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From this moment on, until the day I die, I will be able to truthfully declare 'I learnt to ride a motorbike in rural India.'Hare Ram (Oh God) I am so fricking cool.In fact, I believe this statement alone makes me the coolest person I know (and perhaps that one negates it!). Anyhoo, I have been blessed with the key to the motorbike and the trust of the two girls that I work with so most days on we hop, off to the villages, and I pray that I won't cause any serious damage. My daily goal is no longer to learn 3 new words, but is now 'don't kill my colleagues'.Perhaps in time, my goal will lessen to 'don't break their legs'.I've so far succeeded, with the help of a few four-letter expletives when having to dodge herds of buffaloes, goats, and cows, rocks, pot holes, children, puddles and mud.However this survival tactic may have to alter since the girls are now asking the meaning of my blasphemous utterances.And there's nothing like chucking yourself in at the deep end - by the fifth time I'd even sat on the bike I was riding along with 1 passenger, and I had two people squeezed onto the seat (in addition to myself) when I could still count the number of times I'd ridden the blooming thing on both hands.I fricking love it, finally we have the opportunity to go to villages without having to spend 2 hours finding someone to take us first!Of course it brings a lot of expectant neighbours to my door - 'can you take us to the market?,' 'can you give me a lift to work?' I just say it's the work bike so not mine to cart people around.It's wholly un-Indian to be so unhelpful but I can't help but feel slightly taken advantage of at times (especially when people tell me to buy them gifts and get them things from England) so I just put my foot down and don't do it for anyone.Sounds harsh, but it's better than feeling obliged to be everyone's favourite little foreign friend.
So sorry it's been so long since I wrote.I've been here, there, and everywhere so when I finally do get to spend some time alone, I mostly use these precious moments to sleep.
A quick run down of my activities of late includes the following:
The wedding of Richa's (my flat mates) friend.
The engagement party of my friend's brother - involving an extremely long journey, which, had I known about, I probably wouldn't have been allowed to go.
The wedding reception of Menka's (my Indian friend that I used to work with in London) brother - again involving a long journey, this time by train, about which I will give more details in a mo.
More horse riding.
A picnic in my, now, favourite place in India.
Palm-reading (mine not me attempting to read someone elses).
Moving house
Work
Firstly work.It's going ok, yet I still get frustrated when people don't complete the tasks that we set for them, like opening bank accounts for village committees etc. And I hate that I still can't communicate effectively.But yesterday a new girl started who, so far, I think is fricking ace.Her English is really good and she shares my values of working hard and trying to achieve the goals of the project, e.g. empowering women. I think we'll make a good team so I'm well chuffed that she's on board.I still feel quite a bit of pressure (mostly from myself) and panic that we aren't going to get the work done in time.We are supposed to have done a certain amount of activities by the end of this year but there's no way they'll all get done.We're pretty much trying to fit a years worth of work into two months which feels impossible yet I'm not able to concede to just doing my best with it.But I'm trying to relax a bit and not let it get to me… its tough, but then, of course it is.I still find it aggravating when men treat me as though I am not capable of the things they are, but it generally only comes from those who don't know me very well.For example, yesterday we were about to set off to a village and I asked for the keys to the Jeep from Raheesh Ji and said I would drive.A new man has started at work (the husband of the new girl) and he said he wouldn't go if I drove.He said it was a joke but he clearly meant it - when he finally got in he told me to go slowly and asked what driving was like in England rar rar rar.Still, I just laugh it off and take pride in proving them wrong when they see that I am very capable, and refuse to take no as an answer.I like going into town by myself and driving me and the girls to the villages because I'm proving everyday that women are not fragile and weak and in need of looking after - I am quite capable of kicking anyone's ass if they gave me any sh*t since (for once) I'm of quite average height, and lets face it, I'm rock solid ha ha.I think the frustrations of missing my normality, my family, my friends, and myself are probably playing their part in getting to me.I am definitely frustrated in many ways…!
My Hindi is coming along, and I'm just trying to stick at it.I can just about participate in conversations now, but mostly with a bit of translation along the way.
Yes, people are still trying to marry me off.I do enjoy going to all the marriage ceremonies and I like it best when I get to talk to people about how they feel about them.It's just so different to the way it all works in England and so interesting to understand people's perceptions of arranged marriages and love marriages (as we practice in the UK).But I'm standing firm on the 'not just yet' response to everyone's probing.I've figured out a good way of deterring would be match makers as well - I say my number one priority is to find a boy that would be willing to move to England with me, and it always has them schtumpted.
It was state elections in Madyha Pradesh the day that the Mumbai attacks kicked off.The whole state shut down and we could not travel to the villages or do any work so myself and my friend went to a nearby beauty spot for a picnic.Oh my word, I don't think I've ever been so in awe of a landscape.There is a huge lake in the middle which is surround by loads of hills, each of which boasts an artefact of some sort from a city long forgotten - forts, city gates, temples, the works.The best part is the fact that UNESCO haven't got their grubby little hands on any of it, so I was able to explore everything completely without seeing one 'Do Not Touch' sign.I will definitely take any who ventures to Nowgong to this place, it is just stunning and I don't think my photographs can do it justice.
Yesterday, on our way to a village, we stopped at a tea shop for a spot of chai and I saw that Jyoti was talking to a strange man.I asked who he was and was told he was a palm reader - of course I was up there like a shot.Apparently I have a long luck line, which definitely rings true whilst I'm here, I feel so lucky to be a British citizen when I see people missing out on the things we take for granted, such as a free health service (I think I'll shoot anyone who moans about the NHS in my presence from now on).Furthermore, I'll have a love marriage (who knew?) and I will become a governor of England!Get me!I'm not sure exactly what this translates too but I've decided foreign minister, or at least head of the foreign office, or perhaps the UK representative to the UN or EU might do.Furthermore, I'm told someone is going to give me their property and assets, which may be necessary if I stay on this type of salary for the rest of my days.So… anyone feeling generous?
Oh, I almost forgot, yesterday I spent a good few hours moving house.We've only gone across the street but Richa and I have taken a smaller place since our other two flatmates moved out (which was slightly joyous because they were, for want of a better word, t*** ).Our new place is much nicer and cleaner and I'm pretty chuffed we've got it.Our land lord seems very nice and we're only opposite the old place so people can still find us if they need.
And the train journey to Menka's place that I mentioned earlier - fricking hilarious.The initial journey went very smoothly without any hiccoughs.It was pretty long (Menka's parents live in Durgapur, near Kolkatta) so, having left at 8am on Friday, we reached a hotel by about 4pm on Saturday.It was the first time I've slept on a train intentionally, and I did feel a pang of excitement as I closed the curtain to my little cabin bed and went off to sleep.Of course, this was all very well as we had reservations for second class and were provided with nice pillows, a blanket, and some privacy.Unfortunately, the return journey didn't go quite so swimmingly.The doofus that booked the tickets, booked our departure for the day before we even arrived!We did not realise the mix up until we got to the train station ready to set off home meaning we had to wing it.The journey therefore comprised of two changes, including a four hour stint in general class (where I shared a space ideally designed for 6-8 people with 29 fully grown men, their luggage, and street children and market sellers trying to earn a buck or two).The other two trains saw us seated in sleeper class, where you still don't have blankets and pillows (and it is cold here now) but at least, if you're lucky, you can get your own bunk.The third and final journey took from 11pm to 6 am, and saw us sharing an area with Mr Snorey von Snorason, and a large group of boystrous, over excited wedding goers who boarded around 4am.At which point, I didn't care about being polite, I just told them to be quiet.So, lesson learnt, DON'T RELY ON OTHERS TO BOOK TRAIN JOURNEYS FOR YOU!From now on, I'll just get myself to the train station and ensure everything goes to plan, no matter how much protest I hear from my 'guardians'.Still, you have to laugh at these things hey!
Thanks for everyone's concern about Mumbai but really I'm fine.Worrying about me in Nowgong would be like me worrying about those of you in Ashby if a bomb went off in Paris.India is really that big and that diverse.This is a tiny little town and is really quite safe.
One last thing I'd like to share with you:
I noticed people say hum (we) when referring to themselves.When I asked Richa why and she said, because I am not alone, I am not 'me', I am part of a family.I thought this was a nice sentiment.
I'll sign off for now and try to promise that I won't leave it so long till next time.
As always, keep in touch!I miss you all so much, but I think the missing me is the hardest part. My friend Helen is hopefully coming out in January and I'm still keeping my hopes up for a visit from Chloe, Libby, (et al) in Feb. So maybe I'll be able to be English for a few days then, without feeling a deepening sense of guilt for behaving in a way that feels natural to me.
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