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I have already sent this on 5.11.16, but it didn't publish so here we go again!
'Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.' ( Ernest Hemmingway)
I don't think our year would have been possible if the above was not true and I have to say that I am very proud of what we have achieved this year and have realised that not many couples would even attempt a year together -24/7.
It's quite remarkable when you have been married for a long while, what challenges and hurdles you have to overcome.
When Jonathan, and then Hannah was born, I remember worrying about how to share the love equally between, without naturally not forgetting Jeff. Everything settled as they grew from babies to toddlers and we went through an idealistic, blissful stage. This changed as the children grew and became independent and the 'control' you once had disappeared. I like to call adolescence, the 'red wine' stage !' I'm sure some of you will understand why!!! When they learned to drive, I remember reassuring them, while at the same time just hoping that I was going to survive. 'The Empty Nest Syndrome,' - that can so often be a 'deal breaker,' but they went to university, left home and that was that. Besides the unanticipated panic when they returned!!! And so the list goes on and on ....No one can ever totally prepared for 'being a parent' and the loving and the caring never really stops. And now they are married and we are just love Alexandra and Matt. How lucky are we!
All the time, there are the demands of working, trying to be the ultimate professional and juggling the work life balance. Other hurdles that we all have to deal with, the death of family and friends, such traumatic, stressful times. I know that this is so difficult for all of us.
In amongst of this, Jeff and I have always tried to keep our social life alive, trying to look good, while at the same time keeping our body and mind in good shape, which as you all know is not always easy.
Somehow, for Jeff and I, when we have overcome everything that life has thrown our way, our marriage somehow has always been better - stronger and more resilient.
Obviously, for all of the hurdles and challenges we have been so lucky. Jonathan and Hannah are married and we are just so lucky with their choices and this makes us so proud of what we created. We have had so many achievements and wonderful times. Such fantastic times indeed.
So that brings us back to this year - we have seen so much and been to so many different places, but what was it for and why? What made us want to take a year out (almost a year )?
Surely a year together, (24/7), could ruin what we had - over exposure to one another!
I think we have always seen this year as breaking the mould, changing the routine. Perhaps Jeff and I needed to 'escape,' but what from? We love our family and our home, so why?
'The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.' (M. Proust)
Perhaps we got a little 'lost' and never realised it, I don't think as a result of this year, our lives will totally change and everything will be different, but perhaps we will just see things differently. If you travel far enough you find yourself. Perhaps having the time, not knowing what day it is because you don't have deadlines, is when you find out more about your 'inner self.'
I think that the last couple of years had caught up with me and it was important to jump off 'the hamster wheel' which at times seemed to have consumed our lives and engulf us. I think this definitely happened to me, I was no longer using time effectively. I loved my work and to be honest, in some ways let it take over. I know I'm not on my own, there are lots of 'us' out there. It's not that I would change anything, absolutely not, but work invaded my life and I was not available in the week for friends and socialising. Even though every weekend was busy with entertaining and socialising. Work seemed to be the over riding factor in my world. I was aware of it but didn't truly deal with it. Jeff, never really liked the transition from work to retirement - there always seemed to be unfinished business. I know so many people fall into retirement, but it just wasn't like that for Jeff.
So that is where this idea came from. There was this opportunity - that we both seemed to grab with both hands, it really didn't take us long to decide , it wasn't a matter of persuading each other, we both decided it was the right thing to do. Neither of us had to explain the reasons to one another. January 21st happened and we took off. What an adventure we have had.
We have learned that we can be together 24/7 and in reality we have been surprised that we have not needed 'breaks' in the day or days off. There have been a 'few' moments where we have not totally agreed, but if asked has there ever been a moment when we have felt that we needed to go home and it was all a mistake- no absolutely not.
I think that I have found 'me' again and Jeff - he's great; however he really needs to ride his bike again.
There will be only a couple more blogs - the adventure is about to finish and a new one will start in 2017. It won't be the same, but as Jeff says whatever happens next, ' we will always be able to say that we did it!'
Reality struck when Hannah said the other day on Facetime - 'Mum, you and Dad have had far too much fun - it's time to come home!'
Indeed we have- how lucky we are!
Love to you all.
- comments
LordRic52 You left by far the best blog till last ! Everybody has experienced the defeat of their lives. Nobody has a life that worked out the way they wanted it to. We all begin as the hero of our own dramas in centre stage and inevitably life moves us out of centre stage, defeats the hero, overturns the plot and the strategy and we’re left on the sidelines wondering why we no longer have a part — or want a part — in the whole damn thing. Everybody’s experienced this. And when we accept it, the feeling moves from heart to heart and we feel less isolated and we feel part of the great human chain which is really involved with the recognition of defeat. I'm glad you've found 'you' again. See you soon. Ric xxx
Ann Whiteley As Rick says you have saved the best til last!! Have really enjoyed all the blogs and am wondering if your next venture will be as a travel writer??!!! Enjoy the next few days and have a safe journey home - will look forward to catching up. Love to you both xx
Steve A case of meeting yourselves coming back then!