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25\11\08
Got up late and spent about half an hour ramming all our things in to our bags. The girls stuff is now spilling out of their bags so they've now started using the remaining space in my bag for their stuff. Took the bus from KL to Malacca, its a 2 hour drive and I started to really need a slash after about 10 minutes. After an hour and a half I couldn't take it any more and had to ask the driver to pull over at the next toilets, luckily we were right next to some. As I was getting off some really slow woman got in front of me and I was struggling to get past. 40 second breaker! Got back on the bus and relaxed for the last 20 minutes of the journey.
Took a taxi from the Malacca bus station to a hostel nearer the coast called Sunny Inn. Its a really nice place, has a living room where you can select from ring binders full of DVD's to watch each night. It has a kitchen with a fridge and a toaster, so I went straight down the 7-11 and bought some bread and jam for toast. Went out for a wander to see what was around and guess what, we found another shopping mall, walked through there checking out some of the shops, and eventually found a flat area where we could play frisbee, so we went back to the room and got it. The girls went to starbucks with the laptop to make use of the wi-fi and we went for a frisbee sesh. It was so windy that the frisbee was just lifting up in the air each time someone threw it and inevitably the mall security showed up and said "you can't play games here" so we laughed and went to the arcade. There were about 20 karaoke machines dotted around the edge so I managed to persuade Burns and Pat it was a good idea. Had a sing along to a weird version of Californication, Burns was awful, was singing lines about 10 seconds behind the tune, it was hillarious. Went to Starbucks to meet the girls, and sat around there taking it in turns to use the internet, spent a total of 4 hours there. Went to a curry house for dinner Pat and I had chicken vinaloo and asked for no bones in it and we got exactly what we ordered. The girls ordered curries off the menu that stated it was boneless when they got it it had loads of bones in it, Helen waS not impressed.
When we got back to the hostel we sat around in the living room and one of they guys that runs it showed us a new game called Carrom which involves flicking a round counter at a load of black and white counters with a final red one. You have to pot the black and white ones in the corner pockets like pool. One team/player decides whether they are going to be black or white, which didn't make sense to me because blacks are worth 1 point and whites are worth 2, the red is worth 5. So whoever chooses whites seems to win every time. Anyway, we were awful at it, it took us over half an hour to clear the board. We asked the guy that taught us it to show us how it's done and he potted one straight away. When we finally finished the game we watched 21 on their DVD player before going to sleep. Burns now has a cough which is really anoying because just as you start to drift off to sleep he'll let out a monster of a cough which is impossible to sleep through. I've now been woken up too many times by one of his crazy farts, burps or coughs.
26/11/08
Didn't wake up until 11:40. Proabably due to not getting to sleep very easily with Burns' coughing. Had loads of toast and jam and then when everyone was ready we set off to find the Heritage area. The girls and I waited round the corner for about 10 minutes for the lads, when they didn't show we thought we'd better go look for them. Turns out they had gone to the 7-11 first. On the way we found a Maritime Museum so we went in for a look, nothing really that interesting just a bit of history of Melacca. Found a market and a stall that sold caps with the biggest peaks I've ever seen. When we finished in that stall Coops and I waited outside for the others to come out, turns out they were already waiting at the other end of the market for us. Found 'Jonker Walk' and walked from one end to the other, spent ages walking in and out of shops full little ornaments and other tat. Stopped at a bar called Geographers on the way back, there was a poster on the wall advertising an 'Acoustic Night with Burns every Thursday', I think we got enough photos of that. On the way back the girls showed us their complete lack of any sense of direction. It started raining very hard at about 7 and didn't stop, so we went out to eat at a place down the road which we could get to without getting wet. The skyline was lit up with constant lightning the whole time and the rain just got heavier and heavier. I stayed in the bar to use the wi-fi while everyone else went back to the hostel. When I got back they were watching Wanted so we finished watching that and then tried to go to sleep unsuccesfully, so me and Coops planned what we were going to do tomorrow.
27/11/08
Didn't wake up until 10:30 even though we said we'd try to wake up early to do something for once. Probably didn't help that I didn't get to sleep until 6am. Took the bus to Ayer Keroh, got off at Mini Malaysia and decided that we didn't want to waste time and money going in so we ended up walking down another main road to get to the Crocodile Farm. Inside the crocodile farm there was a house of mirrors mixed with a haunted hosue. It was really funny watching the girls scream and run off when and white cloth got thrown on them in the dark. It had to be the most tacky haunted house ever, as we were leaving the guy was laughing as if to say 'sorry for ripping you off'. The crocs were pretty boring except one that lying right next to the gate. I decided to poke it on the tail... mistake...they're so quick, the moment my hand went near it, it snapped round, everyone instantly jumped back and it nearly had my hand off. After that we saw the crocodile show which involved a guy shoving his hand in to its mouth and putting paper from between his lips into its mouth. After our previous experience with the crocodile we decided that they must have drugged this one as it wasn't moving at all.
We walked further down the road and found another go-kart place. Coops, Pat and I had a 10 minute race, quite dissapointing beecause Coops had a really slow kart, Pat and I ended up laping her twice. On the 7th or 8th lap I ended up skidding in to the tyres and had to get out to reverse back and carry on, still managed to win though, Pat's getting better now so hopefully we'll have battle next time, if we all manage to get the same power karts. Took the bus back to Melaka and went to the Coffee place on the corner. I was persuaded to have my first coffee, had a mocha and loved it, ended up having 2 more hazelnut coffees. It was the girls chioce of places to eat and we ended up going to a place called Secret Recipe, turns out its a chain that makes nice cakes. I suddenly felt the effects of the coffee and couldn't stop talking nonsense, it was great. Burns bought a massive piece of cake on the way out.
28/11/08
Left the hostel at around midday to go explore China town some more. It was really hot today, the sun was beaming down and Pats back was getting very wet. When we got there we were told that China Town was just the Jonker walk that we had done the other day, so Burns Pat and I decided to sit back down in the Geographers Cafe and have some beers while the girls went off to do some christmas shopping. Spent about 2 hours playing the name game and drinking while taking it in turns to check out the free internet. A lot of surnames begin with M's, S's and G's, the number of times we tried to get away with repeating Steven Segal and Steven Merchant was rediculous. Our backs were now dry as a bone so we headed back to the hostel to meet up with the girls. It was so hot, Pat and I saw a McDonalds and couldn't resist a shake, the moment we got it outside it lost all its viscosity and pretty much turned to water.
Sat around in the hostel for a bit, I spanked Coops at chess and then we went out to the coffee house again to make use of the wi-fi. My photos failed to upload again so I ended up doing them in an internet cafe instead. Left the hostel at 8:30 to go back to Chinatown to check out the night market which is only there on Friday and Saturday nights. The first thing we saw when we entered was some crazy Malaysian showing a crowd of people how he can successfully shove his finger through a coconut. When he did it some Ausie bloke shouted out 'It's soft' which didn't go down too well, so he got him to check all the coconuts and asked him to try. When the Malaysian finally got his finger out of the coconut it was so fat and swolen and covered with blood the Ausie bloke wisely refused to try. Stood around for what seemed like an eternity waiting for him to smash a coconut open with his head, but he spent far too long talking b******s in Malay that we couldn't be bothered to wait any longer. Checked out some more backscratchers and calculators the size of small rucksacks as we walked down the market. Got to the end and decided to eat at the Geographers Cafe. Ordered our food and started playing the classic name game again. Something made Coops laugh and she was in tears, still have no idea what that was. It was raining as we left, so the 20 minute walk back was fairly amusing, the girls wwouldn't walk on the pavements for fear of slipping over and Pat was shrieking like a school girl ever time me or Burns went near him to press the wet front of his shirt into his body. Got back and had a shower before watching the next installment of Coupling and going to bed. I went to bed prepared this time. Found some of the ear plugs that I'd stolen from clays, worked a treat, best nights sleep I've had in days.
29/11/08
GOt up at 10 and packed all my stuff. Went to the internet cafe to try to catch up with the photos. And then took the bus to Melaka central bus station to get the bus to Singapore. The buses apparently leave to Singapore every hour, but we got there at 12:15 and were told the next bus was at 2:30, lying Malaysians! Sat around at the bus station, attempted to spend our last Malaysian Ringgits, I got a McDonalds strawberry shake and Burns and Coops followed suit. We then sat down and listened to episode 8 and 9 of the Ricky Gervais podcast and had a good laugh at why Karl would want to wait for the right face if he was to have a face transplant. Found a guy selling waffles so managed to offload a few more ringgit there. Got on the bus, it had to be the most packed out bus we've been on since we began traveling, we actually had to sit in our seat numbers. It was also the first bus with no air-con so I had to sit sideways to avoid sweating. Some punk kid in front of Pat sat down and used the lever to lean his seat back abrutly and it smashed Pat on the knees, the kid just left it where it was so Pat had to deal with that until we stopped for snacs when he quickly reached round and put it upright again. When the kid sat back down he did exactly the same thing again. I had my iPod off now and could hear the most annoying ringtones coming from his phone, my verdict is that he is a twat! Stopped off at the first immigration check and took ages passing it because Helens passport managed to break the machine, finally got through and found Coops stood at the toilet door holding it shut for Helen because it kept swinging open. Helen then informed me that it was the skankiest toilet she had ever seen and would have been better to piss behind a tree. At the next customs check we found a few signs, Pat and I attempted to get a photo of us stood under a No Loitering sign, but realised that there was a no camera or photography sign right next to it so moved off quickly, the next sign we saw said 'no waiting' and directly underneath said 'please queue here'. Arrived in Singapore and donned our bags to find the InnCrowd hostel. Finally found it but turned out that there were no rooms available. The next 2 we tried also had no rooms and by this time all our shoulders were about to drop off from the weight of our bags so Helen and I scouted ahead while others sat on the corner of a junction. Found a cheap hotel for $97, with a room with 2 double beds. We were all starving so went to find food, literally went into the nearest curry house and struggled to order some mutton curries with rice, pat ended up ordering a murry cutton, what a dick. wandered around little India and managed to book a night in the Prince of Wales, the beers there are $9 for a bottle, which works out to be around 4.50 a bottle, well expensive. Managed to find our way back to the hotel, with a few arguments along the way about which way was quickest, I was right yet again, Coops sense of direction is pretty poor. Got back to the room and had a bit of an argument about who was going to be the filling in the sandwich, ended up being me as I managed so well in Koh Phangan. As we were showering before going to bed, we were sitting on the beds which still have the plastic sheets on them and Helen let out the loudest, squeakiest fart ever, whilst sat next to me and within a few seconds I was choking on it. Everyone rushed out and Burns promptly sprayed the room with Sex Panther to mask the stench.
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