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James on the Big T
It had been almost twenty years since I had last seen my youngest cousin, and as I waited with trepidation I thought back to stories about how her and her older sister used to argue about who was looking out of who's window when they were in the car. I didn't have long to think back as pretty soon I was being approached by a woman I was hoping was my cousin. Sure enough, it was Tess and as we exchanged pleasantries, and please excuse the cliché, it felt as though I had known her all my life. We drove around Melbourne for a bit before heading to St Kilda and a snazzy little bar/cafe where I was treated to the first beer of the day (9:30) and a beaut of a breakfast, just the thing after a night spent on a Greyhound coach sat next to a girl who refused to give up her one and a half seats. After breakfast we took a stroll along the beachfront and to another cafe where we detox-ed on orange juice, chatted away and swung around in some pretty cool chairs. Time was flying by and it wasn't long before the beach was packed and we made our way for lunch at one of my cousin's favourite restaurants. By mid-afternoon we were back at her house drinking wine with my auntie whilst sat in glorious sunshine. It was a perfect relaxing day and on the night we headed out to one of her friend’s houses to drink yet more alcohol before hitting the streets of Melbourne. I had been reliably informed that my youngest cousin could drink like a fish, and with horrible flashbacks to the previous Saturday in Byron, I felt slightly uneasy about how the night would pan out, especially at the mention of 'Jaeger bombs'; some shot of alcohol which you drop into a glass or Red Bull and then down. These are supposed to send you loopy, but after a couple of rounds I was still feeling okay although some may say that my dancing improved. The rest of the night was spent partying with her friends before heading home to bed in the wee-hours. The next morning I felt shattered and with a bad case of bed head and my mouth tasting like a sewer, I crept out of my room and made my way to the bathroom where I ran into my older cousin. I hadn't seen Sara for about four years and despite apologies for my appearance, she seemed happy to see me. Saturday was spent chilling out, drinking beer with Dinny, Sara's husband, and watching DVDs before a family BBQ on the night, a darts contest and yet more fizzy drinks. Darts, like surfing, is another sport that I'm not best suited to. Tess is an avid football fan and truth-be-told, is probably more passionate about England than me. She is also a big fan of Manchester United, but there's no accounting for taste. She promised to show me Australian's playing soccer, and after a family lunch along the bank of the river in Melbourne and a browse around the casino we headed to a bar to watch the season-finale of the A-League. The game was between Melbourne Victory and Adelaide United, although the result would suggest that Adelaide never really turned up. A 6-0 drubbing did the job and it was comical to see and hear Aussie fans chant at a TV screen for 90 minutes. Feeling jubilant, we headed back to St Kilda and the bar where we had eaten breakfast. The place was rammed and after a few beers to celebrate, it was time to head home to bed. Monday was all about heading up the Great Ocean Road, one of the world's best coastal drives. We headed west from Melbourne under a beautiful blue sky but within an hour we were under dark clouds and soon enough the windscreen wipers were working away. We drove through the town of Torquay and onto Bells Beach, home of surfing competitions and the place made famous by the film Point Break. Only an expert would dare surf here as the rips are huge and thus I stayed out of the water. After a few catalogue poses we continued our journey along to the town of Lorne where we sat and ate lunch. By now the rain had stopped but the clouds remained. A stroll around the town was followed by another scenic journey to Apollo Bay where we splashed around in the surf. By now it was late afternoon, and having several cans of Red Bull, it was decided we should head back to Melbourne. As we approached the city, the cloud began to break and the sun came out. It had been a scorching day in Melbourne yet just along the coast it had been showery, how typical? Tuesday was all about breakfast with friends before I went to get my haircut by a woman I don't think knew what I was asking for. I politely asked for a trim, what happened was she took the razor to the back of my head, after my heart had stopped and then restarted, I attempted to reconfirm my favoured cut to which she just smiled and nodded her head. The outcome was something not far short of Britney-esque. Tessa, Sara and friends 'reckon' the hair looks better now it is short, I am not too sure. Either way the woman next to me was complaining when I left after another woman had shaved her head. Feeling shaken (and bald), we headed for cocktails before going to the cinema to see Deja Vu, a film I thought I had seen before, but wasn't too sure. It was actually pretty good, and from there we headed to meet Sara and go for food at a classy little Italian cafe. The food was delicious and feeling a little tipsy from the Italian beer, we went along the coast and found a nice beach to chill out on. The pictures will show a) us trying to master the art of karate, and b) how short my hair was. Wednesday started early as we were up at 6:30 to watch the football before heading back to bed for a power nap. We ate brunch at a restaurant on the beach at St Kilda before acting like nine year olds and having a seaweed fight in the sea, all the time watching out for jellyfish. On the night I headed out with Sara and Dinny to a pretty decent little bar for drinks before venturing on to the night market where Dinny and I devoured satay chicken and satay beef sticks for starters before a main course of coconut chicken and some very spicy beef dish which brought tears to my eyes. The market didn't have a lot to offer in terms of gifts etc, but it did provide decent food and the three of us where soon joined by Tess and her friend. That leads me to today, my last day in Melbourne and indeed Australia. The day started with yet another episode of football before lunch on a new dock development in the city. The afternoon was nice and relaxing as we strolled along the docks and then headed to an Italian cafe for lunch. After saying bye to Sara, Tess and Auntie Trish kindly dropped me off at the airport. I think it's safe to say that it won't be another twenty years before Tess and I meet up again. The week has been fabulous and it was great to see family once again. So it's 'goodbye' to Australia and 'hello' to New Zealand. Australia has been awesome, I think it's a good bet that I did indeed 'live the dream' here. To recap, these are the highlights of my time: I celebrated New Year in Sydney. I saw sunrise on Bondi. I got burnt on Bondi. I went a very bright red. I went canyoning. I ate the best pancakes in the world. I sang songs about Johnny Wilkinson at the Telstra Stadium. I nearly died of heat exhaustion in the Blue Mountains. I went inside the Opera House. I went snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef. I went diving on the reef. I saw a snake at Cape Tribulation. I ran on to the beach like a little girl after seeing the snake. I sat on deserted beaches. I fell asleep on deserted beaches. I also fell asleep on busy beaches. I listened to the Killers repeatedly on my iPod. I held a Koala, an angry croc and bloody big snake. I met a guy who used 'like' at every possible point in a conversation. I went diving of a secluded beach on Magnetic Island. I met two legendry Scottish lads in Airlie Beach. I went sailing around the Whitsundays. I got eaten by flies. I saw a shark. I walked towards the shark. I ran away from the shark. I tried to demonstrate my football skills during a game of beach soccer. I got hit by a huge wave and nearly fell off the boat. I ate satay chicken for England. I sailed the yacht. I tried chilli for the first time. I hit maximum speed on a scooter in 1770. I celebrated Australia Day in Bundaberg. I saw turtles at Mon Repos. I visited Fraser Island with Mick Dundee. I got burnt on Fraser Island. I partied hard with Roger Federer in Brisbane. I partied hard with Roger Federer and four Swedish girls in Brisbane. I got very wet at Australia Zoo. I tried surfing in Surfers Paradise. I drank salt water whilst trying to surf. I climbed up Mt Warning. I stayed at the best hostel in the world. I ate bowls of free ice cream at the aforementioned hostel. I biked up to the lighthouse in Byron Bay (just). I spent twenty minutes recovering from the bike up. I saw dolphins, turtles and manta rays. I got hideously drunk in Byron after watching England win a game of cricket. I went out dancing with Norwegian people. I got attacked by my surfboard in Coffs Harbour. I had to walk around Sydney barefoot after my thongs broke. I visited the home of the best pancakes, Pancakes on the Rocks, yet again in Sydney. I chilled out with a friend from Magnetic Island. I people-watched on Bondi. I lived the dream in Melbourne. I met family I hadn't seen in years. I got my haircut. I danced like an idiot, many many times over. I met some of the nicest, most attractive, interesting people in the world. I discovered I don't know what I want to do with my life. I discovered I miss my job/liked my job and would do it again. I realised that travelling is like a drug; the more you take it, the more you want.
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