me though, George is not as good looking as Scarlet Johansson. The night continued in a seedy shot bar in the expensive but vibrant nightlife district of Roppongi, our drinking somewhat enforced as the metro closes at 12 and no night buses run, so It wasn`t until 5:30 that I stumbled back into the hostel feeling very sorry for myself and my liver.
Tokyo is a city of high rise buildings, which are crammed into every little space available. Often a narrow 9 storey block with only one flat on each floor is sandwiched in between two regularly-sized houses.From some of the taller buildings you can look at the city from on high, including the Tokyo Tower, which is basically a taller rip off of the Eiffel Tower but painted orange and white to distract from the fact that it is a taller rip off of the Eiffel Tower. Upon reaching the tower I joined a large queue, mainly because large queues tend to lead somewhere good. With a man and his performing monkey providing enertainment, much to my delight, the crowd of people moved quickly, and before long I found myself 250 metres up and surveying the vast urban sprawl of Tokyo, which stretches as far as you can see even from that height.
Never being a liker of fish I avoided sushi like the plague. I did occasionally skip McDonalds though, and went to some little Japanese restaurants, once more feeling very culturally enlightened as I prodded the English language menu and mumbled kudusai (please) at the waitress. The food was suspiciously similar to what you find in Chinese restuarants. Maybe those chat up tips would work.
Come my last day in Tokyo I packed my bag and merrily wondered downstairs, excited about the propect of Australian sun. Checking my flight details online I soon realised that my flight wasn't actually until the next day. I could put this down to jetlag, but I think we all know it was just sheer laziness on my part. I hastily booked another hostel and ran away from the shame of my stupidity, cheerily maintaining to others that I was off to the airport and vowing never to let anyone know of such daftness. Soon after I resolved company was better than dignity, and I spent the night getting free sypathy drinks off a girl from the former hostel who works in a bar, before retiring to my new hostel, which is apparently empty apart form myself, with its weird cubicle beds, which are disconcertingly like coffins. This new hostel charges 100 yen to use the shower (about 50p) so out of principle I haven't washed today. I check out at 11 but don't fly until 9pm, which should be interesting.
If you have read this far then you clearly have too much time on your hands, but thanks anyway. I can't be arsed to spell check this, so put any grammatical/spelling errors down to that. Hopefully my next instalment will be a little shorter, and actually say something useful and profound about where I've been. But don't count on it.
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