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Step away from the sequinned bikinis. It's my new mantra. The micro triangles and floss that make up these 'swimmers' are wardrobe malfunctions in the making. But my holiday head, happily ensconced in the Italian riviera, is unable to differentiate between this surreal world of sun, sea and mopeds and the practicalities of home. I can't even discuss the cycling anymore because I sound like a broken record, stuck on endless blue skies, awe-inspiring coastal views and memorable mountain ascents and descents. I'm convinced I need to start a Luxury Cycle Tours of the World, so I can share the experience beyond the blog. Just thinking 'i'm riding the italian riviera' makes me feel rich and famous (Wobbly Wheels and Legs 11 could very well be the Brangelina of the cycle touring world). Who can blame me when I am sharing the narrow coastal roads with Ferraris? Portofino doesn't disappoint on stereotypes: the people watching offers unrivaled rich pickings (bouffants, nose jobs, trout pouts, diamond rings the size of eyeballs) the prices* (25€ for a tuna salad) the boats (what they haven't built in real estate since the 1930s they more than make up for on the water) and the crowded 'beaches' (pebbles and dirt). But here's the thing: the place is, well, so damn likable, beautiful even. Romantic too. I feel wealthy by association, nevermind the fact I've only got about $500 left to my name. There's a hush over Portofino that makes you feel like you're in a library, you can't even walk your bike through the town let alone ride it, the male waiters in the waterfront bars and restaurants could be straight out of Italy's Next Top Model and then there's the clear aqua water, constant chatter of birds, trees, coastal breeze, argh it's enough to make anyone forget who they are and buy overpriced espadrilles and barely there bikinis.
*Post script: on the Bellini barometer (an economic tool using champagne cocktails to illustrate the true cost of, ahem, essential goods) Portofino ranks number 1. A Bellini here costs 35€ or about $50. And I thought Harry's Bar in Venice - home of the original Bellini - was a blow out at 17€. I think if the Mooloolaba surf club knew what one was it would be about $7.
- comments
Annie Your photos are amazing! It is definitely even more beautiful without the rain clouds.....(but bloody exxie isn't it!)
Legs11 Thanks Annie. And I thought the tourist traps at home were a rort...