Day one on the HMS Rick Astley and so far we've been marginally more successful than the Bellgrano. Mick picked a fight with some concrete and we're not sure who won. Far more alcohol was consumed that is neither wise nor safe for the first day. This bodes well for the week. Whilst venturing off the boat we encountered the lovely (and terrifying) racists of of Wheelock. On the plus side Ads is cooking what could be a game changing breakfast. And I saw a cow with massive udders. So all in all a good day. The tone for the journey was set ten minutes in when Mick knocked his green emergency light into the canal. The resulting rescue attempt dislodged a British Waterways vessel which drifted across the causeway. Later, Gaz's sexual ardour caused the sort of consternation which makes us unlikely to be welcome in the Cheshire Cheese again. Day two must surely bring the Rapture to surpass our opening achievements.