Hi guys,

This is a cry for help: I have spent the past half hour watching Sochi women ice hockey in some sort of an enchanted daze... what is happeniiiiing!? I normally skip out any sport that is not figure skating but dammit, I find these swiss and swede chicks kicking each other's asses on Ice quit entertaining.. although I expected there to be more blood than mascara on the rink.

I think this may be part of a very complex growth process which will take me down the path to holiness. For example I have become some sort of spider whisperer.. I have learnt to live in harmony with my sworn enemies ( not exactly true, I coexist with empty spiderwebs.. if the landlord were to suddenly show up it'd be a totally different deal-probably a deal including swearing and burning down the room to ensure extermination of the awful creature).

Perhaps I am converting to buddhism as beyond my knowledge I am part of a bigger plan to give life to the future Dalai Lama..
Kidding, after having a deep chat with the brow, during which he wisely suggested I take a chill pill or I will (and I quote) 'die here,now' ( way to be creepy bro, I'd like to not pass away in a land that no-one could reach in useful time for my funeral!) I realised I would definitely be an unsuitable candidate for the Buddhist Monk position due to irreconcilable differences between my beliefs and the religion's.
These are the pillars at the base of the Buddhist religion ( as far as I understood, if anyone has corrections or disagrees please do so, I am not a very good listener and I space out a lot so I may have made some things up, oops!)
1. you must not drink alcohol- buahuahuaha
2. you shall not speak evil - please, I am a gossip virtuoso
3.you shall do no evil- hmm.....
4.you shall not tell a lie- i've never lied...........
5.don't kill- if I had the balls to get anywhere near them I'd mass murder all snakes and spiders in the world, in fact, upon checking into ma latest hotel room I asked the bellboy to kill a spider chilling on my door for me.. I am pretty positive being a good buddhist boy he's removed it from there and probably shoved it under my pillow. Alive.
6. do not take what is not given ( revisited do not steal)
7. do not commit adultery- no risk there!

According to these simple life guidelines and to Karmic law, I am pretty sure If I were a Buddhist and died right here, right now, my soul would be reborn into the body of one of those monkeys you see at the zoo who walk around frustrated and lunatic from being in captivity and all they've got left to do is flash their bright red fannies around for mating purposes. Gees, thank God I'm Catholic, literally.

During our description the brow proved himself to be living testimony of the fact that burmese people are so immensely sweet and so positively versed that it effectively makes them intolerable to a cynical time poor westerner as me. The fact that they constantly smile and that their voices tend to be an octave higher than a sopranos automatically translates to me as being naive and a little silly. In fact I always catch myself repeating 'did you understand?' with the tedious rhythm of a broken Bieber record.

Burmese people in fact have a reputation soooooo nice, hospitable, friendly and well behaved that they do not need to be governed by police, as they are governed and guided by Buddhism.
It did sound like a little bull***t but come to think of it, I've roamed quite a bit and been on the road a lot and I have not seen a single person misbehave or a single policeman around. The brow assures me I could easily leave my wallet containing thousands of dollars on a coffee shop table and return days later to find it there untouched.. well this is a lovely change compared to Milan where you basically worry about buying chewing gum as your two euro change coin could result attractive to some pretty aggressive pickpockets. Props to the burmese for adopting this wonderful holy lifestyle and sticking to it.

Myanmar is in fact a very holy destination, frequented by a large number of pilgrims. A little like the little holy town in the balkans which has become so popular over the last few years it is considered a favourite among the holy pilgrimage destinations especially because it is cheaper than Nepal, birthplace of Buddha ( Comparably Jerusalem).

Today we visited another sacred mountain, and surprisingly I managed to avoid repeating my unscheduled tuck and roll and got all the way up to the top with a decent amount of poise left in me, though I was wheezing for air..At the top was the customary temple keeper who offered us tea, crunchy tea leaves and toasted nuts. As it is mortally rude to refuse hospitality I ended up scarving down the entire thing, with blatant disregard for the fact that the hygienic conditions are questionable, the dishes had probably been out all morning if not days and the fact that the tea cup was spotted with a concerning matter.

Now I'm completely jittery due to excess caffeine and am feeling a little disconnected so excuse This post for being weird and keep following!

I am off to do my good deeds, in case I die, right here,right now. (knock on wood, touch balls, touch iron, pick a clover)

nightyy, hope I can sleep!!