Profile
Blog
Photos
Videos
Journey of an Unknown Soul
JMJT
First of all, I must begin with saying, in all of this all Glory be to God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Incredible are His mercies and His love extends from age to age.
Feburary 24th, 2006 I departed for Rome, Italy. In preparing my heart for the journey, I wrote, "Please turn this heart of stone into a pilgrims heart of love, as I leave for Rome tonight..."
Some of us departed by bus at 7:15PM on the 24th and arrived early in the Morning on the 25th. Anxious to see Rome, I slept very little and upon arriving to the hotel - almost immediatly left by foot in the city to explore. A group of us went to the Collusieum, where we took a tour. It was incredible to be in such an old place. In the United States we think something is old if it is 300 years old, in Europe I find myself walking in places 2000 years old... Unbelievable.
The tour guide gave very interesting explanations to everything until he began to explain Christianity. It made me sad because he obviously was confused about who Christ is, and what Christians believe. He was poorly informed on why the Romans persecuted the Early Christians and unforntunatly, all those on the tour listening to his explainations who didn't know any better - were also left in the dark. For me the collesium was especially incredible because my confirmation Saint died there, 1700 years ago... She gave birth to her child in the prison camps there, after being hauled here from Africa. St. Perpetua journaled during her time in Roman prisons and when her time came to be executed as sport, she accepted with, "Be it done unto me according to the Lord's will..." A profound moment in the collesium happened when I was asking for her intercession. I looked down into the pit and I saw a pacifier sitting in the midst of the rubble. I could only imagine her suffering as she surrendered her new born child to other Christians as she gave her life for Christ...
After exploring the Collesium we made our way to the Palace Ruins, which were beautiful. It was a bright sunny day and the scene looked like something out of rustic Scotland. Later that night we enjoyed Mass and dinner. In fact, after the daily events - our entire group (150, including several families, priest and religious) gathered at the hotel for a catered meal with great wine, company and sharing.
"The Lord's love for us is strong, the Lord is faithful forever." - Psalm 117
The next morning was Sunday. I woke up like any other morning, except this particular morning I awoke to the morning light of ROME! We departed from the hotel very early in order to go to St. Peter's Basilica for Mass. My entrance into St. Peter's in itself was lifechanging. And at that moment I truly began to understand the universality of the Catholic Church. St. Peter's square is shaped in such a way that as you enter, you feel as though the Church is totally embracing you with such love. There is a peace and a joy, even in the midst of the square.
Walking into St. Peter's Basilica, the largest place of worship in the world for any one diety...was like...coming home. The massive Church is designed by artistic genuises, who created it in such a way as to invoke awe and wonder without overwhelming the senses. This is exactly what it does...
Immediatly to the right of the entrance is the PIETA by Michael Angelo. I nearly ran over to her...What an incredible masterpiece. A dear guy friend of mine, who has never been passionate about the papacy or Rome was moving toward me with giant tears in his eyes. I bowed before the Pieta and for the first time in my life, was beginning to understand the profoundity of artists like Michael Angelo. Our Blessed Mother encompasses Christ in her arms. Her gown envelopes him, as her face filled with peace looks at him with love...as if praying to the Father, "Lord, what am I to do now? ...Be it done unto me according to thy word...I trust in you..."
As three of us moved from chapel to chapel, statue to statue, relic to incorrupt Saint...we were in awe of Christ and His Church. As if things couldn't get any better we were about to attend Mass in St. Peter's... I went to sit for Mass and fortunatly was able to grab a seat in the front center isle. Not 5 minutes after I sat down preparing my heart, the Italian head Sacristan approached me and asked if I would like to read for Mass.
"Do you speak English?"
"Yes," I replied.
Would you like to read?"
I looked at him totally dumb founded.
He abruptly asked, "Would you like to read for Mass? Do you speak English?"
"Yes, yes!"
With minutes Mass would begin. Because it was such sort notice no one from our group really knew that I was going to read. Our Priests were preparing for Mass with several (50 or more) other Priests. Apparently some students saw me going up with the other reader before Mass to see how everything would work, and there was chatter going on between the students. But many had not noticed. Most students had printed out copies of the readings in English as to follow along when it was being read in Italian or Latin(because this was a Latin Mass) When I began to read the second reading many students weren't expecting it in English and when they heard my voice, everyone was very excited and proud of me. Friends of mine felt like proud fathers and sisters! During this entire time I was trying not shake and really trying to remain in prayer. I only wanted to enter into the Mass as I normally would, only more radically. "Lord, may this reflect YOU, not me..." I prayed... And what a beautiful confirmation that afterwards several people shared with me that they really felt Christ in the reading... SO, I read in St. Peter's Basilica for Mass on Feburary 26th 2006.
The reading was 2 Corninthians 3:1 -6,
"Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, as some do, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by all, shown to be a letter of Christ administered by us, written not in ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets that are hearts of flesh. Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that of ourselves we are qualified to take credit for anything as coming from us; rather, our qualification comes from God, who has indeed qualified us as ministers of a new covenant, not of letter but of spirit; for the letter brings death, but the Spirit gives life."
After Mass the Pope came to his window and addressed thousands of us in the square. He then led us in the Angelas at noon. This was my first encounter with the Pope... :)
Over the next few days we would visit:
Angel's Bridge, Angel's Castle, Collesium, Panthian, Piazza Novona, Santa Maria Supra Minerva (Catherine of Siena's tomb), Trevic Fountain, The Bone Chapel, Spanish Steps, Basilica of St. Lorenzo de Lucini (amazing Immaculate Heart chapel, that changed my life!), Roman Forum, Circus Maximus, Mannertime Prison (where St. Peter was in prison and ministered to the gaurd...and a miraculous spring emerged so that he could give baptism to the gaurds. The spring is still there to this day and the rock that was softened for his head is still there, to which we touched!), Basilica of St. Cosmas and Damian, San Giovanni DeLaSalle Chapel, St. Clemente, St. Peter in Chains (the chains that the Angel freed St. Peter of, the first time he was in prison), Santa Maria Maggiore (the first Church dedicated to our Lady), San Presede, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, St. John Lateran (first public Christian church and the central hub of the Roman Catholic Church for the first 1000 years), a large peice of the TRUE CROSS (brought back to Rome by St. Helen), The Holy Stairs(the Steps that Jesus walked up to Pontius Pilate on, moved to Rome by St. Helen), the Good Thief's Cross (brought back to Rome by St. Helen), the Ancient Catacombs and a few other places, as well.
A few side notes...
The Bone Chapel...was made by a Franciscan friar. The Fransican cemetary was full and the friars could not seem to raise money for more land. This particular home of friars is in one of the most wealthy areas of the world, let alone Italy. (Still in present day, next door to this Parish is a Lamborgini and Porche market.) One specifically artistic friar asked permission to dig up the old bones, clean them and make a "Bone Chapel". Receiving permission he spent the next time of his life creating these small chapels. He cleaned the bones and took each and every single bone in the body to make intricate designs of everything from wall coverings to scenes. Hearing about this I thought it sounded cool, but would pretty much be the most eerie experience of my life. When explaining it, Professor Colossi said that some people leave gagging and screaming and others leave deep in prayer. ... It was incredible. The art was not appalling because the end quote was the summit which led all to deep thought...
"You are what we once were, and we are what you will become..."
Think about it.
This entire semester a uniquely European theme as been everywhere. One Professor explained it to me as, "Remember your death..." This was said by certain monks to remind us that nothing in this world really matters, from dust we came and from dust we shall return. What does matter is God, for He who gave us life - we shall return too at the end. So, in understanding this - and turning from the material to a God who loves us mercifully we remember our death...
One Church we entered had peices of the wood from the crib of Christ. This touched me in an astonomical way. To gaze upon the crib that St. Joseph made for Mary and Jesus...to see the bed to which Mary, laid the WORD Incarnate to bed on...Unexplainable. As a woman who definatly feels called to the Vocation of Marriage, this experience moved me. I found myself drawn to a standard of marriage and holiness, within my home like never before. To marry a man who is a passionate servant and even more so, to be a passionate servant myself...this I deeply desire.
On the 28th I had a free afternoon period so I decided to depart from my friends and spend the afternoon in Rome alone. It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny day, with fresh air. I walked around and went in the shops. But predictably enough found myself sitting in St. Peter's square praying and journaling. I began,
"Pope Benedict's window is so near, and as I rest in the Papal city I draw close to my Pastoral Father. He with love for the flock. He burns with love for his flock - totally inspired by Jesus. The Vatican Museum today was beautiful and overwhelming. My heart was overwhelmed by the beauty, the creation, the art and the mystery. On and on Jesus, You change my life in this pilgrimage..."
A few days later our group was scheduled to go to a Papal Audience. In order to get the seats we wanted, several of us woke up at 4:30 AM in order to wait in line. The Papal Audience would begin at 10AM and the long wait only built up the great anticipation for our Papa. Needless to say I was VERY EXCITED. I have felt a strong connection to Pope Benedict since JPII death, even prior to B16 election as Pope. I managed front row seats for our section, now the only thing holding me back from the Pope was several swiss gaurds, a waste length metal gaurd rail and any reservedness within me. ... When he first drove by he was about 3 feet away, I could have easily touched him. And as he drove by, I yelled, "Papa! I love you and I'm praying for you..." His big eyes went straight to mine and we held eye contact for a few moments, these moments felt like eternity. He read my soul and with his eyes professed truth and the love of God to my heart... Afterwards Mike, who was next to me commented on the connection. As if all of this wasn't enough, he was to drive by again nearly 2 hours later. In the mean time he addressed the audience in several different languages, including English. The large groups were announced and as planned, when "The Austria Campus of Franciscan University of Steubenville" was announced WE WENT WILD. Then we sang, "All of the Nations shall bow at the name of the Lamb, only you are worthy, only you are worthy of praise..." (This is a song to Christ, written by one of our students.) When FUS was announced Papa got excited and laughed and shook his hands. He has commented several times about Steubenville and favors it! The second time he drove by he shook hands...He held several babies FROM OUR GROUP and kissed them. When he drove by me, he not only shook my hand - but he held it. It was incredible. Christ radiates from him - he truly is the Sheprd here on earth leading us to our Heavenly Father. Pope Benedict not only blessed us and our articles of religous goods, but extended his blessing to our families and loved ones ("all those in our hearts"). I can only say that as he gave the blessing, there was something very special about that blessing. As he gave it, I was changed. There is no doubt in my mind.
I also felt incredibly blessed because as he blessed me and those in my heart, he blessed my family and my future family. All of this only leads me to bless the name of the Lord, even more.
One last thing about Rome that I would like to share...THE HOLY STAIRS. When St. Constantine made Christianity legal, his mother, St. Helen was given permission to go to the Holy Land and bring whatever she wanted back. One of the many things she brought back was the stairs Jesus walked up to Pontius Pilate. In Rome, visitors are allowed to crawl up these stairs. It took us at least 45 minutes...As Christ embraced His cross out of love for you, he accepted each step...as a gift to the souls He so deeply thirsts for. Jesus on the cross said, "I thirst!" Crawling these stairs, my heart was pulled to the crucified Christ in a deeper longing to console Him there and to bring others to the light of His love and Freedom. The Holy Stairs are...indescribable.
"If we are, who we are meant to be... We will set the Whole world ablaze!" - St. Catherine of Siena
My week in Rome was filled with Divine Appointments, prayer, much walking, sight seeing, moving experiences and Christ in His Holy Church... Honestly, if I were to explain to you all of the conversion and incredible experiences that I encountered on this pilgrimage - it would be Christmas before you stopped reading! I can only say that Rome is holy. I know that 20 years from now, I will still be unpacking the graces and expereinces of this pilgrimage and praising God for His incredible generosity...
"Make me into your bride of love, so as to set this world ablaze. Jesus be my center, be my hope..."
- comments