so, for the benefit of those of you who don't hear from me regularly, I am in Phuket now but I will retroactively blog about my time in Hanoi as I've been way too lazy to do so beforehand.

I had such high expectations for Hanoi, being the capital city of the country that so far I've liked the most and it was a bit of a let down to see that past the turtle, two pagodas and some average shopping malls, there wasn't very much to see. The shopping was also definitely much better elsewhere ( I'm thinking bkk, hcm and KL).

The weather was piss poor, just about 10-15 degrees and rainy the entire time which pretty much ruined all of the sightseeing in program especially the long awaited and critically acclaimed Halong bay cruise.

Ok I had a spectacular cabin, with my own private deck ( apparently once again the staff pitied me for travelling alone and took it upon themselves to upgrade my accommodation for me to not feel like such a loser) but aside from stunning views which were not all that stunning in the end cos of the rain and fog and a floating market which closely resembled a western trailer park, nothing really made an impression.

Upon getting back to Hanoi I had a chance to experience the city further...and unfortunately, there wasn't much to discover. I purchased 15 dvd ripoffs of brand new movies for approximately 10 dollars and that was pretty much the highlight of my stay in Vietnam's capital city.

I have to say that my opinions are strictly those of a tourist who felt let down by a city which I expected to be picturesque but is rather, a full functioning city, so similar to the western ones we're used too, I probably wouldn't be able to tell them apart.

I had heard horrible things about the traffic in Hcm city but maaaaannn in Hanoi they take it to a whole new level. On my way from the airport to the hotel we almost got in 4 major, could-have-been fatal accidents, two of which involved intense breaking and skidding and screeching wheels and my entire life flashing before my eyes.
I more than once contemplated asking the driver whether he had escaped a mental hospital and whether the voices in his head were telling him to go 'faster bruuuuuh' but soon decided pissing the possible-sociopath off wasn't worth the 50 cent roaming charges to use google translate.
All th while the longest most painfully reinvented remix of 'don't wan no short zick man' was playing on the radio. Ironic that an asian man would be so into that song, don't you think?

anyways, I for sure agree with the song and I most certainly do not want a Vietnamese man. i know I have before complained about not being a fan of Italian men but dude, at least they stop short of picking their nose and flinging their findings out the window and then using the same alarmingly long pinky nail to pick their teeth, scratching their nuts with pathos, snorting loudly, spitting loudly, snorting THEN spitting loudly, burping and farting like farm animals.
At times I found it hard to hide my gag reflex, God help me!

One night, falling victim to serious lonely traveller sindrome, I headed to a notorious bar street and ended up sitting in a sports bar, called 'le pub' ( oh my, what wit and imagination, creative genius!!) where, to my surprise it was Vodka night! had a couple of drinks there, met a couple of Canadians then met an American guy, had nice chats, attempted to make him sing disney songs ( ahah wifey and roomie, I am keeping up our tuesday night traditions from afar), until the police came and shut the place down. #buzzkill

In my spare time I read a bit about Vietnam in my Lonely planet guide and in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have. This is what I got: Vietnam has the highest growth in numbers of HIV positive people- omg I need to disinfect EVERYTHING. They have some awful diseases which have no cure and no way of being prevented- I should call that kid with no immune system who lives in a bubble and see if he's willing to trade it for my car. or house, or whatever, I need the bubble! Vietnam is home to some wormlike parasites that will attack you and crawl under your skin -holy f*** man-eating worms! and it went on and on and on like that for about an hour. My paranoia hit an all time high when I tried to take apart the bed to check for bedbugs. Thankfully my now favourite tv show ( asia's next top model) came on tv at the time and it eased my mind.

Over all I loved Vietnam, definitely a gorgeous place to visit and I will miss its beauty dearly. I hope to go back soon as I would like to run on the less touristic tracks someday.

love you loads

xx