Gimmie a kiss…..

Well it's time I slammed dunked another blog I think, time to hit you guys square in the jaw with some Rio escapades!

I started my journey in Rio on 26th February where I promptly done jack all, apart from sleep & occasionally eat. (I did also sunbathe once, shop in Leblon, walk 5 hours one day & almost 4 the next. Oh & try to run & fail miserably, but let's not talk about that)

On Thursday 3rd Haifa arrived on the tarmac so we did a little jig & also promptly fell asleep.

Friday was a different matter & lo & behold it's pouring with rain, Boo hiss. We man up anyway & head around Copacabana for a mosey about, I think this is also the day my flipflop decides it doesn't like to be joined anymore & I end up walking around the City shoeless, all class me. We head out to Lapa that night as apparently Lapa is all over Fridays & then some/ So, yes we head out with a group from the Hostel to find a street full of drunk crazies & men who want to kissy kiss you at every opportunity, hmm no. We stay out for a while & the highlights include hundreds of people in the rain under the petrol station shelter watching a random band, the drink being so strong I'm surprised it didn't bleach our insides, being so drunk even the fat Brazilians looked hot (I kid) & finally, best of all, eating a great chicken kebab & dancing in the taxi home to house music.

Lapa isn't really my thing but I'm really glad I experienced it, it's a bit more 18-30's for my liking but god damn that taxi driver played some wicked house, so totally worth the 30 Real .Ha.

Saturday was a chilled one as it was hangover from hell time. I think I actually managed to do nothing quite successfully & we decided to hit up Swedish House Mafia @ Rio Music Conference, just because we could, bosh. So Marisa & Rachel sort some tickets & pay up front & we have to try & arrange to meet them later, which gets confusing when I don't have a phone & the internet is being a little sh*t. Haifa heads out to meet a girl she met on the plane to experience some street parties & we roughly arrange to meet in a bar at 10pm unless told otherwise. To cut a rather long story short messages get muddled, I'm late to Marisa's hostel to collect tickets, ticket man doesn't even turn up till 10.30pm, we get a taxi who promptly drives us out into Copacabana (the bar is in Ipanema as is the Hostel), taxi man takes us back & we still have to pay him the extra! Can't get in the bar to meet Haifa as huge queue, bribe the door man with my camera to get in, Haifa not there & we have a 90 Real ticket in our hand that Rachel needs the money for. Erk.

We walk around a bit to find her, the streets are a mass with people, we try to hail a cab, no cabs. We walk to the Metro to get that & instead we see a man with no pants on, no trousers, sh*t all up and over his arse cheeks, who then proceeds to grip a railing for leverage & takes a dump IN THE MIDDLE OF A STREET PARTY IN CENTRAL IPANEMA. WHAT!? The smell is so bad it's stained my nostrils for hours. Anyway, the metro is rammed, it has at least a billion people waiting for tickets so we walk around like idiots for another hour when we finally (finally) hail a cab WAHOOO!!

Cab man takes us on an epic tour & we eventually get to the venue with a bit of walking & getting wet involved.

So anyway, we happily-ish trundle off to the venue to sell this, now, spare ticket. Heaven has finally given us a ray of light, a girl in the queue buys our90 real ticket off us for 50, it'll do! She is so so so so ridiculously happy we think she might just implode at any given moment, she jumps for joy & squeals in delight & we feel like smug Angels who have just given her a return ticket to earth, ahhhhhh.

Off we go like we've just won the lottery, skipping to our hearts content to the queue for the venue,security check our tickets & we get through, we notice everyone's wearing masquerade masks (cool!! We think, what a great idea for a theme), we get free masks WOP WOP, get to the front excited for an epic night & BOOM! Soul destroyed in 5mins, the ticket is right but the venue os actually over the other side of the river. EPIC FAIL Mr Taxi driver, try taking us to the right venue next time, Hmmffp.

Off we go (free new mask tho, yay), our legs hurting, getting wet, slipping on the wet grass & walking about 20mins round a dark river, we see lights! We see action! We hear HOUSE MUSIC!!! Ok, so with the way the night has gone so far we are pretty sure this is actually a set up, Swedish House Mafia are not playing & certainly not playing there & a team of camera men are going to pop out & say we've been on some sort of Brazilian Jeremy frigging Beadle programme. Alas, the venue is right & a mere 4 hours after leaving the Hostel (it should have taken 30mins) we finally make it to the venue to find out Axwell starts his set in 15mins time, get in!!!! Then we remember some poor girl who was weeping with joy has now got a Sweidh House Mafia instead of a ticket to her one & only masquerade ball :S We do what anyone else would do in this situation & feel guilty for 5mins then head to the bar for beer.

This is one of my favourite nights in Rio so far, it was an amazing set with Axwell doing Swedish House Mafia proud. The girls were on form & we danced the night away like sober lunatics then had fun people watching & wondering why the Brazilian girls dressed like hookers with really bad taste (the men would have loved it though….oh that might be why then *lightbulb moment*).

Anywho ha, Sunday is another chilled one with drinks & dinner with Haifa's new mates & Monday I decide I really need to do something touristy while I'm there so we go to see Jesus. Jesus doesn't really interest me in general as I'm not particularly religious but I really enjoy calling him Christ the Reindeer so I only think it's fair I at least pay my respects for taking the p*ss out of him.

Buses come & go & our bus doesn't look like it's coming, I am now wondering whether Rio just wants me to suffer, or just doesn't like people actually getting to where they are going to at any great speed. It finally comes just before Haifa loses the will to live & we head off with a fresh excitement for the afternoon. Little did we know we would get shafted, we end up thinking we're paying 20 to see the Reindeer to find out that's only 20 to one point & we'd have to pay another 29 to the top, god damn! I go up alone & when I get there I think Reindeer has heard me taking the p*ss out of his name & has decided to hide behind some clouds, sulking. Tis ok though as he's not much to look at (I kid Christ, I kid) & I head back down as we have Sambadrome to hit! YEAH BABY!

Ok, as per normal it doesn't goto plan, a lot of faffing about means we leave the Hostel later than planned but we get to the Sambdrome & manage to haggle some Section 1 tickets for a reasonable price. Let me just tell you it's manic there, people everywhere & a long walk to our section BUT we see the floats getting ready to go in & excitement levels are high. I get told off for having glass bottled booze so in sign language manage to work out I'm not allowed in till I empty them into plastic bottles, joy! Luckily the security guy feels sorry for me & as a joined venture we get this done & me inside like a very small A Team on a mission. If you come to Rio for Carnival you HAVE to, I mean HAVE to, come to the Sambadrome, its beyond amazing & we weren't even in the best seats (& I didn't even have my glasses on so couldn't see), you can haggle tickets from outside rather than paying ridiculous prices, as long as you don't mind not having the best seats, some people got theirs for just 59 reals. The floats were incredible (one got cheers after freeing itself from being stuck on a railing, ha), the outfits were amazing & the crowd just cheered, sang & was merry! All in all a fabulous way to end my time in Rio :) x

P.s

Few thoughts on Rio:

People: are friendly & will help you if they can understand you. Men are too friendly, they always want the kissy kiss & if you don't oblige they will try & force you into a kissy kiss by grabbing your face, but that is ok if you like the men & don't want to make much effort.

Acai: is yummy, it's a fruit from the amazon which is really good for you. Until they smear it all over with a glucose formula, taking the sugar content to about 150% of your daily allowance. Still, it is nice with banana & granola.

Ipanema or Leblon are the places to stay & go in Rio, classier & everything is better looking. Copacabana is ok but a poor mans Ipanema.

Dogs: like to be dressed in shoes & outfits or carried in a baby carry. They must also be small & skinny like rats with longer legs, or they must be small & furry, preferably white.

Adeus x