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One thing about getting married is that you really begin to form a greater appreciation of the differences between men and women. No, not in THAT sense: more in the way that they approach life. An article in one of the books that we have about marriage notes that 'Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti. Men look at life in neat little compartments, dealing with issues one at a time; whereas women think more like a plateful of spaghetti, with lots of items criss-crossing and interlinked. A conversation is a good example of this. Men will talk about one item at a time and work out something to its natural conclusion before moving on to the next topic; whereas women will have several items on the go at once, swapping back and forth.'
Another example, of which I have personal experience, is shopping. Now put the words 'shopping' and 'the wife' in the same sentence and many men reach for the TV control, the newspaper, or head for the pub, but I'll be honest - I always go shopping with Nataly. To me it's the opportunity to spend time together, despite our different approaches to the same general idea.
We don't do a lot of shopping in Moscow. The prices are at least a third more expensive than they are in the UK and goodness knows how much more than in the USA. Therefore, whenever we go to either of these countries, we always look as though we're spendthrifts! It's just that we tend to do a lot of our purchasing at once. Other expat friends do the same.
So we ended up going to Newcastle, as mentioned in one of my other postings; and to the Metro Centre on Boxing Day. Now if, when living in the UK, someone had suggested getting up early to go to the Boxing Day sales at the Metro Centre - hell on earth to me - I would have politely told them where they could stick it, but needs must. We therefore left my parents' home at 8am, to arrive at 8:30 (to find a not inconsiderable number of people already there!) before the hordes arrived from 10am onwards, when the majority of shops opened their doors. And thank goodness we did, for we managed to find our bargains and leave at a good hour.
Shopping style, though, is quite different. I am what psychologists refer to as a 'teleological shopper': I see what I want, I buy it, I leave. Done. Nataly is more of a 'hunter-gatherer': she goes around looking at lots of different items and it takes her a considerable period of time to come to a decision. This clash of styles can leave her amazed that I can get a considerable amount done in a short space of time and leads to complaints of "I'm losing my touch" - her 'touch' being that special female skill allowing her to find instantly the perfect handbag/pair of trousers/top. I do not possess the 'touch', as far as I am aware, although my wife has become suspicious about what she thinks is high quality clothing and how I have managed to purchase it without her supervision (working on the assumption that I would be unable to choose decent clothing by myself....)
But men - in general - don't procrastinate over purchasing clothing, electronics, shoes etc. We've done all of the research beforehand. The trip to the shop is the final part of the process. We know what we want, where to get it, how to get it. Etc etc. Women enjoy the hunt and chat in the shops - even to the extent of getting the opinions of the assistants about whether they look good in particular outfits. Men, on the other hand, cannot understand this and look at shopping as a purely objective experience to be done when necessary. They find what they want, purchase it and leave.
One approach is not better than the other. They are just different and we need to embrace the differences so that each sex gains a fuller and better appreciation of the other.
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